Just feeling so... so empty anymore
Trying to feel the fire that was in me
The wind gust and made my flame fickle
Rains fell and toppled me over an edge

I remember the brightness of my countenance
I recall the passion in my woozy heart
I still feel the fragrance of peace in my nose
I am an alien to my own soul

Sojourner
Stranger
Outsider
Intruder

A broken road before me
A broken self in my past
A fractured will in my mind
No reflection in my eye

Just because I don't love you anymore
Doesn't mean I ever stopped loving you.

Darkness and light may battle in me every night
But this war torn mind is held together better
And this stitched together heart has many healed scars
Because Someone is holding me together with amazing people.

Yes, you amazing poets are a cause for great hope
And I look forward to you everyday
You great people I love so much
Some I've never seen your face
All I've never heard your voice

But I have seen, heard, and felt something better
Your poetry
Your stories
Your broken hearts
Your broken minds
They make you whole
And I love you all for it
So so much.

there is less of me that
i hold closely
and more of what
i want to be
that i hold closely
because who i am
is not a friend
but i will still love him
and hope to see him grow
self-love is also
self-destruction
but i plant
different seeds this time

lost in the echoes of shadowed screams
whispers of the night, haunting my dreams
asphalt veins pulse with secrets untold
within the city's heart, a story unfolds
skyscrapers scrape the ink-black sky
carving stories with every blink of an eye
midnight's symphony, a sirenic trance
wrapped in the city's clandestine dance
where fractured reflections blend and blur
illuminated whispers, like a clandestine slur
a labyrinth of alleys, weaving tales unspoken
each brick, a witness, each silence, a token
in the tapestry of shadows, i find my reprieve
seeking solace in the night, where shadows deceive
streets adorned with wilted hopes
graffiti tales on the walls, slippery slopes
sallow faces etched with despair
the city breathes a heavy, poisoned air
crimson stains on the sidewalks' embrace
echoes of shattered dreams, a somber trace
moonlight weeps upon broken glass
a reflection of dreams that couldn't amass
flickering neon, a sputtering flame
in the alleyways, shadows play their game
the city's heartbeat, a muffled drum
resonating with dreams undone
forsaken whispers in the abandoned lots
of ambitions crumbled, tied in knots
a skyline of shattered aspirations
each silhouette, a tale of desolation
like wilted flowers in a concrete field
where hope, like petals, slowly peeled
fading stars in the polluted sky
a requiem for dreams that couldn't fly
under the flickering lamplights' hum
ghostly remnants of a dream succumb
whispers of what could've been
vanish into the city's melancholy din
empty streets, hollowed echoes roam
through the ruins of a forsaken home
each step, a dance on fractured dreams
where hope unravels at the seams
a labyrinth of yearning, lost and bare
as the city weaves its tapestry of despair
in the silent alleys, shadows sigh
a requiem for dreams left to die

I want you in this embrace
You're all I think about
Hold me tight, hold me right
I want to fall asleep with you tonight
No more empty bed for us
Arms around your waist
Feeling you breathe in my arms
I want you in this embrace
Hold me right, hold me tight
Let's fall asleep tonight.

This heart is not for sale
It can only be given
But you wouldn't take it
Yet you had it stolen

Now I'm here without you
A gaping wound in my chest
You couldn't help but hurt me
Now you see I'm a mess

Actually you don't see because you're gone
You left me all alone with no heart
But I'm not going to break for you
I'm going to keep marching on

And you'll miss me

Scream...
Scream my heart, and let her go.
Let her go, and don't look back.
But you always look back.
Why do you always look back?
Why can't you just scream...
And let her go?

Some days I feel less than I am.
Most days I feel less than I could be.
Everyday I'm never as I should be.

There's this pain deep in me that's unrelenting;
Never can I **** it off all the way.
I do find ways to dull it... to take the edge off:
Video games
Baseball
History
Poetry
Friends


But it's never enough.
The pain comes from that gap, that separation, between my soul and You.

I know our relationship isn't as it should be... that terrible gap in it... I know Your Son bridges it and Your Spirit holds it eternally.
But I have fled from You. I'm not asking for forgiveness from You. Not yet, I'm still unrepentant.
I'm asking for You to break through my solid walls; nobody else can.

You are God, I am but flesh and dust.
Hear me.

Riding down this unknown road
Faint music on the radio
Lost in my thoughts
Looking for some clarity
Driving always helps
But I'm so **** tired
Didn't see the boy
Until it was too late
What have I done?!
I took a child's life!
I can't bear to see him
I speed off and flee
One look back
Tears in my eyes
But there was a turn in the road
I would've seen
If I wasn't looking back
But I awake and realize
It was only a dream

My dear big sis! How I love you so much!
Your words always bring warmth to my heart
Your care always brings a smile to my face
Even in my tears, you hold me up
Even with my fears, you show me the light at the end of the tunnel

You're always here when I need you, and I'm so blessed you're in my life
I know you're hurting right now, but you aren't alone
We all love you so so much, and we'll never let you stay down
No matter what your sorrows, you'll never walk them alone.

Plus, it can always be worse. You could always end up being a ****** thermometer tester... (yes, that's a real job) :)

For so long you held me
Under the black water
Caring nothing of my lungs
Knowing I was drowning

Yet I was the one
Overcoming your spell
Under six feet you now lie

Mind in a fog
Can't write a poem
Words aren't coming
Head is just spinning

I remember the way I weave words
Seemed so easy for me to do
Right now I can't form a sentence
Maybe a bit of food will help

I don't want to ask the questions I want to ask
I don't want to hear the answers I want to hear

You're my Angel and my Demon
You're my Rescue and my Death

My will is faltering and failing
My faith is strengthening and secure

I don't live in a paradox
But I die in a paradox

Sink deep
Find the gold

Beep beep
Wake up now

Wink blink
It's all gone

Drink think
Off to work

poetry has become nothing more than
fizzling embers that i desperately bellow
in the hopes that once bright flame will
ablaze again

Death has a thing for me
Always trying to ****** me
Giving me passionate kisses
Wearing revealing clothes

Death is quite gorgeous, actually
A charming personality unrivaled on earth
A figure that Elizabeth Banks is jealous of
And a killer instinct that's always fatal

But I resist her temptation
Because I have a thing with life
She's so much hotter anyway
Because she's my awesome wife

'Til Death do us part

As I lie here in bed at two thirty in the morning
I remember you.
Not only do I remember you but I remember you with fondness.
And I love these sweet memories
And the melodies we shared.
It wasn't meant to be, but I'm glad it was tried
And though this heart isn't yours
You hold the old half I gave you
So long ago.

Waking up, he lets his eyes adjust to the blinding morning sun. Seeing the strange beige walls and red drapes he was confused at first; the redhead in his arms reminds him that he was out last night.
Carefully unlocking himself from her torso and arms, Jack sneakily slipped from beneath the covers unnoticed, as she simply turned over, showing her rather cute face.
What a nice little button nose, and that mouth with those, soft, tender, pink lips...
He should've been looking where he was walking, rather than admiring the sleeping beauty, because he slipped on last night's used ****** and crashed to the floor. Gross! And he bruised his hip. Insult and injury! And that definitely woke her up. So much for a silent exit...

Jumping from the crash, Savannah sits up immediately and let's out a quick, ear-bleeding yelp of surprise at the man scrambling up off the floor. Seeing his face, she lets out a sigh of relief. "JACK! Don't scare me!" She throws off the covers from her, revealing her small ******* and straight shaped body. She picks up and tosses Jack's pants across the floor, winking at him and mouthing the words, "don't go", as she walks to her closet to get fresh clothes. "I'll be taking a shower before I make breakfast." She turns and looks at Jack, grinning, "Feel free to join, if you want. Oh, and, no ******. I'd hate for you to fall down." she teasingly says as she gives a seductive look behind her, and a soft rub on her rear...

"Yeah, I'll be there in a second." I walk over to pick up my pants, and other clothes strewn about. I'm not feeling it, right now. I really enjoyed how this girl loved last night. Very attractive and skilled. But I'm not going to stick around for seconds. I have a sick feeling in my gut and it's like my heart is shattering. I grab up my phone and keys and step into the hall and sneak down the stairs, keeping an eye out for used condoms. I hear, barely, her asking if I was coming in yet. I stop, and let out a sigh. I step up the stairs, then stop... I turn around and write a note on the refrigerator door. I head out, eyes in tears for reasons unknown to me and I drive home...

*I'm tired of just ***.
I'm not that kind of man, anymore.
You were a great one night stand.
Sorry

"Baby, it's cold outside. I don't want you to go out.
Stay here with me, cuddled by the fireplace.
Encased in this red, fuzzy blanket."
I wanted to tell you that night.
Instead I simply said to you:
"Goodnight, my love. Be safe."
And you drove off into the sunset
And I never saw you again...

So, alone again...
Lost out on you
Lost out on you, too
Lost out on love and lust
A few screams into the pillow
Lots of crying when nobody sees
And then I'll be fine again

I need a drink...

ᴺᵒᵗʰᶦᶰᵍ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʷᵒʳᶫᵈ ᶦˢ ᶦᶰᶜᵃᵖᵃᵇᶫᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵇᵉᶦᶰᵍ ᶠᶦˣᵉᵈ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃᶰ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ⋅ ᴬ ᶜʰᵃᶰᶜᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵗʰᶦᶰᵍˢ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵃᵍᵃᶦᶰ⋅ ᵀʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵐʸ ᵈʳᵉᵃᵐ⋅

God, I gotta say
I don't understand
What it means
To be a Christian
Anymore

Your grace abounds in sin
But we're not to commit sin
We sin everyday, everyway
Not one of us is clean, ever

I'm having a tough time here
Would You please make it clear?
My soul is forever Yours
Flesh breaks our union

Taking a shovel to dig,
Falling into the hole I dug,
Wallowing like a pig.

Wanting to write a limerick
Feels like it's a gimmick
Just don't have the passion
Can't find my writing fashion
Just need to find my topic and pick it

Too long; didn't read,
Not enough time,
Too much to do,
Hope it wasn't important,
But I'm all about me,
You didn't draw me in,
With the first five seconds.

My attention span is short,
If I'm not entertained,
I won't give you my time,
So keep it short and snappy,
And make it all about me.

God, please
Let her drop the blade
Let her skin remain whole
Keep the blood in her veins
And fix her eyes on You

The place I hold in my heart for you
Is chillingly, hauntingly, painfully empty.
I kept it for you, only for you
No other woman would do.
It's weathered a lot of storms
But I never let it deform.
And I waited, keeping everything fixed
You never came, our love is unmixed.
Now I'm here, alone in this house I built
For you, and only for you
No other woman will do.
I'm tired of waiting, now debating
To turn off the no vacancies sign
And let someone else in.
I guess my love for you is a limited time offer, now.

I have my suit and tie on (You know I never dress up)
Filet mignon is set with your favorite seasoning
Along with squash and zucchini, your favorite veggies
That wondrous chocolate mousse you love, yeah I got that, too.

I'm waiting on you.

I've laid out the rose pedals on our bed
I've got Elvis playing soft and slow
I've lit the vanilla scented candles
I've sprinkled just a pinch of cinnamon.

I'm waiting on you.

Remembering the touch of your lips on mine
Feeling your body's heat against mine
Remembering the way you taste
Feeling your pleasure matching mine.

I'm waiting on you.

Another murmur from my heart.
Another giving of thanks to still be alive.

Can't fall asleep when you want,
Then drop off without a warning.

Push your closest friends away from you,
When you're trying to stay as close as possible.

Have a heart torn asunder,
Give up on your hopes.

All alone, abandoned and discarded,
Forgetting how poisonous I can be.

It's not the death of life that scares me.
It's that limbo between the two, where you just shuffle through the days of your life wasting any and every possibility your life can have.

I'm not suicidal, I just desire the finality of death over the agony of a living coma.

the shore recedes
then compose
one thought lingers
the other disappears
always oppose
marigold sky hung above
far too bright
the gulls take flight
in eerie silence
wind's gentle sigh
unabating births into a gale
tumultuous storm
it's my heart's only tale
i curse the sun for shining too much
i curse the snow when i hear it crunch
the darkness dwells in the light like a parasite
the evil feeds on the good it takes delight
it smacks its lips and drinks my oceans dry
there isn't a tear left i can cry
for the millionth time i ask my mirror why

only for the winds to die down again
the gulls to return
laughing their hideous laugher
echoing in my head forever after
the shore recedes
then compose
one thought lingers
the other disappears

always oppose

i hate when songs explain me
better than my own **** poetry
as if i was written out like a plot
on some ****** old tv show that
use to air in the 50s
im thirty but im fifty but im
still a teen
leaning into the stereotypes of
misspelled "me's"
its too tiring to explain anymore
there isnt a thing to prove anymore
im just me and
dont know how to deal with me
anymore

Enchanted by the calmness and healing I recieve from belonging to you.
I'm overbearing. I'm too affectionate. I care about things too much for my own
good and I constantly struggle with thoughts of being excluded or abandoned.
My friends who care about me despite all my flaws will never understand how
much they will always mean to me.

I have no life because I sit on my *** and play video games, or sit on a tablet and write poetry?
Because I didn't go to college and don't have a job?
You work twelve, thirteen, fourteen hours a day on a thankless job that isn't making ends meet.
Still paying off a college debt that got you nowhere, and a mortgage you can't afford.
You consistently fail to pay bills and never can afford some necessities to life, like insurance or a badly needed car.
You never call your mother because you think she thinks you're a failure, which isn't true, but you're too prideful to think otherwise.
You come home to a nagging wife and a falling apart house and failing marriage that you never fix because life kicked you in the ***** and you've never got back up.
You're cynical, uncaring, and downright depressing.

If that's life, I'm glad I have none of it.

Breakfast...
Breakfast without you,
Like trying to eat ash from cigarettes,
Like chewing the food and then spitting it out.

Springtime...
Springtime without you,
Seeing all the animals in pairs,
Sadly reminds me you're not by my side.

Television...
Television without you,
It is not entertaining at all,
It is pointless without you snuggled into me.

Bedtime...
Bedtime without you,
Not embraced in the lover's song,
Not holding each other and saying sweet nothings.

Words...
Words without you,
Entirely meaningless and hollow
Entirely without purpose, impact, softness, or point.

Poetry...
Poetry without you,
Enters a somber grave deep within,
Enters a rest from which it will eternally slumber.

Because I,
Am without,
You.

Everyday I'm told to be strong
Be strong
Be strong
Be strong

It's like an echo
Echo
Echo
Echo

Maybe I'm better off weak
Better off weak
Better off weak
Better off weak

Because I'm not strong
Not strong
Not strong
Not strong

Eye for an eye, we all go blind
But you're better than mankind
Through judgement we hide
Never reveal our darker side
That we all have fallen short
Of the King's holy court
But through a bent knee
And a broken heart
He gives us who ask
An eternal restart

what melancholy
could serenade me better
than a broken heart
a bottle of whiskey
and a head full of memories
that hurt too much
when sober

A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.
But if all links are eroded and rusted, what happens?
You break free.

i long to scream
until the surface of my throat
is as torn as much as
my heart feels
as much as
my mind is
until i am haunted
by the thought
that i dont recall
my own voice

Nearly fell
I heave blood

We wouldn't light up our passions
And make love til sunrise
We wouldn't explore our bodies
And pleasure each other to new highs
I would just hold you
We would just be
Hollow together