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 Mar 2014 JSK
LF
End of the line
 Mar 2014 JSK
LF
I stood in our closet
For what felt like 100 years
Talking myself out of staying
And holding back my tears.

I couldnt form a single thought;
Felt like part of me had died,
I was the one who gave and gave
The only one who had tried.

Shaking hands , hollow heart,
And nothing left to say.
Pack our memories in a box
And ill be on my way.

Anger and sadness fill my heart
And now im just feeling lost ,
Love can be a dangerous thing
And my heart is the cost .
 Mar 2014 JSK
Turquoise Mist
Freedom
 Mar 2014 JSK
Turquoise Mist
They are sneaking out
Quick
Stop them
Come on
Can't you hear me?
My urgency?
Please, this is an
Emergency

I have spent years
Building up these
Flood gates
Miles high
They stand
Miles long
They run
Strong
Sturdy
Unable to be penetrated

But there is one thing in life I've learned
Nothing in this world is completely
Unbreakable

I have a feeling
These walls are going to
Fail me
The corners of my eyes are done
Fighting
The wave is coming
It just a matter of time

These walls are
Straining
Creaking
Bulging
Under the weight of this
Water
And then it happens
They cave
And then
They break
Fully split
These walls lay on the ground
Blasted down
Thoroughly defeated
And the water rushes over, across
Trampling any chance of recovery
Nothing can stop this water now
It streams from my eyes
Hot and heavy
It rolls
Leaving tracks down my cheeks
Marking its territory
Carving its way down a path not-so traveled
And suddenly
This water
It slams into my side
Almost knocking me over
I realize
Never have I let go
So completely
Before
I have let the water well up
Sure
But never have the corners allowed
Escape
I have let the water creep into my voice
My body
But never have I really
Released it

All of the sudden
It makes sense
The reason this feels so right
For with the fall of each rain drop
A moment of
Pain
Anger
Fear
Disintegrates

This water is crashing down
With no signs of reprieve and
Your arms are around me
Embracing me
Trapping me
In your love
Unconditional love
Love that,
No matter what I do
No matter what happens to me,
Will never abandon me
I am ensnared
In this love
Held down
Held together
By your arms
Yet
I feel so light
I might just float away
Never
Have I felt

**So free
 Mar 2014 JSK
A B Perales
He laid in the sun
    like he ruled the earth,
    he held onto the
wine bottle
     with a hand heavily scared
      with the marks
of suffering.

    He toasted the
sea and the surf,
    cursed the
gulls and the gnats.

     Then brought the bottle
to his dried and
cracked
lips and drank
as if the
    last grape
     of the world had
let its blood
     into his bottle.

     He laughed at
a memory
     then yelled at
the sun and
       everyone around
him was a peasant.

    His lips bled red
as he gulped mouth
fulls of wine.
The memory of
her along this very beach
caused his inner
rage to drum forth.

     He gripped handfuls
of sand as he silently
Dammed the serpents
all to Hell.

  He mumbled drunken
thanks to
    Minerva, Osiris, Hera
     and Anu.

      The shadowed world
looked down upon him
     and the feral cats adored him.
     He lived like true royalty,
drunk and alone.

Care free and forgotten
he had become once
he had awoke to it all.
Ridiculed and labeled CRAZY
for his ability to see
it all for what it really
was,for what it really
still is.

She left this page
on a Saturday as he
slept on a chair
beside her hospital bed.
He buried her
on a Tuesday,
then set about to
drinking.

He broke free
of it all,
detached himself
from this farce
and
set about to wonder.
Now free of the
pollution they call society,
he waited only
on the next life,
on that next page.

Where she had promised him
they'd meet again...
 Mar 2014 JSK
Brianne
Painting
 Mar 2014 JSK
Brianne
I looked at you like an empty house-
With eyes of smashed glass and lungs made of empty window frames.
You made me feel new.
Applied a fresh coat of paint,
Beautiful and chip free.
But all you did was cover the old,
Cracking foundation.

If I was beautiful,
Then it's true that beauty is only skin deep.
Maybe I could be pretty inside too,
Except you never tried to paint those parts of me-
You never explored deeper than my body.

You roamed my curves like bends in a road,
The dips of my collarbones and hips becoming your home.
You were never one to drive carefully,
But you always managed to avoid me.

You ran at the first sign of a flaw,
Leaving me with some peeling paint and a flood to drown myself in.
 Mar 2014 JSK
witchy woman
I've painted these walls a million times
I drove so far, to see these lights
the only thing I wanted
was with you.

Well, I've packed my bags
yeah I'll be fine
I've made some calls
and said goodbye.

I've been sleeping with the lights on baby
I know, it drives you crazy
but tonight
I swear we'll be alone

I'm writing down
your favourite things
to show you that
I've read through your letters again

As pages fall
my heart falls too
you cross your t's and dot your i's
I'm not saying goodbye
old song
 Mar 2014 JSK
Turquoise Mist
Hope
 Mar 2014 JSK
Turquoise Mist
When the sun goes down and the fears begin to fly
My poisoned thoughts pollute my mind
Telling me I can't do it
Anymore
Leading my hands to
Grasp
Hungry and desperate
For that cold, shiny piece of metal
I hear the whispers of the devil
Soft and comforting against my ear
Encouraging my movements
Taunting me
And the second it touches my palm
I am more in control
This metal has tamed me
Just holding it in my hand makes it better
But the whispers are not satisfied
Oh no, they intensify
Cut
They say
Cut
They scream
And I am close
So close
But I hold on
I hold out
My fingers curl around each other
Forming fists
My nails dig into my flesh
I squeeze my eyes shut
And I sing

Hold on tight this city's about to break*
More God?
Really?
Why?
Please no more
Please
His hands wrap around my wrists
His knees push down
Pinning me
Like an animal
Stretched out on a board
Ready to be dissected
And everything that is
Everything that was
Strong
In me
Disappears

Hope sweet hope how much more can she take
My shoulders shake
My spine stiffens
All over
My body is trembling
From the stress
Of holding it all
Together
From the weight of
Fear
Anger
Confusion
Expectations
Hurt
It's crushing me
I don't know what to do
So I cling
To the one thing I know is true

The glimmering light in the corner of a broken sky
I see it
And I lunge towards it
I can't run
I don't have it in me
But I stagger and stumble
And slowly
I make my way
Through Him
To Him
It's the only thing I know to do
I want to cover myself in this light
In this life
It's bright and warm and
So unlike the things I've come to know
To expect
For this glimmer is the only thing
Keeping me in this game
The only thing
Breathing air into my collapsed lungs
The only thing
Pumping blood into my mangled heart

In the cold, dark night
She's not giving
Not giving up
Because this glimmer has done something,
Something that nothing else has ever accomplished
This glimmer has halted
The thoughts
The memories
The pain
The blade
And reminded me of
The love

The light may be dim
But it's there

That's all I need
The italicized words are pieces of the lyrics from the song "Hope" by Remedy Drive, a wonderful band whose music means so, so much to me.
 Mar 2014 JSK
A B Perales
This something of
a doctor once
asked me to
write a list.
He leaned back
in his squeaking,
worn leather
chair.
Entwined his fingers
behind
his greasy
half balding head.
Exposing the
wet stains on the
arm pits of
his creased button
shirt as if they weren't
there.

He thought he was so
smart ,so superior
with his framed
accomplishments
littered all
over his institutional
colored office walls.


I sat across from
him degreeless and
self educated,
therefore a failure
in this sham of a
world they have
created.

He thought
I was dumb with my
crude prison tattoos,
police record
and noticeable
stammer.

I took hold of the
sharpened number 2
and for the briefest of moments
seriously considered
jamming the lead filled
pencil deep into his
razor burned neck.

I stared at the
yellowing
stains beneath his
flabby arms
and couldn't help but smile.
I smiled as I put
point to paper
and began to write
his stupid list.

There's a pistol hungry
for vengeance and heavy in my
pocket urging me forth.
A lazy monkey
who insists I carry
it's burden.
A mind so full of
tragedies that
even nightmares
steer clear.

A broken heart that
needs to stay broken.
Shattered hopes that
refuse to dream.
Tattoos that have forgotten
their meanings.
Junkies who need
their junk.

Death raiding ravens
circling overhead.
A black cat
who saved my life
more than once.
A girl I love
who will never
love me.
******* doctors
with **** smelling arm pits.
Bad kids who know they're
bad.

Stray dogs in search
of a home.
Dead minds cheering
for ball chasing men.
Working men
who know nothing
of the world but
work.


Broke and addicted
writers looking for
a casket to rest in.
An empty grave
that longs
to be filled.

That letter I wrote and
still haven't sent.
And a date with
a dealer
therefore this   
list is
now done.
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