What is this
What is that
What is anything
Why am I here
Why are you here
Why is anything, *anything

I want to write poetry
But
What am I to write about?

I could tell you about
The horse I had at 3
That my parents sold at 4,

Or the Taco Bell up the street
That was closed
For selling drugs out the back window,

Or even the time
That my dad crushed an ant
Into our old cement patio
And tears sprang to my eyes because
I was sure that the ant had a family somewhere
Who would expect him home any minute.

But those aren’t very pleasant things
And I’m not able to make rhymes,

So I am forced to face the truth
That maybe
I am not a very pleasant person.

you are not very fond
of my numerous speeches
about how I wake up
and gaze at you in your sleep
about me pouring my
whole being to you
while you fiddled with my hair
how you listened
how you stared
but I will let you know
that I am in love with
the rare times
you truly speak to me
on a monday dawn
when your words
are as timed
as the beating
in my chest.
                          *p.t.

i know where to find ghosts
just take my hand, and we can go where bubbles
never burst

where the sun hits particles of dust

where cars in rain
and streetlamps have those bursts of light that
extend farther than the bulb

dandelion fields, clubs where singles know how
to make hearts with cigarette smoke

where holes are carved in dirt that has never
been caressed, where
bruises go

when they are no longer on your skin

because i know about
searching for what is left of the dead with fingers
cupped like a shovel, knowing
you were the last thing they ever touched

well,
they're not just in the ground
ghosts are somewhere in the air i promise.

i like my women
like i like my
life:  crazy
as **** and
under siege.

i am not satisfied
until that woman has
to put her drink down
because she needs
her whole body to
hate me.

i won't gamble with
anything except my life.
A real man plays
Russian Roulette by
handing the woman the
one bullet,
and using the other
five himself.
On himself.

it is better odds
of survival for the man.

Yesterday was a failure
I couldn’t manage to cast our demons away
at once
You still think of me like a judge would?
I do not think it’s fair but it’s not unfair
at all
You could have been mine without a single gasp
You could just be the star that illuminates my
ego at night, while I try to bury
deep within myself
all those dreadful things
you’ve yelled at me once
but with the tranquility of a black wave
breaking upon my head
and spinning my thoughts around
and around and around
and I have chills only by thinking that
I could never get enough of
you at
all.

Just for a while,  stay beside me.
Beside me to make me happy
Happy enough to forget my envy
Envy in my heart so hard to carry.

Just for a while, don’t walk away
Don’t ignore these feelings I can’t say
Maybe I can’t get the chance everyday
I will still care even it hurts, come what may.

Just for a while, please close your eyes
I just want to feel the fake paradise
Wanting to let go of my feelings in disguise
Before I utter my broken goodbyes