As I lay here,
feeling the indent in the bed next to me, I close my eyes.
Enjoying the feeling of closeness. Enjoying the feeling of safety.
As I lay here,
thoughts stirring in my head,
ones that I shouldn't be having,
I know I am safe.
I know you will never leave me like so many have before.
As I lay here,
submerged in the cold air of the room,
I hope you can see my love for you.
Feel my love for you.
Feel my love so strongly that you know it is true.
As I lay here,
half under the golden blankets,
I need you even more.
Need the touch of your skin.
Need the feeling of your warmth.
As I lay here,
wearing the clothes I went to bed in,
I love you even more.
Even more than ever thought possible.
Even more than you could ever imagine.

I will no longer let you control me.
I will no longer listen to you.
I will no longer believe what you say to me.
I will no longer do what you want me to.
I will no longer pretend to be happy when you're around.
I will no longer accept that I can't get away from you.
I will no longer carve a smile into myself just so I can be happy.
I will no longer hide away from everyone just to be with you.
I will no longer believe a blade is my only salvation.
I will no longer think death is the only way.
I will no longer call you my only friend.
So, I'm sorry depression but this is goodbye. So long dear friend, it wasn't fun, but I have a life and I intend on living it.
Goodbye, thank you for showing me what isn't worth doing in life.
But most of all, thank you for the experience.
With love, Stephanie Bracey.

The rain that falls from my eyes is not a true rain.
The rain is not used to water gardens.
The rain is not used to quench the thirst of others.
The rain is simply a rain of relief.
A relief of release, no longer needing to hold back anymore.
I feel the rain fall down my cheeks.
I watch the rain fall on my scars.
Then more rain begins to fall as new ones are created.
This rain is not a storm nor is it a drizzle.
This rain is just simply there.
The rain that has rained a thousand times.
The rain is so much more than what can truly be described.
I cherish this rain for it does not come often.
The rain doesn't always come when called with a blade.
The rain sometimes just likes to come and visit.
So I allow it.
The rain will always be my friend.

when darkness falls upon my death
this heart is reaped
head laid to rest
do not weep
nor steep regret
you mustn't grieve a hollow chest

the calling of a soul to shed
all mortal sheaths
and specious breath
divinely deemed
a doom beset
by shadows of a hollow chest

as darkness breathes within our breast
our spirit clings
to walls of death
envisioning
a light bereft
imprisoned by a hollow chest

there's a certain song that's wept
within the halls
of sacrament
grief begone
and faith beget
freedom from a hollow chest

© Jason Cole

This is a wonderful place
lovely people
I've never felt happier before

Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
......
.....
.....
Why not?
Stop asking why and start asking why not.