For a moment
It disperse
I thought
About something beautiful
That wouldn't last forever
I didn't even grasp it
And it be gone

How quick and suspended it felt

Being told you are beautiful
Is one thing
But being told you are beautiful
And believing it
Is another

I have been called beautiful
More times than there are freckles on my face
(And that is a lot)
But not until recent
Did I ever believe it

Usually I would brush it off
And see it as an empty compliment
Or a conversation filler
Or a device used for personal gain
Any time someone would tell me I was beautiful
I wouldn't believe it
Not even a little bit
And that's the way it was for a very long time

I was too used to people leaving
Especially after I let them get close to me
And touch me
I was too used to being let down
I couldn't trust anyone but myself
And I didn't think I was beautiful
With or without anyone's truthful or deceiving opinion
I truly thought I was the farthest from beautiful

Usually when people would give me such a compliment
I would say
"No, I'm not
And you don't mean that"
Most didn't bother to argue
So I never once believed it
Until I heard you say it

At first I tried to do what I always did
But you wouldn't take no for an answer

I'm not sure if it's the way you say it
Or how many times a day you say it
Or just the fact that I trust you enough
But I really do believe you
When you tell me I'm beautiful
Hearing the words, "You are so beautiful, Evynne"
And feeling the honesty and passion pierce my heart
Is something I have never experienced before

I may not think I am as beautiful as you like to tell me I am
But at least I believe it
And when I say I believe it
I do not mean I agree
But rather, you tell me I am beautiful
And I think to myself, "You really do make me feel beautiful"
Regardless of any prior opinions I held of myself

Now that is a very powerful thing

Its a lie.
It wasn't meant for me
I thought it was
It wasn't though
and it wont be
I cant be a center of life
for anyone...
Not even myself.
Center of life..
ha!
Not even close to the center for that matter.

Contemplating the versatility of Mayo
And all that can be done with it
From the slathering on whilst sun bathing
To globbing it on my bologna sandwich

I find it tantalizing to the tastebuds
And it sure does sizzle in the sun
I once applied to much and set my toes on fire
Lucky for me I lost only one

Thank goodness I was near the water
When my foot went up in flames
I guess that's why God gives us ten toes
In case we lose any along the way

As with anything you can even get bored with Mayonnaise
That's why I strive for different ideas
So I put my brain juices into overdrive
And came up with this amazing list

Instead of milk in a shake you can use Mayo
Please wait till the end for all the applause
I'm still having trouble dealing with thickness
And have yet to get it through the straw

Perhaps if I leave out the ice cream
And just add Mayo, milk chocolate, and ice
I guess I'll just keep on experimenting
When it's ready you can be the first in line

And who doesn't like mayonnaise on anchovie pizza
The perfect combination at best
Even better than peanut butter and jelly
If only I can figure out how to package it

Mayonnaise is also the perfect conditioner
You could leave it in your hair for days I suppose
But try to avoid to much time in the sun
After all...remember the toes

I'm going back to my room for more ideas now
Or as I like to call it..."The Mayo Think Tank"
I know my family thinks I'm a genius
Cause they always leave me in there for days

What is it I'm looking for today
Something that I'm not
Something that I wish I had
Instead of what it is I've got

If I had what I admire in others
Would I be happy then
Would that bring true satisfaction
To this shell that I'm residing in

Or would it be a false worldly peace
Just enough to blind the eyes
What is true to them, to me may not be
Nor what it is I need in life

So let me take this very day
And not wish for the could but grasp the can
Not looking for what it is I want
But look to who it is I am