They sang let it be,
we didn't even know what it meant.
It means Amen! on the highest,
glory be to them,
who pray for their heart's desires
who go big, who expect to win.
Because Jesus is watching on the sidelines
hoping you say those simple words
that let Him in.
See, the God up above us cares less about your sin-
He wants to bless you! Wants to grow you!
Wants to flood you with Joy from within.
See- as you have believed
He will let it be!
That is why the faith sized as small as a mustard seed,
is all you really need.

I ask you, God, to never let me know
the dark side of myself again, like I once did.
Before I knew who You were God,
I didn't know who I was.
I didn't know what love meant.
Having everyone who ever said, "I love you"
leaving me, like a tornado leaves behind a building,
all of its metal more
jagged and sharply bent.

But I know, my God, Your beauty now
and I can discern why
I had to be so sharp,
so hard at heart.
Because had You given me
all the wonders I behold now,
I wouldn't have known
the first thing about
what to do with my part.
I wouldn't have searched the world so hard
for such a great love, I would have
stopped short in seeking Your heart.

You made me into a little girl
so terribly in need of a Savior.
And I searched
the whole world,
tasting this, trying that...
but never ending up
truly in love with the flavor.

My God, You loved me so much
Your only son died.
And I cried my eyes out
thinking,"Why did I
have to go through so much?"
My God, forgive me of my pride
and my misplaced anger. That just as
you held Jesus, while a spear pierced His side
I was never in any real danger.
You had already decided He would die
when He first lied upon the manager.
Just like I had decided I would
try and do anything
to feel anything
even if it was
**uncontrollable anger.

If ours was a story
that could be told differently
Darling, might I tell you
what I would do?

Change every setting,
every scene that's upsetting
and replace it with something
good and brand new.
Because yours is a story
I never let you tell
for fear of
what that might do.

But now I know different,
I know who I am
and what it is I see in you.
A star that's on fire
and beautifully grand,
and there's nothing that you
couldn't do.

I'd paint you a picture
of purpose and plans
and give you
the bright,
shining moon.

So that when you
close your eyes,
and there I am
I weaved only
warmth and good
memories inside of
*you.

It doesn't feel great,
when I am greeted by nothing.
By silence.
Indifference...
Am I even here?

It doesn't feel great
thinking about all the times
I could have loved you
as fiercely and as longingly as
I do now,
but I chose hate instead.
I chose ugliness.
I chose to treat you not as a gift,
but as a burden.
Wow...
No, none of that feels great.
And though I know nothing can be changed.
Though I know I am not to live with regret
and shame.
It still hurts,
when you're the person I want to call
to share my happiness with
to share in the fruitful time I am walking through...
alone,
but I can't.

No...it doesn't feel great...

I never finish anything...
like
that sentence
or my
repentance
or forgiveness,
because I could always find another reason to
be cold.

I don't finish stories,
I don't finish jobs,
and
I won't finish getting old.

Life took me for a  
ride
I admitted that and never
lied.

Blindly,
I arrived.
Letting go of what I had not finished,
into the tide.

The best advice I can give,
and you might hope to find
Is never make someone the main part of your life
if they act without you in mind.
Never give of yourself too freely,
because you will find
in time.
They'll take just as freely,
and they'll leave feeling just as fine.

Fear knows no home
Inside this vessel.
I struggle to not run,
In any of life's levels.
I am no longer scared of the one,
but of everyone else.
Somebody tell me how to help the world,
when the ones who have hurt me
are the same ones who need my help.

They thought I was cruel
they thought I was bad.
They just hadn't been through,
everything that I had.
So I am asking you,
before you assume,
do you really know that?

Following God some days feels like a cruel joke.
I get my head above some water...
then lose my place and begin to choke.
What is it I'm not doing?
Have I not done enough?
Or is it my heart He is pursuing,
merely a calling of my bluff.
This thought goes on to throw me,
aren't I worth more than being tested to prove
I'm tough?
Or is it because I am worth He is testing,
because I'm already enough.
It is in my heart I raise each question.
Struggling to know...
Is my God really for me?
Or like everyone else...
will He go?

I've got to let go,
more than I thought
I already was.

I have got to cross
into the unknown
because of how much I love.