Brown eyes, tinted by the sun
Tossing until the tangling is undone
Time to rise and be gracious
With faith, no entity can break us
We rise, live in our purpose
Only a few see beneath the surface
Trust and be true to yourself

Dawn begins to break
I stand at the window, awake
Tasks of the day floating in my mind
Then I feel you from behind
Holding tight, your head on my shoulder
Squeezing me like I showed her
You place your hand on my heart
The ruckus from out couldn't make us part
Smooth reversal without breaking the embrace
Holding you this way is my favorite place
From behind, in the perfect place to whisper in your ear
Inhaling your essence, sweeter than honey
How did I get so lucky

Wherever in the world you are
I truly hope you aren't far
Your safe space is warm
A place to transform
Turn off the tough exterior
The outside world is inferior
Creating a world of our own
You are no longer alone
Your throne awaits

In a world where the minds split
Falling into a fiery pit
Balancing reality and imagination
Mounting up into mounds of frustration
The world feels so heavy right now
Unsure of which way to move or how
Taking facts and drawing them out
The various changes leave in doubt
Imagination wants to play
Control feels so serious right now
Torn between what's within reach and beyond
Time to sever the bond
A battle between sadness and happiness
Most days are either-or, and some are both
The one constant is that those are the choices
There's no in-between without the voices

As the sunset drew closer, we decided to meet and give this a go
She wore the simplest dress, but it fit her so well
Her hair was to the side in a ponytail, with wavy curls to the end
The perfect shade of pink on her lips
Her eyes were brighter than the candle
Her nose had the cutest little wrinkle when she laughed
After dessert, we took a walk by the water
I held her shoes so she could dip her feet
Halfway down the path, she grabbed my hand
We stood still just for a moment
Locked eyes and kissed
I felt like I was floating
I couldn't handle the sand beneath my feet
She slowly ran her hands across my neck
Still locked in a kiss, we both opened our eyes and chuckled
We finished the night with a kiss at the door
That perfect night, I often reminisce

A year flew by
We were still riding the honeymoon phase high
We spent every day together
We make it through any kind of weather
One day, if all turned to the worst
We exchanged words and actions, reversed them
Our first fight changed everything
That was the first devastating sting
Screaming over one another
Not listening to each other
When tempers finally cool down
We realized it was over, nothing to frown
Our last fight destroyed everything
Petty jabs on both ends
We were supposed to remain friends,
Instead, we struck the devil in each of us
Throwing unnecessary blame
Igniting the treacherous flame
Crushed under the circumstances
No room for advances
A long love has gone in one conversation

The one that got away
The one I wish I had gotten to stay
She was the love of my life
The one I was going to make for my wife
I never got the chance to ask
We destroyed our love before it got a chance to flourish

Never the same
Intense
Glaring dose of reality
Havoc on the brain
Time lost
Maybe a hidden message from deep within
And anguish on the soul
Relentless sleep paralysis
Endless fright

There is a thunderstorm in my head
Flashes of lightning behind my eyes
Rumbling in my ears
Rain pouring from my nose
There is a thunderstorm in my head
Grey clouds surrounding my brain
Blood pooling in my mouth
Teeth chattering with every rumble
Tongue swimming in blood
Darkness brewing in my eyebags
Lashes falling like ****** hail
Eyelids are heavier than an overcoat
Pupils so blown
Whirling clouds have my brain in a vice
A flare of sunlight would be nice
Blood-stamped conversation
No one sees
The voices are screaming
No one hears
Cryptic sounds near and far
No one speaks
There is a thunderstorm in my head

A sudden change in the atmosphere
Goosebumps on goosebumps
Sudden rambling and flashes
Uncontrollably trembling
The sky screeching
Shades of grey
That frightening night, I remember
You must find the nearest corner
No windows insight
My eyes feel glued shut
Hums drowned out the thunder
Rocking like a rocking chair
Strike from above
Imprints the ground
No, not again, please not again
Deep breath, exhale slowly
The storm will pass

Chicken Rice Soup

2 Chicken *******
2 Cups of Rice
A stick of butter
Eight  helping hands
An empty belly


Directions:

1.)In fall weather, the calming scent could only be Grandma’s kitchen. Saturday morning, raging bellies, smooth plea, acknowledged. There's a crowded table, a full house of grandkids, and hilarious workarounds. The magic assembly starts eagerly with helping hands.

2.)Sauteed chicken is diced in the pan. Bring it to a boil, and don’t let the plan spoil. Time lapsed into a bowl, spoons all gone, no spoon, no food. Fresh bread from the oven. Everyone wants a taste; don't spoil your appetite. Calm over the room, everyone enjoyed a hot serving of Grandma’s Chicken Rice Soup.

Sunday- Eerie calm, conflicted resolve, evolution set forth, accomplishment succeeded

Monday- Empty spaces, glances missed, healing slowly

Tuesday- Numb and hollow, discouraged and drenched in disbelief

Wednesday- Stormy weather, tsunami rises, unsettling calm at heart

Thursday- Nostalgia brewing, focus on 1000, mind settled

Friday-General calm, tickle me, intrigued

Saturday- Empty spaces stand, swallowed by sadness, but thrive in this world

A master plan has been laid out for the future
And you’re still at the bottom of the totem
Reaching three decades on this earth
Wondering what it's morphed into
Going for the *** of gold at the end of the rainbow
Letting positivity bleed through me into this pen until it runs on empty
Striving to succeed over greed
I am triumphant
Take a breath so my lungs can breathe
Taking in the fresh summer breeze
Running out of time
Mind racing, the soul is fading into the dark
Heart beating in a rhythm so relentless
Hoping my mind stops before I indirectly spill your ***** deeds
Buried deep in my mind, circling the drain
Cutting you like a switchblade, memories of you fade
I am triumphant
I have been stepped on and hated on, but I still kept my dreams alive
To me, it’s not about the money and the fame
It’s about self-expression, knowing how to speak your mind
Our lives are intertwined by design
Do you think it’s time to be a better version of yourself
Trends and fads come and go, but you remain an empty canvas
Create your path and be a trendsetter
Shocked by love, scorned by terror
She has risen above and let a love so true heal her wounds
Now she sits back, more in love than ever before
She is no longer forsaken, for she is now a wise woman in love and has turned sorrow into strength
Cherishing the love she has found in her

Fighting through life to change my view of the world
That has become cold and blind to me
I'm stronger than I was
Shaming me for the lifestyle that I chose
Almost 30 years fighting the same fight for my right to be who I am
Taking on the depression demons below the surface
Feel left out in this cold world of black sheep
This is a tale of a soul so far gone into depression and anger
All these pills just make me numb, millions of doctor visits
It all started in late 1994 and has progressed virtually every year
After I felt so cold, I couldn't even cry anymore
Tear ducts are drier than the Sahara
I close my eyes, and all I see is pain and horror
All I'm asking is for some light to show me the way
Stronger than I was
The game got hold of me
I can't let my mind be free
Never know the mayhem it might unleash
The anticipation of the way it'll all turn out
Most years went by all the same
No change in my convictions
Home life was a drag, and school was an escape
I spent many years numb; putting on fake smiles kept it all inside
No longer looking for validation
I raise my voice to the north, rosary in hand
Speaking to the one who's cared for me all along
Restoring my faith is my only way out
Stronger than I was
My only way out
Stronger than I was

You never know when the clock expires
Live  far beyond the wealth and desires
My soul bleeds fire
Drama raises the pressure higher
Looking at this world blind
Loyalty is hard to find
Pain drips from a double-edged sword
Praying and falling short with the lord
Playing the same sick scenario
Wondering if the clocks are ready to expire
You never know
You may never know
But the Lord knows
Because he did sow
And made sure those seeds didn't blow
Away with the wind
Yet you feel so undisciplined
Like all you'll ever do is  sin
Like, maybe you just can't win
But that's not true
Your world isn't so blue
You can live your life brand new
You'll never know
Missing that gentle voice of comfort
Thinking, really, what's my life worth
The glorified crusade has gone wild
Bleeding through the seams
Life is flashing by too fast
Fight with my heart and soul to last
Lights piercing through me like high beams
You never know
Why do things fall the way they do
The one true life independence is through total transcendence

I no longer felt alone
A new light you've shown
You broke my boulder into pieces
I now know what peace is

A still that becomes invigorating
No more time wasted contemplating
A new lease on life
Onto bigger and better, the highlife

Time is the only constant
The only irreplaceable
Energy is filtered and recycled
Perception falls to fate

Vibration of the correspondent
Convinced it's embraceable
Claim to want true but fall into being entitled
False facades are the bait

The rage behind my eyes
As I sit silently
Oh, no word to the wise
Urge to swing violently
Seeing through the lies
My freedom, I won't compromise

The hands of time have...
Taken my innocence
A call from heaven
My heart shattered and turned cold
Pain has become limitless
It started when I was seven
Every call of the worst, I detached
Numb to a degree unmatched
Had to stand tall and never fold
Rebuilt from mangled pieces
Still looking for what peace is
I became my anchor

Lost in the nightmares
Many days blurred together, nowhere to turn
Your soul begins to burn
A sea of thoughts pulling in every direction
Spreading through you like an infection
Choosing to breathe breaks the norm
Waking from the brainstorm
Tuning out the screaming demons
Turmoil lasting more than seasons
On the verge of giving in a whisper
A sliver of light, a spirit lifter
Ten toes down, back straight
Up for a clean slate
Pick your head up, eyes open
Lost in the nightmares
False sense of security
Feeling the air's purity
The moment you think you awake
You feel fingers on your skin like a snake
Shaking yourself, a grip you can't break
Your bones begin to ache
Muscles twitch under pressure
No more lost treasure
The demons came into play
Your mind wishes to slay
You drop to your knees and pray
Lost in the nightmares
Bloodshot eyes with waves ready to crash
Heart beating to the sound of the splash
Life goes by in a flash
Blood is pouring out like rain
Gritting teeth to endure the pain
I glanced down at the reflection in the puddle
It smiles back with a chuckle
You feel pressure on your shoulder
Catch a glimpse of the boulder
Lost in the nightmares
Too much pain to bear
Every time you think you are awake
Outstretched arms begin to ache
Wobbly legs under each stuttering step
Every pulse through your veins is like dubstep
Heart racing too fast to catch your breath
You can't make a sound with the boulder on your cords
A creek grows louder on the floorboards
Drawing near are shadows, too many to count
The pressure begins to mount
You rise from your knees
Bolt towards the breeze
Finally,  you are free

Moments of weakness happen to us all
For I am only human
Inner demons are real
They hid and waited
For I am only human
Poking and reminding you of the faults, those which are clear and those that have faded
For I am only human
Pain is a gateway, and the hurt is the door
Tears become the vice, cutting off air
For I am in despair, I am only human
Guilt is the enemy, and you must go toe to toe with it and prevail
It may seem like a battle all your own
Hindsight steals the love you need to fuel up
For I am only human
Pressure mounts, and it becomes hard to decipher reality from fiction
The gas tank is empty, and I am not sure where to turn
Each breath is weaker and weaker
Memories flash before your eyes
You have failed at one point or another
For I am only human
Judgment is clouded, fueled by the liquid bully
Torn and disturbed, wondering if it's worth it
Shortcomings become thorns ripping away at the flesh that has no more feeling
Clarity becomes distant and out of reach
It seems impossible to look forward
For I am only human
I,
Hurt
Cry
Bleed
Fail
Ignore
Disguise
Fall
Destroy
Trust
L­earn
Defeat
For I am only human