Knowing you, as I do, in cyber-space,
not in the world that we consider "real,"
I have no way of knowing how I'd feel,
if I should chance to meet you face-to-face.

Looking at you, I wonder would I be
embarrassed, mute, uncertain what to say,
and end up wondering why I'd come this way,
not really sure if this was right for me?

Or would we hit it off right from the start?
Two minds that share their innermost ideas
of poetry and life, their hopes and fears,
like two souls with one single beating heart?

(In case you think by cyber-love I'm smitten,
I'll make it clear - it's fantasy I've written.)

within me, the voice mumbles
along the lyrics
when standing around
and in between my own ghosts and their friends
and my friends
they don't recognize me
do they even see me?


my lips no longer carry the taste of yours
everyone I have ever loved
I no longer feel in my bones

as I walk up the stairs
groceries in my hand
I mumble along the lyrics
the loneliness in my head
I remember the milk I forgot
so I drink my coffee black
and urge to fall asleep

it's 3 am and I wish I hadn't forgotten the milk

it's 4.30 I'm the only one left at the party
but the room is full

its 5.25 when i realize im alone in my bed
in my head

she loves him,
              &  he loves her
and not time or space
or catching glances
from arm & arm linked
couples disturbing the twittering birds
could halt that.

for, she loves him.
and he loves her.

I wish that i didn't have a heart love you

But i played a part in breaking you down
Gave you that permanent frown
Left you on a permanent down
Promised you a wedding gown

But i just left town
On my own i sit here
Thinking of you
Who i hurt ever so much
Clutching at what i have left

why are you still so kind
After all i left you behind
All i am good at is whining
And hiding in my mind

Crying in the dark
Listening to the nightlark
With you i feel a spark
As sure as dogs bark
She loves me

And i owe her
I need to show her
I care
So i sit here and stare
Into the darkness
Feeling heartless

Looking for inspiration
Devastation is all i feel
When i read my writings

fighting my depression
What is your impression of me
Me he who bleeds from his wrists
The Mascot of Pain