I am a paradoxical mix of vanity and self-hate.
I will catch my reflection,
caught in the lure of my own eyes,
wide, dark olive drab, soulful, some might say.
The full lips, naturally red.
Slender limbs, well made.

The next moment,
I am all acne scarred skin, pock marks,
tiny *******, weak chin, critiquing the weight my bones carry,
tracing through every thing I've eaten that day,
decided, on a biased scale, if it was too much,
and how much work
will be needed to take it off.

The dichotomy of beauty and ugliness,
each raising separate voices
within the same body.
Both deadly sins, in their own right.
My mind reminds me, I am more than body,
I am also a soul,
but my body if fond of stifling it.

Let's all run
feet bare on rocks
hot from the sun

down to the river valley
rich and wet with green-leaf light
dust-red hovering

Let us sing the water
into reversal
up the mountain
and follow it there

Let us sit and sigh
the sky permitting
lit up like open starscapes

Was our destination waiting for us?

Or did we make it once we arrived?

There is a woman
In my bathroom trashcan,
Peeking one darkly-lined eye
Out from behind
An empty roll of toilet paper.
She watches me
As I sit on the toilet,
Perhaps wondering what
I'm doing,
Perhaps judging.
Probably both.
This sort of revolting action
Does not exist
In her world.
I am real
And imperfect.

She is paper.

i asked the universe to send me someone,
someone who was right for me.
i asked the world to show me something,
something marvelous to see.
i asked the wind to blow my way,
and let me have a brighter day.
i asked the birds to sing a song,
a song to help me move along.
then it happened, one fateful night.
above the moon, it shined so bright.
i looked over and then i saw you.
and i think i saw you see me too.
now i thank the birds who sang to me,
i sing them back my own melody.
i thank the wind who brought me better days,
i’m grateful they lifted the horrible haze.
i bow to the world who opened by eyes,
and let the sun shine down from the skies.
i love my universe so dear,
for now i will hold you ever near.

Busy, bustling, speeding light
Continuous, unstoppable, heavy plight?

Accepted, acknowledged, in the mind.
The body endures but is not blind.

Order in disorder. Life in death.
One foot after another, deep heavy breath.

Possible in impossible. Nobility in strife.
Beauty in chaos. Suffering in life.

What is, is now. Who knows what will be?
In acceptance of this, one is free.

Embrace, belong, whether high or low.
Only you know your truth. Live it. Jai **.