Am I doomed to become like her
A distant cold shell of a woman
Who seems like a ghost that no one can put to rest
Hardened over time of being misunderstood

Or will I grow up like him
Angry at the innocent people who cross my path
Self absorbed and manipulative
Someone who people avoid when they're out in public

Better yet will I find myself in the middle
Angry and hostile
Cold and detached
But twice as alone

The ability to wake up and remember to brush my teeth, brush my hair, wash my face
The ability to remember to shower on a daily basis and actually wash my body instead of staring off into space
The luxury of eating 3 full meals a day and enjoying my appearance
The sinful self indulgence of allowing *** to be purely for pleasure and nothing else
The comfort of being able to go out in public in large crowds and manage to keep my head on my shoulders
The delight of being able to communicate clearly what I desire and need from other people

*What an extravagant life that would be, if only I were not born as me

No one is to blame for the way I hated myself
No one is to blame for how lonely I felt even when surrounded by people
I did this to myself and if I fail I don't want to discuss why
Because nothing will change
The world will still revolve
I will still be void of what I want

I fall for every heart I come into contact with
Acknowledging that they may not return the favor
But accepting that as my penance
For being a sensitive abyss of sadness