The screaming gears
bones exploding
organs ruptured
fluids running

The ******* Virus
also known as Cranial Rectitis
be careful out there in the world
the ******* virus around us swirls.

It makes you ask and do stupid things
not you, but other people feel the sting
it makes you need to be babysat
other people can’t stand that.

It’s infectious and it’s spreading
everyone has been exposed I’m dreading
in some of us it sits dormant in our brain
out of nowhere or under strain
your job or life you can not contain.

Other people have it chronic
might as well have the plague bubonic
these people can never take care of anything
they can't even follow a path of string.

Ask dumb questions, can't do their job
basically they are a worthless blob
cannot make a call or use email
just gives everyone 6 kinds of hell.

They understand nothing and what’s worse
it makes the people around them curse
sadly there is no definite cure
no way to make one’s self be pure.

The best you can hope for is a bit of a lull
KY jelly around your neck and PULL
with a pop Cranial Rectitis cured
by this time people want you skewered.

Sadly the cure never lasts
and you devolve, just like the past
wearing protection does no good
it is not transmitted by wood
or fluids, or plastic or glass
it’s caused when your own head goes up your ***.

Odes to Coffee, a Haiku, a Limerick, and a Verse

Coffee, Coffee Nod
Coffee, Coffee, Coffee Yawn
One cup down, talk now

Coffee, coffee, coffee
Coffee, Coffee, coffee
Everyone shut up
Please refill my cup
Coffee, Coffee, Coffee

Coffee, Coffee yay
Coffee, Coffee hey
Let me take a drink to jumpstart my day
Off to work we go to earn some needed pay
Be a real man and drink it black
Or make it all fancy and catch some flack

Portobello mushrooms, I use them all the time
No matter how topped they always taste just fine
From cream cheese and crab to chicken fajita
No matter what you just want to eat ‘em

Philly beef cheesesteak, they’ve also been topped
So many possibilities, I’ll never stop
Bleu cheese and steak makes a hell of a filling
Portobello themed restaurant, I’d make a killing

Chicken Alfredo, or coconut shrimp
How about spinach artichoke dip
Turkey and dressing or how about pulled pork
You’d want to eat those with your fingers or fork

Taco, or nacho, or enchilada
How it gets better, I got zip, zilch, and nada
Or I don’t know how about spinach frittata
You could go Greek, lamb, feta, and Kalamata

Mediterranean, flavored quinoa or couscous
So many options, man just turn me loose
Lemon pepper, scallops, or Oyster Rockefeller
Or Chicken Rice saffron, it would be yeller

At this point, I feel like Bubba from Forrest Gump
Going on about toppings, oh well over the ****
Buffalo Chicken or Asparagus turkey parm
Just about anything you can get at the farm

Goes great on a mushroom I think you can see
Most people wouldn’t, but, hey they’re just not me

Volunteering is hard to do
especially when you are under view
of other parents who never help
but nonetheless, you help their whelp.

Along with your child as well
to do whatever sport or activity swell
you work hard and give your time
you may even hurt your spine.

Raking, shoveling, loading, and moving
so your kid and others can play ball or shooting
baseball, football, Softball, soccer
dancing, cheering so many a blur.

Volunteers up late at night making plans
hauling equipment around in vans
writing schedules is a pain
and no matter what somebody’ll complain.

Have a meeting same folks there
those same people are all that care
it seems every year other parents just complain
they do not care to share our pain.

And come help and make it better
but they are the first ones to write a letter
to the paper or our group
telling us that our work is ****.

Or worse words often times
they act as if we committed a crime
against them or their kids
but without us, the programs would be on the skids.

With no one else to help us out,
we do our best without a doubt
are there people who do wrong?
stacking teams so they are strong.

Yes some, but not all organizations are that way
some just want the kids to play
and be the best they possibly can
but all we hear from the stands.

Is negativity all the time
those people didn’t even offer a dime
if you coach or administrate
a league or work the gate.

Or even in the concession stand
I believe you deserve a hand.
if you do not like how some things run
then volunteer and have some fun.

You might learn why some things are
be willing to help and you’ll go far
in making the groups run better
just by being a go getter.

Offer new opinions and you will see
most groups will listen willingly
so come in with an open mind
make some suggestions and you will find.

Outsiders are welcome to the pack
help keep our group on track
to meet kids needs no matter what
straight complaining matters not.

So be an aider
not a complainer
volunteer some time
and you will find.

That the people you often hate
just need help to administrate
those people may become your friends
it’s on you to make amends.

When I left it was sunny and blue,
90 miles later a blizzard I drove into,
from a warm 77 degrees,
to a 32 degree northern breeze.

Blowing snow and building ice,
slipping and sliding is not nice,
heater running on full blast,
driving slow going nowhere fast.

Then clears up and blows away,
we take off and think ok,
but down the road, it starts once more,
the weather wins, plus one score.

There is no truth and no transparency,
I’m beginning to believe every conspiracy,
about our government, it is full of lies,
not even including the foreign spies.

From the top to the bottom, every occupant,
lying and cheating, running rampant,
not an honest one is included in the bunch,
they would like to enslave us is my hunch.

Figuring out how to not pay their bill,
and making regulations so everything is uphill,
the Fed just keeps printing money, though it’s worthless,
we just keep on borrowing it as well though mirthless.

To control our thoughts and what we do,
whether we smoke and what we chew,
nothing is off limits anymore,
they raid us, without even a knock on the door.

Deny us our liberty, constitution destroyed,
how can they even continue to be employed?
by We the People, make no excuse,
we elected them so I guess take the abuse.

Common sense has died and withered away,
political correctness is the rule of the day,
add in Muslim jihadist and all of their ire,
it’s like throwing gas on a funeral pyre.

A repeat of the 60s and Civil Rights,
de ja vu, though it continues to fight,
Russia has brought back the cold war,
Obama never even answered the door.

With Crimea and Ukraine and Syria,
no to mention the Yemen, Somalia and North Korea,
Iran and Iraq and Afghanistan,
too many problems to be manageably ran.

Antibiotics not working on bugs anymore,
the end of the era, and of what’s core,
attacks in Paris and Mali, soon where else,
I suggest strapping your pistol tight to your belts.

But that offends too, in fact, it is booed,
let in all refugees, so we are *******,
not all of them are bad, most probably good,
but it only takes one, just ask folks from Fort Hood.

I don’t have the answers, and I do not pray
God gave us a brain to make it go our way
but we must sleep in the bed which made
it’s like watching one hopeless parade

find good where you can and take care of your friends
and family, as what we know comes to an end.
the state of the world should cause some fear
so try to sit back and relax and enjoy a beer.