Never the same
Intense
Glaring dose of reality
Havoc on the brain
Time lost
Maybe a hidden message from deep within
And anguish on the soul
Relentless sleep paralysis
Endless fright

There is a thunderstorm in my head
Flashes of lightning behind my eyes
Rumbling in my ears
Rain pouring from my nose
There is a thunderstorm in my head
Grey clouds surrounding my brain
Blood pooling in my mouth
Teeth chattering with every rumble
Tongue swimming in blood
Darkness brewing in my eyebags
Lashes falling like ****** hail
Eyelids are heavier than an overcoat
Pupils so blown
Whirling clouds have my brain in a vice
A flare of sunlight would be nice
Blood-stamped conversation
No one sees
The voices are screaming
No one hears
Cryptic sounds near and far
No one speaks
There is a thunderstorm in my head

A sudden change in the atmosphere
Goosebumps on goosebumps
Sudden rambling and flashes
Uncontrollably trembling
The sky screeching
Shades of grey
That frightening night, I remember
You must find the nearest corner
No windows insight
My eyes feel glued shut
Hums drowned out the thunder
Rocking like a rocking chair
Strike from above
Imprints the ground
No, not again, please not again
Deep breath, exhale slowly
The storm will pass

Chicken Rice Soup

2 Chicken *******
2 Cups of Rice
A stick of butter
Eight  helping hands
An empty belly


Directions:

1.)In fall weather, the calming scent could only be Grandma’s kitchen. Saturday morning, raging bellies, smooth plea, acknowledged. There's a crowded table, a full house of grandkids, and hilarious workarounds. The magic assembly starts eagerly with helping hands.

2.)Sauteed chicken is diced in the pan. Bring it to a boil, and don’t let the plan spoil. Time lapsed into a bowl, spoons all gone, no spoon, no food. Fresh bread from the oven. Everyone wants a taste; don't spoil your appetite. Calm over the room, everyone enjoyed a hot serving of Grandma’s Chicken Rice Soup.

Sunday- Eerie calm, conflicted resolve, evolution set forth, accomplishment succeeded

Monday- Empty spaces, glances missed, healing slowly

Tuesday- Numb and hollow, discouraged and drenched in disbelief

Wednesday- Stormy weather, tsunami rises, unsettling calm at heart

Thursday- Nostalgia brewing, focus on 1000, mind settled

Friday-General calm, tickle me, intrigued

Saturday- Empty spaces stand, swallowed by sadness, but thrive in this world

A master plan has been laid out for the future
And you’re still at the bottom of the totem
Reaching three decades on this earth
Wondering what it's morphed into
Going for the *** of gold at the end of the rainbow
Letting positivity bleed through me into this pen until it runs on empty
Striving to succeed over greed
I am triumphant
Take a breath so my lungs can breathe
Taking in the fresh summer breeze
Running out of time
Mind racing, the soul is fading into the dark
Heart beating in a rhythm so relentless
Hoping my mind stops before I indirectly spill your ***** deeds
Buried deep in my mind, circling the drain
Cutting you like a switchblade, memories of you fade
I am triumphant
I have been stepped on and hated on, but I still kept my dreams alive
To me, it’s not about the money and the fame
It’s about self-expression, knowing how to speak your mind
Our lives are intertwined by design
Do you think it’s time to be a better version of yourself
Trends and fads come and go, but you remain an empty canvas
Create your path and be a trendsetter
Shocked by love, scorned by terror
She has risen above and let a love so true heal her wounds
Now she sits back, more in love than ever before
She is no longer forsaken, for she is now a wise woman in love and has turned sorrow into strength
Cherishing the love she has found in her

Fighting through life to change my view of the world
That has become cold and blind to me
I'm stronger than I was
Shaming me for the lifestyle that I chose
Almost 30 years fighting the same fight for my right to be who I am
Taking on the depression demons below the surface
Feel left out in this cold world of black sheep
This is a tale of a soul so far gone into depression and anger
All these pills just make me numb, millions of doctor visits
It all started in late 1994 and has progressed virtually every year
After I felt so cold, I couldn't even cry anymore
Tear ducts are drier than the Sahara
I close my eyes, and all I see is pain and horror
All I'm asking is for some light to show me the way
Stronger than I was
The game got hold of me
I can't let my mind be free
Never know the mayhem it might unleash
The anticipation of the way it'll all turn out
Most years went by all the same
No change in my convictions
Home life was a drag, and school was an escape
I spent many years numb; putting on fake smiles kept it all inside
No longer looking for validation
I raise my voice to the north, rosary in hand
Speaking to the one who's cared for me all along
Restoring my faith is my only way out
Stronger than I was
My only way out
Stronger than I was