I’m not cool
In fact, I’m rather awkward
I’ve lived a life
So interesting
That I hide it from the world
I can’t share who I am
I hardly know what I am
Crazy
Ambidextrous
I love to lip-sync
I randomly dance about
I can’t draw at all
I can’t sing a single note
I can’t really dance
Too fat
But with a pen I can do anything
Give me an inch
I’ll give you a mile
Take my hand
And I will show you a smile
I’m not perfect
I wouldn’t want to be
I am not what was wanted
Or what was expected
I’m so deep into life
That I have no hope
A future obscured
Only what I can make for myself
Truly, it is easier this way
Not easy, but at least I know
I don’t have to wonder
if I can love
But my attachment is stronger
Too strong, too much
I hate my romantic side
I wanted a fairy tale
Too bad they were tragedies
And this is my life
It is what I’ve made it
I wanted so badly
To kiss a pair of lips
Who wanted to kiss mine
To run hands over his shoulders
Feel his fingers on my hip
Pulling me closer
Unable to let me go
I wanted a smile
That reached my eyes
I wanted to fill
What was empty inside
I didn’t need someone
I needed the love
If I could do it alone
You know I would
But I can’t
That’s why that hole is in us
So that we have to fill it
Oh tragedy!
Too much
Too late
I’m never enough
This is harsh Fate
Nothing can change
Nothing can alter
What life deems is ours
Except our hearts
They can change
When I did suffer
Was it enough?
To learn what was
In my heart?
Now this only reminds me of dreams
Moments that were lost
I could have hated dreams
Instead I ran away
Be gone, Hope!
Don’t call for me
Or bother me again
I‘ll forget these dreams
Eventually
And these thousand words
Hidden in a poem
Which will heal my heart
But Hope, you can keep that soul
I’ve no need of it
Hell is where I belong
The Devil can negotiate with you
To get it back
I’m sure He’s interested
Now I’m off
To live my life quietly
Slowly
Alone
I’ll sing in my room
But never in the shower
It sounds awful
And you may laugh
Or perhaps sigh
But this is MY life
And I will be happy
In spite of everything
I will be HAPPY
And I have so much more to say
I won’t wait anymore
No one will care to read this
I’m no artist, or poet
This poem *****, but it’s mine
And I think it’s beautiful
Honest
Strange
Without structure
Hardly unpredictable
Though you must have an open mind
To read it
It took too long
To get to the point
You got lost
You’re not even here
Then again
Were you ever?
Are any of us?
I’ve lost myself
I’ve done it so many times
I now know where to look
But maybe I don’t want to
Maybe I won’t
Perhaps I’ll go on
Lifeless
Soulless
But never heartless
No, I can feel it beating
Painful, painful beating
As though it too gave up
And now just does the motions
crying
Why did my new life
Begin when my courage failed?
I can’t live on just dreams
I can’t live a fantasy
I want a reality
I want a life lived hard
Fully
Breathlessly
So I’m going to go see you
Whoever you are
And tell you
How I feel
And then leave you be
To think about what you would have said
But you can’t say anything now
And that’s ok
I kind of deserve it
For all the hearts I’ve broken
To never know your words
I need to pass this by
But Hope needs to stop
Flagging me down
I’ll offer it the lead
Because there is really nothing I can do
Except tie up loose ends
Because I’m moving away
Going forward
I’m going on an adventure
Come if you like, friend
But I have to go
I won’t stop now
I can’t, and I shouldn’t
I will walk the miles
I will find who I want to be
Because I already have myself
I’ll take this sham of a heart
This unrequited dream
I’ll kiss this goodbye
Before I go
Just to say I did
Because I understand
That life is sometimes unfair
That dreams are born to die
Sometimes to die with us
But it never had to end this way
This is my fault
It always is
I fell
I loved
I failed
I cried
I tried
But it didn’t work
Maybe nothing works
Perhaps the truth will
But I know the truth
I won’t be surprised
I won’t expect anything
I can’t even hope
But I want to know
What it’s like
To kiss someone
Deeply, thoroughly
To hold them tightly as I do
I want to see the look in their eyes
As I say that shaken goodbye
Of all the loves
I will ever have
The one I did not take
I’ll regret the most
And it will be the only one
It’s the one love
That I didn’t have the faith
To try
I’m certainly a coward
I didn’t want to live without these things
But I have to
This is not a life
It’s a dream
I want to live with dreams
But not in a dream
I want love
With respect
Consideration
A future
I had no future here
Not really
My future is out there
It’s beyond the stars
Beyond any heartsick home
I’ve made here
Because life is full of these trials
And these errors
And sometimes it takes forever
Just like this poem
To tell us that
It’s ok to end
To begin again