as life pushes us forward
and wears us down
with distance and space,

know that i will not
let go of your hand.

but i fear you will tire of me—
arms aching, patience thinning,
time diluting what we hold.

please don’t let go.

i will trade you
a terrible memory
for one of mine

a memory of comfort
a warm embrace
in October rain

a memory of relief
breath steady and soft
no more fear of the road

now rest
close your eyes
feel my heart beating

I envy the sunlight
gently kissing
your skin
in the morning

I envy the birds
singing to you
their chirps slipping
into your ears

I envy it all
for I cannot hold you
nor will my voice
ever reach you

and in this dream the blank office walls cage me and the lifeless convenience store lunches fuel the empty chase for success and the silent motorcycle ride takes me back to the four gray walls i call home where your photo still sits in its frame and i sip gray coffee on the balcony staring at the big window view you once dreamt of as i try to remember the color you once brought to this gray life and i ask why you’re not here beside me

it is unjust for love
to exist like this

sea and sky between us,
miles and miles more

but our souls
are closer, still

i do not wish to simply be a tulip
in a garden of assorted flowers

allow me this selfishness—
to be the sole object of love

to be the only flower
in your garden

i will grow old with you and the skin we cherish so dear will shrivel and wrinkle and our joints will struggle to grasp the morning coffee and our aged minds will distort the past we held so dear but we will not forget the way our warmth lingered in the decrepit bed made for two