Jamison Bell

Jamison Bell Feb 2023

I set a mirror at an angle in my living room. So when people ask I can say, “that’s me in the corner”.

I get a kick out of asking you questions.
It’s fun to watch you answer them.
Because you want to answer honestly.
And I’m smiling.
Because neither my questions nor your answers, matter.
It’s like asking space how far it goes.
It/you could lie to me.
It’s not like I’m ever going to know the truth.

Jamison Bell Feb 2023

I’m going to pretend your lips are lettuce and pour dressing down your face

Well I jacked her up to find that everything’s subjective.
I fingered, felt, and flicked that thing like it was a prime directive.
To get some new perspective I rolled her on her side.
It doesn’t matter where I go I’m still there so there is no where to hide.
Maybe we’re just absurdist I thought as I slid my stick within.
Perhaps it’s all just chaos, and there’s no purpose in the end.
I slowly removed her top and I put myself between her.
We tried a lil here or there and found the grass no greener.
We laughed and cursed and cried a lot because ignorance is bliss.
And as my flaccid self fell out of her I would not be remiss.
To say I pondered the inequities and tried to do my best.
Sweaty, sullen, and utterly disgusted we lied there breast to breast.
I tried **** near everything though now my heart’s departed.
so I’m leaving my Jeep here for now, maybe you can get it started.

Jamison Bell Feb 2023

I aspire to be worse than I imagine you are

In line with the whole
“life is naught but a computer simulation, the matrix is real, there is no spoon” theory.
How do I know that , while I am not special in any meaningful way, I’m not a flawed line of code and you are a patch formulated to correct my supposed flaw in order to support the overall functionability of the software needed to run this particular aspect of the matrix?
So based on this revelation, your sky blue nail polish, and the fact I’m 90% sure I banged your mom in the mop closet of an Arby’s while huffing ammonia fumes. I don’t think we should get married, today.

Jamison Bell Jan 2023

I like to order steak and then eat it all angry like. As if I’m getting revenge against the same cow that killed my family.

I take my morning walk.
Through tunnels of bleached trees. Over the remains of names long forgotten by those who promised never to forget them.
I close my eyes.
To check on the multi car pile up of words in the back of my mind. A twisted burning wreckage of things left unsaid, things I’d like to say, and things I wish I didn’t know.
It’s been going on for so long the death toll of ideas is immeasurable.
There’s nothing to do now but listen to their screams.

Jamison Bell Jan 2023

So what're doing when you're not strangling cats and going to AA meetings?

The wisteria hung like celestial waterfalls against a backdrop of splattered light. As if the sun had spilt paint across the horizon on it's way out of that day. I saw you in hues of blue standing in the rain. Strands of burnt chestnut hair clung to your cheeks like the blind hands of night had just found the most beautiful thing it'd ever touched. The moon paused and everything I once coveted fell out of thought. I saw fireflies, like fallen stars pleading their case to the heavens, flash in and out of the garden. I held this moment like my last breath for fear the sound of my sigh would break the dream.

Jamison Bell Jan 2023

If I’d known you like whiskey. I would have offered it to you. You said to give you whatever. So be quiet and eat your humus.

I never knew you, I never met you, I never saw you.
I never heard you, I never touched you, I never felt you.
And yet, somehow.
I’ll never forget you.

Jamison Bell Jan 2023

I’m not on meds personally but my albino Lebanese neighbor’s son is whack for crack.

I’ve been mired in an existential crisis for so long now, I don’t trust jelly.
It just doesn’t look right.
Bear with me here. (Barry the bubbly brown bear. See what I did there?)
What if, jelly disproves the life is a computer simulation theory?
Why would a sentient machine running a computer program to simulate life write jelly into the programming?
It wouldn’t, right?
So now that I’ve nixed that theory for y’all.
What else ya got?