It was a graveyard and overcast sky
and I sat with book and accordian in hand,
hearing the world with its screams
swallow up around me.
The people whom I had loved and lost,
Papa with his silver eyes
Mama her sharp tongue and tough love
Rudy whose hair the colour of lemons
and questioned why, the living and dead,
worlds apart, yet both did not have a choice.
I stood and screamed so that everything shook
the burning rubble and ash and dust
willing my words to bring it all back
but it did not come, and my breath rose in gasps.
Death had looked me in the eye and said,
“It’s not time yet.”
I would shut my eyes to the world
only decades later.
I will understand that there was hate and pain
there was sadness
but even more so, there was love and joy.
I will know that the people I loved had reason
to kiss goodbye
whether it was their own hurt
or saw it as a necessity,
but they were never truly gone from me
always somewhere nearby,
in the thick and thin
frail and worn
of times.
I would learn
to forgive Death that day.
I will understand that
and I will be hurt,
but I will be okay.

~

Not all deaths are sad.
Some, meant to ease their own pain,
Are called freedom.
While some,
Meant to ease the pain of others,
Are called love.

© BT

Oh dear woke with a
feeling of aneixty
early this morning

there it was sitting
in my chest webbing my heart
into a panic

so I inhaled a
gulp of air held it
for a short while

oops nearly forgot
to exhale , nearly met up with
angels in heaven

soon calmness begins
to settle , kick arsing fear
right down to my toes

where I get up and
walk leaving fear to scatter
alone on carpet

Hmmm must remember
to hoover floors later with
an extra wide smile

outside the weather
looks rather dull again but
that's okay I think

I've got my jacket
and pumps and a packet
of peppermint gum

I can hear lorries
driving by , there must be lots
of deliveries

all ready to stock up
shops or whatever , jeez
there tyres are huge

I take another
swig of deep air and am so
ready for today

manage to get a
grip on my aneixty
which makes me happy

I feel like zorro
as I'm ready to take on
the world with power

got my black cape and
horse chewing a strand of hay  
parked outside waiting

o okay that's an
exaggeration but i
loved zorro when young

Ah well goodbye for
now mustn't ramble on , the
day is waiting for me