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there are no kisses and hugs
no missing or love
were laughs become screams
and tears become streams

nobody dares to speak
for we are all too weak
and afraid of what should be loved

as my mum comes near
we all stand in fear
wondering who will be next
to be pulled by the hair
and get given no care
only painful kicks and stares

I tried hiding under my bed
for sooner or later I will be dead
we're all just living in dread

I can no longer take the pain
there really is no gain

because things are just different in my house...
it's not very good but I guess it's something...
Like crystal sand pebbles
Washed away from seashore
Like shooting stars in space
Propelled out of the night sky

Our beautiful black pearls
Young and innocent and ambitious
Full of life, full of tomorrow
Were stolen away in daylight
Away from unnatural habitats
Away from unsafe clusters
Away from our sleepy watchful eyes
Loosing their buoyancy
To the same fearsome monsters
That have plagued the land much
Bursting balloons at parties
Bringing mayhem as they visit
Making our warriors look childish
Forcing help from the world over.

The sun has gone to sleep
The moon has loomed too long
But to hope, we will cling
Till we find our lost pebbles…


© Raphael Uzor
In the beginning of the college class semester we all were asked to read and inter operate:) a poem and at the end of the semester we were asked to re-inter operate:) it and see how all of our thoughts and feelings were changed after taking a class on Death and Dying. The poem is called “The Angel of Death is Always with me” by Morton Marcus. My thoughts did not change and I took over the class with my interpretation because everyone else said it is something like a reaper knocking at your door ready to take you away.

THE ANGEL OF DEATH IS ALWAYS WITH ME

The Angel of Death is always with me
the hard wild flowers of his teeth,
his body like cigar smoke
swaying through a small town jail.

He is the wind that scrapes through our months,
the train wheels grinding over our syllables.
He is the footstep continually pacing through our
chests,
the small wound in the soul,
the meteor puncturing the atmosphere.
And sometimes he is merely a quiet between the start
of an act
and its completion,
a silence so loud
it shakes you like a tree.

It is only then you look up from the wars,
from the kisses,
from the signing of business agreements;
It is only then you observe the dimensions
housed in the air of each day,
each moment;
only then you hear the old caressing the cold rims of
their sleep,
hear the middle-aged women in love with their pillows
weeping into the gray expanse of each dawn,
where young men, dozing in alleys,
envision their loneliness to be a beautiful girl
and do not know they are part of a young girl's dream,
as she does not know that she is a dream in the sleep
of middle-aged women and old men,
and that all are contained in a gray wind
that scrapes through our months.

But soon we forget that the dead sleep in buried
cities,
that our hearts contain them in ripe vaults.
We forget that beautiful women dry into parchment
and ball players collapse into ash;
that geography wrinkles and smoothes
like the expressions on a face,
and that not even children
can pick the white fruit from the night sky.

And how could we laugh while looking at the face
that falls apart like wet tobacco?
How could we wake each morning
to hear the muffled gong beating inside us,
our mouths full of shadows,
our rooms filled with a black dust?

Still,
it is humiliating to be born a bottle:
to be filled with air, emptied, filled again;
to be filled with water, emptied, filled again;
and, finally, to be filled with earth.

And yet I am glad that The Angel of Death is always
with me:
his footsteps quicken my own,
his silence makes me speak,
his wind freshens the weather of my day.
And it is because of him
I no longer think
that with each beat
my heart
is a planet drowning from within
but an ocean filling for the first time.

And This is What I Told the Class….

Adolf ****** and the **** SS come to mind after reading the clue riddled poem, “The Angel of Death is Always with me”. Hiding between the lines I find there are many reference points to the holocaust and feelings of how it might have felt from a prisoner’s point of view.

If my assumptions are valid with this interpretation as far as the relationship of “death to Life” is concerned, one would think that after witnessing all the atrocities that one saw in those concentration camps, one would almost welcome death as soon as possible as a way to escape from their living nightmare and be welcomed back into being a part of the earth so they no longer have to whisper softly, “We are the dead” and pray that they become a victim of an accident of birth.

I normally don’t comment on other people’s works in poetry for the simple fact that I try to jump into their shoes and try to understand just what it is the message they are diligently trying to convey to the reader, and in the doing of so, I feel that I might misunderstand just what it is they are trying to tell the world and in the doing of so I would then not be able to make the ranks of a poet with originality.
(SirCARSr. 4-7-14)
“Death Talk”

A. Language: The use of euphemism or metaphors to communicate a subtler or deeper meaning than those associated with a planner speech. Example, It Was Curtains- Which in one’s mind could mean, after they log the minute and tag your right toe; then then cover your peaceful corpse with clean white linen concealing your body from all the others until only the powerful certain selected one’s can watch your private encore show.

B. Music: Themes of loss and death are heard in all the musical styles. It has been suggested that death imagery rock music helped break the taboo against public mention of death. Music artists also use their talents to send out a message that somehow we all can one way or another understand and relate to.

C. In literature: The meaning of death is often explored as it relates to society as well as the individual in the form of a poem or novel. Jahan Ramazani says, “The poetry of mourning for the dead assumes in the modern period an extraordinary diversity and range, incorporating more anger and skepticism, more conflict and anxiety than ever before”. It is also how I have a safety valve after everything that I take part in. Yes some of my written works are insane but I also have a deep feeling of respect and honor along with dignity when preparing a passed loved one onto there next journey.

2. “Theoretical Perspectives”

A. Structural Functionalism- Society controls individuals through physical and material restraints, but its true power derives from moral authority. Moral authority is experienced as an external force, which takes on a sacred quality because it is experienced as unlike ordinary forces and objects. Religion arises out of ritual. It is in religious rituals that society’s moral power is most clearly felt and where moral and social sentiments’ are strengthened and renewed. All death rituals, irrespective of their substance, operate to sustain common sentiments.

B. Symbolic Interaction- is how people learn in a society to continue to and carry their specific customs and beliefs, through interactions with other members within their society by learning the practice they were taught, grew accustomed and to witness growing up.

C. Social Learning- When it comes to the topic of death along with the feelings of grief and loss, there is no singular way that an individual copes with the emotions that persist. Death is a very difficult topic to deal with, and at best we can really only hope to learn all about it. Understanding it is an undertaking all by itself, and becoming an expert on such a topic is not something that many people can say is an easy topic to talk all about. One learns social learning through demonstrations, verbal instructions and through symbolic witnessing by means of movies, television, internet, literature, and radio through music.

3. “Subcultural differences in Death Customs”

When thinking of some different subcultural differences in death customs the Asian’s African. Hawaiian an Native Indian population come to mind because although in each geographical area they all may look the same, they are actually differ in their customs because there unique tradition. Say where one group may only bury as to where the next group close only by cremation and etc… One could also think that it could be both sides of the coin when you think as to the point of it being either a comforting experience or an anxiety producing event. In my opinion it all depends all upon the individual.

4. “Myself vs. Students (quoted on taking Death and Dying Class)

After reading the students comments from taking the course on Death and Dying, I would have to agree with the consensus that I believe that a greater majority of students would have a total different way of thinking and would seek a greater outlook on their own lives along with having a better appreciation of live in general upon completing such a course.

I also think that taking a course on Death and Dying as possibly a requirement for a consideration on an early discharge from the Correctional System could lead to positive results and crime rates would then drop. Statics prove that within the prison population there are a vast number of inmates who suffer from depression of a loss of some kind that spans all crimes that are committed and is a contributing factor to their actions.

As for me, the new values that could be obtained after taking such a course were already instilled within me for many years and until recently those values have then manifested themselves and then slowly then came into true contrast.

Within the endeavors I am now slowly undertaking pursuing a degree in Mortuary Science and in the process after witnessing all that is truly entailed, I often ponder and think to myself, what is it that I can do different so I don’t meet my time anytime soon, and how can I also have many more memorable moments with my children? Because, all the gifts I have already have received now makes me wonder how many more rewards now wait around the next corner. I feel that the life I now feel I must live one should be able to be able to enjoy a comfortable one that I now dream of and if pursued diligently with a positive outlook one can harness such a life and I truly feel it is now finally, at my fingertips

Thank You for your time reading. I put a lot into this assignment.

(SirCARSr. 4-3-14)
As I slowly drift asleep and then start to close my eyes
Every night I talk to him, because he never lies.
Amazing me each and every time with his wonderful power
He shows me his true strength for I try to talk to him for about an hour.

I ask for not much, just the simple things in life
Protection for me, my children and my future wife.
Blessing me with seven gifts the beautiful family I can hold
I’m not gambling it all away, here are my cards, and I now fold.

When in times of need and when you neither are nor near
I then invite you into my dreams and look, you did hear!
Four times in my life I invited you; four times you were at my side
Soaring high above our sleeping bodies, soul mate spirits now glide.

Embarking on many journeys I go on so many dreaming quests
Is this heaven or is it hell? Or are they all just nothing but major tests?
My eyes are now opening and on the ends they stand all of my hair.
Another gift I now possess, you confirmed it, cause you showed up…
And meet me there!

(SirCARSr. 4-23-14)
I can fake my identity and try to look happy,
but its all just a cover.
Take a swig from the flask and remove the last mask
only to find another.

There was once a time when I knew myself,
but now I'm not so sure.
All semblance of self-worth lay eroding in the dirt,
and its all thanks to her.

It's not really her fault, I'm truly to blame.
I grew selfish out of fear.
Afraid of being alone, I couldn't let her go
and now she's nowhere near.
A quick freestyle that I did.
small cheap rooms where you walk
down the hall to the
bathroom can seem romantic to
a young writer.
even the rejection slips are
amusing because you are sure that
you are
one of the best.

but while sitting there
looking across the room
at the portable typer
waiting for you on the table
you are really
in a sense
insane

as you wait for
one more night to arrive to sit and
type Immortal Words--but now you
just sit and think about it
on your first afternoon in a strange city.

looking over at the door you
almost
expect a beautiful woman to walk in.

being young
helps get you through
many senseless and terrible
days.

being old
does
too.
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