as i finally swim back up
from holding
my breath underwater
for so long,

i say goodbye
to
regret,
sadness,
pain,
and suffering.

i feel the sun’s
warm kiss upon my
cold, soaked up skin.

as i breathe my first air
after a long time,

i say hello
to
beginnings,
happiness,
healing,

and the beauty
of life.

we were going towards somewhere,

i don’t know for how long or how far,

i just know we’re moving.

unlike before, where i only get hitched by

somebody else in their passenger seat

— not knowing when and where i’ll be dropped off,
loving its mystery;
the excitement —

i’m actually driving this time.
and you’re riding your own too.

we’re driving side by side.

either one of us could go ahead,

but we moved in one pace.

where will we go?

i don’t know.

i puff a cigarette.

like the plants

in my garden:

i breathe,

i live,

i exist.

i let the people who

pass by

admire me.

i grow slowly.

i climb quietly.

wait for me to bloom.

it’s funny
how i keep on searching
for the way
to unlock
my creativity,

turns out
that the
key
to it
was
a shard of my broken heart.

should i keep holding
onto that piece,
leaving my heart
with a little hole?

to keep writing?

to keep expressing?

will this be an addiction?

will i have to
keep breaking
to get more of myself?

or
am i just
ignoring the fact
that my heart,
if once whole again,
if i had that piece glued back to where it should be,

will open me to more possibilities?

will my whole heart signify a greater key?

i wonder as i wander.

and just like that,
as the
warm sunlight
touches my face
slowly,
i told myself
to breathe.

you’re

      a bittersweet life lesson.

that’s all there is

to it.