For months
I've locked the deadbolt
To this
Battered heart
A few keys
Have tried
To open it
Failing the part

And as another
Comes and goes
A secured gateway
From the start
I've forgotten
All Along
Who holds my master key
The One who never departs

© JL Smith

I've forgotten
The kiss upon my lips
The way to let go and be held
I've forgotten
To accept unconditional love,
But I'm hopeful I'll remember how

© JL Smith

I was fascinated by magic
Until you chose to disappear

© JL Smith

I never knew strength until it's all I had left
Stripped of everyone and everything; a victim of theft

I never knew strength until I was visited by death
Pleaded with God until His hand helped me catch my breath

I never knew strength until I faced myself
Staring in the mirror, buried by emotions I felt

I never knew strength until I chose to move on
Acknowledging my future is brighter now that you're gone

I never knew strength until I loved thyself
Standing firm in my convictions while accepting help

I've witnessed my strength; I no longer doubt
But in time I'll learn, I'm capable of much more inside and out

© JL Smith

If you tell me you fear heights,
I'll climb your highest mountains

If you tell me you fear water,
I'll sail your deepest oceans

Share with me your secrets,
I promise I won't tell them

If you admit that you feel broken,
I'll reassure you, your heart is golden

And if you fear to love again,
I'll show you that it's worth it

© JL Smith

I'll wear myself out
Carrying this load
The one I believed I must burden

Embedded in my mind
Long ago
To heed echoes of the more "knowledgeable" person

But I'm learning in time
All they exclaimed as what's best
Doesn't fit my mold, it only worsens

Disregarding their judgement
Abandoning expectations
Looking within to sculpt my greatest version

© JL Smith

I take my time
Stand behind the others
Listen before I speak
Then confront what they run from

You can tell me what to do,
But I'll learn my own way
I'm as hard-headed as they come
Whatever's forced turns me away

I won't duplicate the norm
I create what others can't
My ideas are abnormally structured,
But come alive through my two hands

Too many think the same
And so the world continues to circle
Yet, I question if it can change
As I dedicate my existence to its reversal

© JL Smith

At times, I long for
Drops of rain instead of sun
Gardens full of green
Rather than concrete paths to run

Sometimes summer's absence
Of winter's frosted flakes
Leaves me desiring blankets of snow
In place of sweltering rays seeking shaded breaks

After witnessing so many dusks
Of painted, sunset skies
For once, I lust after the dawn
Wondering how morning colors reflect my eyes

But mostly, I covet the luminosity of stars
Among the night throughout my day
Yet, when darkness arrives, I miss you most
Yearning for warmth while you're away

© JL Smith

I see you hurting
And fear there's not much I can do
The truth sometimes shatters hope,
But I promise, a little goodness remains, too

Maybe in time you'll see
You never truly lost what you need
At times, what you want
Isn't what's best, but misleads

Though if you wish to kick and scream
Shout to the Heavens on your knees
Cry in a corner or curse freely
I'll stand by--now and always--caring deeply

© JL Smith

And I wonder
If we feared saying those three words
A little less
Would our precious world reside
In its current state of distress?

© JL Smith

Tonight, my tires traced the highway
I pulled over after missing my exit
Sidelined, I sat there
As the breeze through my window
Raised the hairs along my skin
And at once, it hit me
In that moment
Fear overcame bravery
Maybe you broke me
And there's no self-help book
To relearn how to let someone love me

© JL Smith

This blanket brings warmth to most everyone
Yet, when I wrap it around me I seem colder
Yearning to thaw the frost from my bones
Within your arms, I melt while you smolder

© JL Smith

How soothing
The sound of rain
As it trickles across
My rooftop
Reminds me of
The summer day
We danced along
My sidewalk

© JL Smith

City lights
Emulating
Moonlight
Divided highways
Lead foot
Chasing midnight
Accelerated thoughts
Crisp breeze
Rear view mirror hindsight
You deserve better
Than a runaway
Trusting only
Her headlights

© JL Smith

Don't let me forget
My high
Flying above the earth
Peering out narrow windows
Through opaque skies
Watching familiar lands
Fade into unknown territory

Don't let me forget
The scent
Of summer's sweet drizzle
Driving through double rainbows
Crossing mountains
Concealed in lush greens
As my face beams

Don't let me forget
The spirit
Of grand cities
Bustling beings
And evolution of architecture
The accents of ancestors
Accepting my history

Don't let me forget
The power
Of voluminous river waters
Falling over a hundred feet
Crashing upon boulders below
Soaking my skin in its mist
As I approach its thunderous base

Don't let me forget
The love
Of new friends becoming family
An invitation of warmth
Delicious dining
Late-night laughs
And sincere, Until-next-times

Don't let me forget
To learn
To love
To live

© JL Smith

I've never labeled myself a singer
My voice is rather shy,
But after we spoke
My heart belted an operatic cry

© JL Smith

You took this heart
And devoured it whole
Digested it in pieces
Lunging after my soul

You dimmed the light
Gleaming from my eyes
Coerced tunnel vision
Blue to black skies

You silenced my dreams
Bringing nightmares to life
Sleep deprivation
Demon wielding a knife

You belittled my spirit
Envious of my growth
Made me pay in your anger
Sworn to secrecy,
Hidden oath

© JL Smith

Sometimes
My greatest strength
Requires surrender of weight
Trusting a Higher Power
Intercedes to lift
While I maintain faith

© JL Smith

It is said that
Blood is thicker than water,
But my friend,
You quenched my desert thirst
As I wandered

© JL Smith

You won't impress me
With your Bentley
I'm just as beautiful
Driving my 17-year-old Camry
Shades on
Windows rolled down
Radio turned up
My spirit radiates
Across town

© JL Smith

Love greets you
In the morning
Amid the afternoon
And evening, too

But what I receive
I must ration
To keep me
Pulling through

The difference is
You're greedy
Needs become desires
And thus, you pursue

While my chest's
Ripped open revealing
My *****
Beating loyally for you

And so here I am
Left wondering
If there's anything
I can do

To contain
All this emotion
As both contempt and love
Cloud my view

© JL Smith

Pieces of the heart:
Right and left atrium
A set of ventricles
Separated by a septum
The aorta and blood vessels, too
Working together
Pumping life through this body,
But every day
I give bits of it away
As appreciation,
As an "I love you."

© JL Smith

Left out or left behind
In your shadow every time

Watched from afar
The praise you received

Admired you
And what you achieved

Your name well-known
Among our peers

Mine forgotten
Year after year

Relentless pursuit
Your path I followed

A hand-me-down
Everything borrowed

Sought your approval
Constantly dismissed

Realization in time
As I now reminisce

So similar to the eye
Yet worlds apart inside

I stopped being you
My first sense of pride

Earning recognition
Embracing my own strengths

Not ashamed of my weakness
Hope kept at arm's length

I've gained your respect
I know now it's not needed

Who I am, I always was
My own approval exceeded

© JL Smith

Though the SUN chose to sleep
I awoke
With your, "Good morning"
I felt its absent warmth

© JL Smith

I may not make much money,
But I make myself proud

My IQ isn't ranked genius,
But I can captivate a crowd

Neck and wrists don't shine with diamonds
Yet, my beauty radiates all the same

My tongue often twists and stutters,
But my script puts the best to shame

I seek solitude for peace,
But my loyalty is fierce

I may not know my destination,
But my faith is letting Him steer

© JL Smith

If the grass
Ain't always
Greener
I'll set sail
Away from land

© JL Smith

I invited you to dinner
Seated ourselves at a table for two
I glanced around the room
Summoning the courage to confront you

I've known you for too long
And I know you all too well
When times get hard and I need help
You step in, casting me under your spell

Others may ask if I'm all right
Extending a look or touch of sincerity
That's when I'm reminded of your voice
So I state, "I'm fine"--
Your infamous words of transparency

I know how you envy my vulnerability
Attempting to brainwash my nature,
But I've grown tired of your ego
And your effort to control my behavior

So, listen closely as I conclude these words
I'm accepting it's OK to admit I'm not
And I'm worthy of love
Tonight, dear Pride, I apologize,
But I'm breaking up with you on the spot

© JL Smith

I've endured the deepest blue:
Shades of midnight,
Presidential and navy, too

Once was prescribed medication
To help see me through,
But learned you can't bottle happiness
So, I chose an alternative view

Transforming pain into power
Biding hurt adieu
I channeled my grief
Into spreading hope, love and laughter
Among dark palettes to brighten its hue

© JL Smith

I remember--
I must've been a little younger than five
The first time I learned of letting go
Peeking around my mom's recliner
Staring tearfully at the screen
Dorothy said goodbye to the Scarecrow

We formed a friendship, an unlikely pair
Me poking fun at your lack of brains
You encouraging me as I followed a dream
Down my winding, yellow-brick lane

You were there for me first
Seeing me through every storm
Communicating in the darkest of nights
As I hid fearfully from a tornado that formed

A journey full of memories
A bond strengthened through time
I've always found you most intelligent
And whether I stay or go--
I'll remember there's no place like home
When your love is mine

© JL Smith

I reached a crossroad
My integrity tested
I chose traveling justly
Knowing the path may grow ugly

I gritted my teeth,
Yet carried of firmly
And soon you approached
Armed to provoke me

But I stood my ground
As you crept closely
Ready to retaliate
An adversary, ignorant of my faith

Your attempt to attack
Will fall short in our midst
For an army stands behind me
Pledging allegiance as goodness persists

© JL Smith

I'm harder on myself
Than you will ever be
You're more concerned with my world
Than your own scenery
It gets under your skin
The way you watch me progress
Contrasting yourself
Surrendering before success
Judging my every move
Accomplishments and failures
Embellishing the latter
To suit the envy you've tailored
Shift your energy and focus
It's not too late to start over
Accept I am my own worst critic
Yet, I continue planting seeds like the sower

© JL Smith

You may see something in me
That's captivated your heart,
But don't attempt to mold me
Into something you're desiring I'm not

I don't long for a sculptor
Instead, a friend I can trust
I'm complete on my own
And believe in Love unrushed

I'm unabashedly me
Proud of the stories I've lived
For I molded myself through heartache and laughter
And the love I continually give

I won't judge your honesty
I'm magnetized by authenticity
Our pasts shape our present
Autobiographies lacking simplicity

So, tell me your story
I'll stay awake with the stars
Share what has shaped your heart
Individual pasts may form a shared future that's ours

© JL Smith

YOU AND MY HEART
Questioning the pair

Never saw it coming
And suddenly, it was there

Yesterday you spoke
Smiled as a friend

Today something's different
I can't comprehend

Clouded judgment
Rationality impaired

Loss my train of thought
Feelings undeclared

It beats a little faster
Now that you're near

YOU AND MY HEART
The answer became clear

© JL Smith

I used to think the pinnacle of elation
Derived from you so wittingly
Conjuring my laugh,
But I must attest,
The sincerest bliss occurs
After I induce the same--
Witnessing your face illuminate
Is a gift unwrapped

© JL Smith

One of these nights
As I gaze upon the Texas sky
I'll lasso the moon
And hail a ride
Among a shooting star
A flash of light
Dark's brightest story
My meteoric flight

© JL Smith

Five fingers, a palm
Rough texture
Yet, soothing calm
Diligent, precise
Your heated touch
My body's paradise

© JL Smith

Tears drop
Leaky faucet
Face buried
Behind hands

Repressed anger
Exploding rocket
Fists clenched
Gasping air

Anesthesia fading
Comfort counterfeit
Heart throbbing
To LIVE

© JL Smith

I remember how I wrote for you
Rhyme after rhyme
How you pretended to love them--
My words, every time

I remember how you said you read them
But I soon realized you lied
Eyes devoted to your electronic screens
As my stories laid beside

I remember how I valued your opinion
Any emotion my words may evoke
You knew they came from deep inside me
Yet, you lacked the depth for them to soak

I remember how you asked for help
When you needed something written
As you sat beside me demanding
I pick up my pace, write quicker

I remember when you scolded me
Exclaimed I couldn't write
You knew how much it meant to me
How writing is my life

But now I've learned my lesson
And I'll remember it for years to come
I don't write for you, but for me instead
You weren't worthy and no longer will I succumb

© JL Smith

Promises roll swiftly
Off sultry lips
Kiss me, you demand
And my tongue begins to dance

© JL Smith

Stroll into my life
Conveniently a critic
Choosing when and where
To enter my story
Pessimistic cynic

The mask you wear
May hypnotize
Attracting followers
Here and there
I'm not deceived,
But wise beyond my years

Project onto me
Anger and jealousy
I'm constructed
To comprehend;
What you portray
Deflects your fear
As loneliness sinks in

Defining your disease
Is simple
A hypocrite,
You pretend
I offer my hand,
A genuine token
Yet your pride
Is in command

© JL Smith

So many ask,
"How are you?"
Without intention of
Listening as a friend
But I ask,
"Will you sit beside me?"
As you share how
Your story began

© JL Smith

I often wonder
If your thoughts wander
Along the boulevard
Of what could be
Leading out of the urban
And into the rural fields of gold
With me

© JL Smith

Let me remind you,
a nomad's observing--
You question your path,
as it becomes increasingly swerving
The pack's grown heavy,
but you must advance
For when you lease expect it,
your actions influence those
who have reached an impasse

© JL Smith

And her eyes shared a story
Her lips never would
Hazel glistening like glass
Just as fragile
Exposing her past

© JL Smith

As you take that step closer to the edge
To get the view they won't
As you stand to speak
And their voices cease
Or you lean in slowly
For that first kiss
As your wit turns to humor
Before their laughter fills the room
As your plane lands
And you search for a face
Or your hesitant finger
Hovers "Submit"

You feel it along your forearms as the hairs begin to rise
And in your stomach, as it starts to squirm
You feel it in your bones
And in your mind, as it races to process
What's next

© JL Smith

You're there for me in ways
I cannot yet fully explain
I may not know your name
But our passion is the same

Let me share with you
What I feel, too
It took some time before I knew
This path we share, should be pursued

Through these words
We express our thoughts
Our fears, our desires
When our tongue's in knots

We doubt their power
Question its effect
Yet we continue to write
Adamant to perfect

The mark of an artist
Dedicated, through and through
Piecing together stories of beauty and heartache
For those unable to

We share a connection
Most won't understand
Old souls, storytellers
Stranger, take my hand

And remember, my friend
To believe in your words
From what I've read
It's imperative they're heard

© JL Smith

You and I have similar hearts
Different stories forming its parts,
But what I feel you've felt before
An outside smile while inside waging war

You gathered it quickly
How I'll invite you in with me
Your patience and listening
Unconditional love, persisting

You don't sugarcoat the truth
Yet, you protect and soothe
Walking beside me, I don't need to be carried
Allowing independence and growth, not burying

You see something of yourself within me
Maybe secretly praying I don't flee,
But let me share with you what I'm thinking
I'm beginning to trust you as you save me from sinking

© JL Smith

Don't follow in my footsteps
I warn you,
Soon they'll disappear
For my dreams won't
Keep me grounded
Before long,
these wings will lift me
In the air

© JL Smith

Stop, dear girl
Savor this moment
The world spins fast enough
Don't forget the present
Before it's stolen

© JL Smith

How could a smile
So radiant
Write from a place
Of such pain?

This question
You asked me
As you walked
The surface
Without digging
The terrain

For my roots
Have traveled deeply
Around rock--
Through dirt and clay,
But my limbs
Bear fruit of beauty
After the rain
Has washed away

© JL Smith