I'm in a stagnant place
Stuck on autopilot
Don't even recognize my face
Always reserved, always quiet

I feel very alone
Even with family & friends
I am always prone
To feel like I'm at my end

Every day is not new
No motivation, just doubt
An endless cycle of devalue
All I ever do is space out

I get drunk and high
To try & escape this reality
But all I do is ask why
Not even drugs are enough for me

I wonder when this will leave
And when I'll feel normal
I don't think I'll ever believe
That I'll feel anything but mournful

I only wish to sleep all day
And stay hidden in my bed
That is the only way
To cope with these thoughts in my head

I heard you say
"I love you" tonight
For the first time in months
Lying in my bed
And pressing the recorded ghost of you
Harshly to my ear

But the memory of that grand perfection
Captured in your voicemail
Is more or less a façade
For when I could actually reply
Somehow things never seemed to go
Quite as smoothly

I almost cried tonight
Mostly out of habit

I almost said "I love you too"
Mostly...

your apartment is a glass bottle of ***** and we're drowning in the bottom of it
and the only way to save ourselves is tip the world over
and sip.

I can't handle the caffeine as it rushes through my arteries.
When you know you need to keep moving
but the taste on your tongue is bitter with
swollen memories grown to large
to shelter in the heels of your feet.
Slows you down with the weight of every jaded moment
you ever thought about the vacancy
in your own lungs
or sinking your  hands in icy water.
So maybe you're the one who's drowning,
Maybe you need a break from tracing maps with your eyes
looking for the safest route back to the banks
of the river you lost yourself in as a child.
And can you call me when you're feeling well again?
Let me know sickness is the only obstacle we have to conquer
before our world erupts into fire when we come together at the close.
With our bodies braced against the walls,
we awake into the dawn's light
where our weary bones
ache no more.
And all I needed was a cup of coffee
to keep me up
till I saw you again.

he had sad eyes,
and dusty insides,
she didn't fit,
and never wore a true smile,
the only thing to lift him up,
was the pluck of a string,
the simplest way to gain some joy,
was for her to listen to a gravelly voice
riddled with pain,
both so alike,
compatibility like no other,
but he built a barricade,
and she encased her heart with a tall,
impermeable wall.
which meant they would never collide,
and instead spent their lives in passing,
completely and utterly alien
in our little sphere
we like to call home.