O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

You are fireworks
in my chest and
things I can't hold on to
are slipping between my toes as I walk
across them. You don't care
that you showed up and stamped
a small portion of my stomach
with your butterfly-shaped coil.
I want it off
gone
out
done
but I know you'll come back
and I want you to feel the outline of it.
That way you'll know I never stopped trying
never stopped caring.
I need you to care, too.

we sat there
watching Rocky Horror
perplexed by sexuality
and it's gravitational
pull
and our need to
be touched

we both wanted each other
but were too scared by our own
thoughts and hadn't yet
grown accustomed to rejection

not that we'd be rejected

an age where we only can express
ourselves through a jumble of
metal and electricity

funny

What no one ever tells you
Is it’s gonna be real tough
You’re gonna wanna give up
You’ll think you’ve had enough


What no one ever tells you
Is your books don’t always go
With the classes you have picked
They’re outdated and too old


What no one ever tells you
Is that High School doesn’t compare|
To the Profs and the people
To the classrooms and the chairs


What no one ever tells you
Or what they say instead
College is a bomb
It’s a party, so we’ve read


What no one ever tells you
Or rather so they say
You can fly through College
Without showing up a day


What no one tells you
And what I’m saying now
I’ve been there two days
And I’ve figured out just how


Much that no one ever tells you
And what they never say
College is important
In every single way


And what no one tells you
Most importantly of all
Is never to give up
When you think you’ve lost it all


What no one ever tells you
Is that though you are debt
You need this education
You’ll get through this yet


What no one ever tells you
Is there are people who care
To help you through these years
Make it out fair and square


What no one ever tells you
Is this is a challenge of sorts
But prepares you for the real world
Makes or breaks you of course

What no one ever tells you
Is you’re gonna make it through
With support systems and time
And people who love you

I get so lost some days
I feel like I am rubbernecking lightning
Just waiting for the flash

And life is a Nissan brake-checking your awe

People say you can tell how close the storm is
By counting seconds between lightning and thunder
If you can see it
It is always close enough

I don't mean to romanticize everything
But it's what I do

The clouds look like scabs
In front of some bolts
Before they mesh back into the smooth blackness

I wish I healed that fast

i do not love you because
of your strong shoulders to carry me  
     or the long-wracked intellectual faculties that desert me
          or even your face – that launched the ship of my glass-bottle heart
and sent me crashing onto a burning shore camped by all my worst fears;

or because of the way my emptiness frames you
                                                    like the moon
       on the blank pages of my frostbitten heart
       (but as they say, what is a heart anyway?)

i do not love you because
    you love me
              besides,
                             – there is no evidence to support such an abstraction.

i do not even love you because
     you bring me my tea, and tuck my feet under the blanket in the winter times
     or because of that half-arsed smirk
                                                                   – the one that makes me want to punch your mouth
or because i should love you because you are, i suppose, my lover.

But,
there are small things
      the way your teeth show when you laugh
      and your yellow tee-shirt – ugly sandals
                   and the way you sweat when i run from you on gritty sand beaches
                                                                           12 (or so) kilometres from your white walls and
half-empty photo albums

that funny face you make
     and your rough, hardened fingers from miles of copper guitar strings
                                                   over miles of long dusty roads
     when we drive, minutes stuck between our polaroid past and
                             the wind-tossed hair at the end of the hot orange horizon
                                                                                    sun roof, sunglasses
not smiling because we are not obligated

how, when we lie together, your breaths rasping in the throat of your sleep
                          i steal your heat,
                                                        survive.

I'm terribly lost

It seems that every fork
that I encounter
on this road of life
I choose the one
that puts me further from my goal

Everyone else seems to know where they're going
It's really quite frustrating.

Do I really have that bad a sense of direction?

I've been looking for you for years
The one I can give my heart to
It's here
in this box
all *******
with fancy twine and tissue paper.
It has a tag on it that says "From:  Hopelessly in Love"
I haven't filled out the To: yet

I will once I find you

I want to meet you
I want to become your friend
I want to fall in love
I want the feeling of your hand in mine
I want lazy summer days spent laying on the grass with you (just watching the clouds drift by)
I want frosty winter nights curled in a blanket with you (sipping hot cocoa in my arms)
I want to smile for no other reason than because
you are happy
I want to share your fears and sorrows because
no one should have
to bear them alone

I want to find the one
who is worthy of this affection
who is worthy of my time
who is worthy of my love

I will present my heart to you
when I find you

If I find you....

...I hope I find you