I shouldn't be selfish
It seems like you need me
Just as much as I need you right now
But I can't seem to make myself
Knock down the barriers I've built
To let you in
I don't want to leave you in the rain
But the truth is
My roof is leaking
And it's just as wet inside
I keep peering at you through the fogged up window
Our eyes will meet for a second
And then I'll lose you in the seemingly endless haze
This storm has been going on for years
And for the longest time
When I would look outside
I would see nothing
Nothing but the rain
Now your eyes beckon to me
But I no longer remember where the door is
I'll stare through this window
Until you smash through it with a stone
Or until you turn away
And disappear into the woods
And leave me alone once again

There's a secret garden in my mind
Here are the keys
Dreams and nightmares lined with silver
Enter with caution, please

We walked the laurel floral covered fast lanes that were once meant for ships and planes
Lifetime friendships forged over baggage claims

Blessed to live the life live that was once only Pay-Per-View televised
Ive memorized moves made by ghosts that left me mesmerized

This is privileged private property I'll share with you not for publicity
Although this is a part of my recipe to leave a legacy
A high density dose of tranquility
Dream of me Mzanzi
Dream of me 3thirty

I think about the fact
That each of us
Has been spending these nights
Sitting in our respective bedrooms
Fighting back the monsters in our closets
Always forgetting the one under the bed
That strikes just as sleep is about to come
With a swift remembrance
Of how alone each of us feels
And how hollow
I feel like we might make a good team
Like maybe together we could banish the demons
You get the closet, I'll check under the bed
Maybe we might finally get some rest
I'm so tired

The knowledge that you're hurting
Sits like an ember in my ribcage
Slowly simmering away
Next to vital organs
I try to douse it with tears
But it looks like I'm crying gasoline

I feel the emptiness
Where your body would fit next to mine
And suddenly I feel very small and alone
Lost in a space that is too big for me
This wasn't meant for a single person
I'm trying so hard to fill up this void
With patches and cleverly placed knick knacks
But the hole is still very visible
If I were to consult a real estate agent
They would advise me to fill it in
Pretend it was never there
Make the space more appealing
So that others may find it pleasant
I don't think I could bring myself to close it
I still have hope that one day
I won't have to worry about bad weather
Or drafts coming inside
Because the emptiness will be filled
And not by spackle and new paint
But with strong arms and a beating heart

Though I'm empty when you go
*I just wanted you to know

I am the planets we can’t get to
and you are the entire earth;
vast, beautiful, and a little bit neglected.
I am the alien spaceships that fly over
our country to observe, but never make contact.
I am hidden in the far corners of the universe
and I don’t know how to reach you in a way
that you’d want me to stay.

I always associated tears
With strong emotions
People cry when they are
Sad
        Frustrated
                            Angry
                                        Happy

But right now I feel nothing
And I think these tears must be confused
Because I'm devoid of strong emotions
I'm just hollow

                                                                                                  …and slightly wet