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 Jul 2013 Jesse Belcher
sabella
Fake
 Jul 2013 Jesse Belcher
sabella
All it takes is fake beautiful smile to hide the pain and broken soul you have. They will never notice how broken and far you have falling into the darkest loneliness .  They just believe the fake you put on. He never looks inside to see you the real you.If he would  just look into your eyes. He would see how much pain he puts you in, how much he is killing you and just how far you have fallen  from you. You have gotten so good at the fake you. He don't see that you've been replaced with this fake  The you that you use to know and love into this fake one you hate so much. But you play pretend to make him happy everything you do everything you are is all for him. Everything you are always for him. You believe when he says.    The      I love you with all my heart .     The you are the ONE .    The  Always and FOREVER      The Your so beautiful.      The Always you.   But then knowing he's not in love with you anymore that he is giving his love to someone else. You fake never to show that you know. You stay to never  be alone. Never again well you be alone you can't not again. Is it not the same to be with him and be alone. Or to be without him and be alone. Why is your all not enough for him. He takes your life and soul and takes never giving anything back to you but fake himself. nothing but pain. Why dose she have to go through this why is she always alone and faking to be someone she's not. All she ever wanted was to be loved for the women she is just to be held to be kissed for the women she is but all she get this the fake why. Why does misery love her so much why is pain that runs through her vanes . Loneliness is her soul and the emptiness of a fake women is her life.  Never to let go always to be alone and fake to make him happy you stay in pain with the beautiful fake smile he says he loves so much. Never knowing the person you used to be the one you loved. The one you could look in the mirror and say hi beautiful. She is lost no one can ever see her again. He has took her life consumed all of  her spirit. All that remained Is the Hollow Monster Inside.
Holding a golden orb, shining in magical love
Glistening until eternity, shining in magical love

A songbird sang for the pair, high in the sky above
Tunes of longevity, of an endearing love

Heart treads entwined, under the moon's glove
Dreams spun in fidelity, a truly splendid love

Traveling the beautiful path, of a seasonal dove
Two souls meshed with conviviality, sparkling their love

Their lifelong bond so exquisite, such wondrous love
A complete circle of unity, lasting with cherishing love
I might grow
might get up and go to face
what the future has in store.
But what if it's not more than what I desire?
what if that future fire is cold and I get old before it's lit
what if bit by bit I dissolve
revolving around my own axis
and as far as I know you don't get to practice
growing up.

I might not grow but again as far as I know I won't get a choice, it's written in ink upon the list of wishes and dreams but somebody missed off my surname and gave a lame excuse that I'd be no use as a man.
can you believe it?
As if I'm already evolving into another bit bit bit
but I sit in the bedroom or lay on my bed with the thoughts of growing up going around in my head
and it scares me.
that which cannot be seen,already dreamt of in a forgotten dream and I feel as if I've been there before
but that can't possibly be because I cannot see any more than today where I sit or I lay and I think.
In the blink of an eye and as time rushes on by
I have asked myself over and over again the same question ,why?

When the dew of the morning has cried out of the sky and the birds are all chirping and go about working the fields for their food
and I, semi **** decide to get dressed.
I am always impressed with the way life goes on
whenever I feel something's wrong it is right
I might grow up some day or tonight
and if something just is
then just might
is another thing wrong
but it's right.
we were it and that was all
everyone knew, and everyone saw

foolish, young, and gullible was I
I said I loved you, I could not lie

looking back at every day
we were independent, no one else had a say

lust had came, and with that it left
my innocence was taken, for you were the theft

looking at you then was such a mystery
now I can read you, so that's all history

I do fully regret most of it all
but the one thing I'd just change is how willing I was to fall

down to my knees and to bow at your presence
I was foolish I say, I have learned my lesson

done with you, but also us
you mean nothing to me, you were no diamond in the rough

but you were the force which kept pushing me further
down a dark path, but yet that's where I found her

an angel who guided me into the light
I was saved, you lost the fight

sometimes I ponder if we were never
if that occurred I would not be so clever

so the tricks and lies you have passed down to me
I owe you no gratitude, and that now I see

without you I'm fine and I stand on my own
my wings have grown back and from your trap I have flown
sunsets and rainbows
stain the canvas, sky
an onslaught of color
mark the once blind clouds

in a world delusional
of beauty irrational
yet auburn sunlight
where the demons fight

hear the haunting tune
of sweetest sorrow
the scarred melody
its bitter determination

the powdered crayons
and drifting wind
feel the pastel snowflakes
of one Wonderland winter

with espoir
and a turn of winds
no vouloir
can't be reached

the cold breeze finds
tinkling glass
and the echo of
windchimes ethereal

and plain old jane
she dulls the pain
all factors in life where
she'll always care

the querulous kind
the insecure kind
but deep down inside
hides a love overflowing

its beauty like roses
yet as wild as their thorns
a smile like gunfire
but a heart closed in ice

so stays in denial
a stretch of black and white
a blur in one's vision
now faded to gray

an unforseen wind
with strange predicaments
perhaps it was all
a hallucination?

- - -
Helpless at the foot of temptation.
She stomps on me, I lay on the ground.
Don't bother getting up.
Love will not conquer this time around.
Because when no one is looking...
I'm pulling up and out all the devils
I swear I'd put down.
But the baby is crying for me to pick her up.
Screaming like a tortured child.
I gave birth to this desire,
and it must die by my hand alone.
Drown the baby in the shower,
or continue riding this wild bull at the rodeo.
Sharp pictures.
Sparkling nights.
  Late night caps.
   Silent conversation.

The night was quiet
The only music present
Was to synchronize the lightening bugs heaven.

The lake to the front,
The trees to the back.
Forested by a dark blue canopy.

That song was undefined.
The kiss, without time.
The night comes alive,
At the sound of your voice.

Fireflies shimmered
as if chatting back,
Answering every hesitated question.
The dark veil of tangled hair
and long eyelashes, hide your emotion.

Roll the window down,
But don’t make a sound.
Feel the July all around you.

Hear the distant
Booms in the sky.
We don’t even need to see them.

Your silence alone is so beautiful,
Every humming has a tempo.

That old house was still and full of mystery.
The road long, winding and seemingly
penetrating.

The legends are enough
To satisfy our urban curiosity.
Keep driving.
Keep me safe.

Just one last stop,
Don’t turn around.
Remember when we played around,
right here in this place?
It seems haunted with happier times.

Ominous and unwelcoming.
Yet we lay together,
breathing intertwined.
Hardly speaking.

With black eyes,
You kiss as if you know every mood
And you kiss as if you know every move.

It’s time. 11:11 again.
Time to make that wish.
If it never could form with word or thought…
Does it even exist?

It’s time to go back.
This place is drowning.
Text me goodnight, like you always do.
Keep me from frowning,
Like you always do.

I feel safe just to read those letters.
I can’t ever say thank you
For making my days better.
Infinite summer and sparkling nights.

...
i taste
like smoke
like the seven hours i’ve spent
lying on my living room floor
awake
listening to traffic.

i smell
like smoke
like a pack a day in the heat and rain
inhaling something
intangible.

you are
fresh air
breathing hope into my lungs
lifting me off of the rental home brown
carpet
 Jul 2013 Jesse Belcher
Kassel D
i gather silence
in fields of snow
buried beneath
a sea of hard pressed lips
disapproving and chapped
from unfeeling kisses
red as blood
those lips of betrayal
yet i continue to drink the poison
for i have grown immune
for it is something i created
to keep away the pain
my drug
my addiction
they make me feel alive
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