I stopped writing for a while

before that I stopped drawing
before that I stopped making videos
before that I stopped crocheting
before that I stopped reading
before that I stopped something else

I'm left to wonder
if I keep stopping
when will I run out of things to stop

I stopped leaving my bed if I can help it
and I stopped caring too much about it

I stopped writing for a while
but I'm trying to start again
it's been a while since I've had a start
maybe just starting is the hardest part

striking flames with my fingertips
to burn way the pain
smoke or incense
what’s the difference
cloudy eyes
silver haze
stumbling in a drunken daze
this hallway stretches on for days
i lost my car keys
in the lounge
i’m prone to making mistakes
this feeling’s fake
i need to run
need to run
to run
run
second to none
this moment’s done
before it begins
will the rain wash away
my sins
extinguish my fire
i was always a liar
nothing is fine