Weight…wait

Fantasies of cobblestone pairings, cracked and scattered
and wheat field decisions, looming large
now rest on my shoulders
like moss on a stone
~
Clinging tightly to each inch
of north facing skin
while never really noticing
that east is my direction of choice
~
So much it seems piles on,
***** laundry on the bathroom floor
disguised beneath damp towels
only to add more weight
~
And I lift, not knowing if I will fall,
crumbling beneath this load, drunk of the massive pain,
yet I find the ground is much softer, a bed of posies
since you wait for me, and help me to stand
~
Guiding hands comfort, shading the sun from weary,
tear stained eyes, brushing back vines, tangled and thorn’d
revealing that nothing is ever too much
when a friend is near

Fragile wings of stained glass rainbows
Endless your uncharted flight
Still I face the window staring
Praying you fly by this night


Longing in this darkest hour
Emptiness my heart does breathe
Forever more I shall be waiting
Eternally I shall believe

~


If only you knew…


If only you knew…
what waits for you deep within the lonely chambers of my wanting heart

Stillness on quiet waters
that rise to meet the sun splashing through your ever enchanting smile

Echoes of a summer breeze
as it sweeps through your flowing hair in fragrant breathtaking visions

Paintings of rainbow desires
on your whispering skyline shimmering in effervescent sunrise dreams

Piano serenades of affection
played in harmony with your perfect eyes as they follow a wandering butterflies path

Silent wishes sent upon
a glistening moonbeam as it illumines the precious jewel that is your beautiful face

Devotion on a silver chain
caressing the silky contours along the wondrous sculpted artistry of your porcelain neckline

Eternal love carefully sealed
only to be opened by the delicate touch of your gracious and alluring fingers

All of this and more
waits for you deep within the lonely chambers of my wanting heart…if only you knew

In dreams

On misty banks of weathered shoreline,
deplete by oceans endless play
With scattered seas of ageless voyage,
lone sunsets formed on borrowed bay

Horizons beckon with a daydream,
in distant lines of forward flow
On breezes captured always welcome,
as if some one I once did know

A jetty sits in foam laced waters,
lapping cold against its skin
Of the sights it surely witnessed
and moon beam patterns once again

This solitude of thoughts provoking,
a heartbeat dances on a wave
For memories we’ve long forgotten
or the ones our heart has saved

As here I sit in meditation,
abreast of nature’s melody
To find a whispered love awakens,
my woman of this dark night sea

This night and every there before me,
bring a touch of love so kind
Beyond the washing waves so splendor,
for but a voice to call her mine

So now I face this grand conclusion,
what’s meant to be is all I ask
For on the sun’s due east arrival,
I stand ready for the task

To send my love, to her unending,
far beyond this shining sea
And pray to find her pure acceptance
in dreams that she shall wait for me

~


Laughing, only to hide the tears,
now gathering in the corners of my mouth,
drowning me…(I should be so lucky)

staring at a reflection in the protective glass,
not someone I recognize at this convenience store counter,
even if it is me

When facing a fool, as I often do,
I close my eyes as to not see the sorrowed face,
yet I know…I have been warned

“Don’t reach for what you can not have…
No hands in the cookie jar,
it’ll spoil your appetite”

But I don’t listen, I hear, but…I am hungry,
she can’t mean me? Not me,
not the dancing clown that brings smiles

Watch me juggle, my heart, my love, my soul,
spotlights transition my lenses
and the stage goes dark

The minimum wage clerk is not amused,
wiping his nose with his hand,
then extending it as if requesting payment

But I have not purchased, I have only looked,
watched her walk to another, thumbing her nose in my direction
as if hitch hiking on her face

Still I reach for an empty wallet
filled with past due receipts and plastic poison,
fattening the faux leather Fossil with I.D. holder

Another swipe of the card, slowly as directed,
magnetic strip inward…

declined

~

My eyes find brilliant sunshine
as I peek from my umbrella
side stepping the ever filling puddles
dotting this muddied pathway

Blue skies overhead sing out loud
in the key of forever love,
harmonizing with each falling rain drop
and thunder clap ovation

I bask in the comforting warmth
of this damp cold drizzle
that coats my skin
and seeps through my shoes

My smile glows brightly…
past lightening strikes
and torrential downpours,
keeping all others indoors

“A more beautiful day
I have not seen”
I shout to the dark clouds
hovering ominously above me

I love thinking of you on a rainy day

Fragile, this existence,
love...
parading by-

As days count and storm clouds rise...
Beneath me on the pavement
lie the shards
of what I once was, what could have been,
silenced,
as the crowd looks on

Vast collections of splintered feelings
tear at me,
rip my flesh,
purge my heart,
bringing the pain of dying gardens,
over run with weeds of intense sense and truth,
as these faces
grow wicked

Oh how these blooms stare
openly gawking, (perhaps smirking)
as I drop the shears to the ground,
where they stick
points forward,
and the soften asphalt swallows

Nurtured inward lies converge on me
My beliefs chase me,
laugh at me,
taunt me,
like a parade balloon fighting against the wind

The marching band stands still,
there is no music,
only the mocking of colorful floats
shedding memories
like pink tissue paper flowers
to the street

They trample me,
and I thank them…
For this is me,
face down

~


In echoed voice I shall shout the truth
beyond waning sunsets with colorful smiles
and fields of snow covered poppies in blooming dance,
waving at me in the breeze like they know me…maybe they do

Standing here above all else,
feeling taller than I should (but small in the grand scheme of things)
builds a certain strength in my heart…
energizes this tired, worn out man with new life

Breathing the altitude’s winter’d air,
a rush of splendor entices a gleam in my eye
For whatever beauty I may see, there is always you
and I can truly look nowhere else

I have climbed this peak, fought the terrain, the cold,
clawed and scraped on this wondrous day,
so that the world below, humming their own tunes,
meandering like ants, performing their duties oblivious to all

Would hear what I am about to say…
As it is in this moment of stillness,
this peaceful serenity that I conquer my fears, eyes wide open
pulse racing in fevered flow as…anticipation swells

Taking a deeper breath burns my lungs, but in a good way
as I move two steps closer to the edge, gather my balance
and shout from this apex of the world…
“I love you”…in hopes these harmonic echoes find your ears

The pain,
nothing there...emptiness...voided feelings
hollowed out shadowed disruptions
sitting in the darkness, alone...again
and it hurts

That song
melodic interuptions
raining memories from thunder head tamperings
down poured sadness on minor keyed choices
played in orchestrated sorrow

This thought
taking me on whispered failures
breathing my final words
of non seen poetic phrases penned in desperate ink
smeared by free verse tears

The pain...endless...eternal...
because we weren't

And they come
Like ants to sugar
Seeking the sweet
Granules dropped
From the cake
Prepared for a special occasion
Until someone
Blew out the candles
And their wish
Turned to fears
Dripping like wax
On the frosting

~

“And when your fears subside and shadows still remain”


Dark places floating in rear view mirror journeys
on empty highways, slick and cold but in the past
Within my hand I hold you, warmth finds the place,
leaving behind the sorrow on leaf covered shoulders

“I know that you can love me when there's no one left to blame”

Taken upon my soul, those incisions of pain, deep
Draped on heavy sighs and forward motions
Cast aside, tossed for loss, rendered useless
and my heart sings for you, come to me for I shall love you

“So never mind the darkness we still can find a way”


Shrouded in worry, clouded escapes stood firmly
Together we can draw back these curtains, embroidered blankets,
revealing the next hillside spilling a sunrise
in bright smiles and good memories rejoicing

*“'Cause nothin' lasts forever, even cold November rain”

~

East to West (and back again)

Not even a voice, merely words on a page,
a welcome, a smile, waiting as I lift my eyes
From slumber, kicking out the last of my dreams,
only to find that they do not end

Orange sherbet skies paint my windows
above yawning tree lines at the end of a dirt road
Persimmon outlined shadows
dance about my walls inviting me to look

I grab my cup, hot but needed, step into my shoes
passing through to morning, taking a sip…
I find more beauty than my eyes have seen,
while birds flit from branch to branch

The air is cool, unusual but so very pleasant,
heated days form in my memories of yesterday,
when cool springs were no match for the flamed heavens…
yet perfection now touches my skin

And I see, before me not a morning, not a brilliant sunrise
but you…your words, your touch, finding me at a distance,
telling me that this day is ours, beyond horizons…
East to west and back again…for the beauty of my day is always you

Why do I have hands?

Why do I have hands,
to touch and to feel
to mold clay into wonderful shapes
to paint smiling faces on canvas,
only to reach and find that I can’t?

Why do I have eyes,
to see the wonders of the day
to close so that I may dream
to send messages of hope with their expressiveness,
only to cry these tears that blur my vision?

Why do I have a mind,
to think and learn
to feel and offer insight
to construct ideas in flowing scenes,
only to imagine what the fear must feel like?

Why do I have a heart,
to live and to breathe
to love endlessly
to feel emotions,
only to break, because you are gone?

Why do I have hands,
when I cannot hold you?

~

Darkness now my only friend
As I sit here and dream again
That everything somehow will turn out fine

I fought the feeling all night long
My hopes and dreams would all be wrong
When come tomorrow morning I would find

My world it would come crashing down
As silence is the only sound
And loneliness does stare me in the face

Where happiness itself once stood
I find that it is gone for good
As blindness takes my visions to erase

The future once was shining bright
Albeit by a candle’s light
The flame would flicker swiftly in the air

But now that flame has gone away
To burn for someone else’s day
Its loving light another now can share

For now I look into the past
Of memories my mind does cast
And think about the good times that we had

A smile forms where it was not
of these good time I had forgot
to realize that they weren't oh so bad

I thought for sure this love was real
At least inside my heart did feel
That anything it soon would overcome

So what, the miles in between
You are the answer to my dream
In darkness you would be my rising sun

Alas my words were not enough
And when the going got too rough
The love I guess was not so very true

For true love it can conquer all
If it is real it shall not fall
This love will never end I have for you

So now I have to sit and wait
This day I can’t communicate
Through some all seeing power up above

And if this day you wake and shout
To find that you can’t live without
Forever here you’ll find my waiting love

My God what have I done
the stone has been turned
Moss now on the south side
fools gold found underneath

And I stand holding my prize
shimmering in the fog
rolling in from an eastern coast
coating my heart now bleeding

At what cost this prize,
the smile,  the trust of a friend
skipped across the ripples of life
and tomorrow never comes

Yet I hold this gold...fool's precious metal
alone in the dusty confines
of a leather pouch,  untied, un - knotted
that once held our hearts

~

Drinking from the fountain as the distant shadows pour
Remnants of a feeling that has passed beyond the trees
Leaves amass in piles of an amber flavored tint
Engulfing all that I can now conform myself to see

Shaded in the mystery that wraps about your smile
Clinging to the aftermath that still has yet to flow
Reaching for the volume titled “anywhere but here”
Drunk within the answers that my heart is soon to know

In a splash the difference does wash my pleading skin
Cleansing in the daylight dance of silence on the square
Marching bands so far away yet cymbals break the sound
Tempo’d to my nightly dreams that always find you there

In of every morning as the words jump from the screen
Waiting on a sandy beach this cup of flavored grins
Beckoning my tired eyes to wake before the sight
As a new day breathes a sigh and once more does begin

~

Zephyrs breach this cobble wall,
gusts of morning glory breezes
swirl enchanting echoes about my weary mind
I reach for the top, pulling myself to my feet
so that I may see that which is calling
in wind swept phrases of poetic vistas…finding me

“Hallucinating?”

Breathless, I lean on moss covered stone,
weakened by mystic dreams and sighed fragrance
For the beauty which engulfs my sight
of lavender reaches in ribbon’d flow,
brush strokes of cocoa eyes smiling
now grasp my body, wrapping me in passion’d bliss…touching me

“Hypnotically”

“What magic is this?” I call out from the shadows
in wheezing of broken harmony
“I am love," she whispers as my breath escapes
Clutching my chest in fevered emotions,
wide eyed dimensions course my now beaming face
as all of life has bloomed within my being…and I fall

“Hyperventilating”

Edit poem

This is just another night
Lonely streets and flashing neon
Shadows moving, no eye contact
Brick facades push away steam

Walking softly on dampened sidewalks
Head hung low wondering
Why this feeling continues, this crawl
Lost within the halls of my heart

Broken lines with no exit
Foreclosed affection in headlines
Written on the palm of my hand
Smearing in tear drops wiped

Yesterday was like a dream
You were mine, smiling, laughing
Sharing a day at the park on a painted bench
Watching silent paddle boats sleep

A March sun glistened on still waters
And birds sung softly overhead
When something was off, out of place… pieces
Our silhouettes slowly faded to one

Watching my sneakers form ruts
Swinging nervously back to front
Kicking dust up in my stomach
Where butterflies change to stone

Waiting for you, a setting sun
Flamed drizzling on my shoulders
Slumped reflections on a westward sky
As I still search to the east

Yes, this is just another night
Followed by just another day
An agonizing repetitive pattern
My always…without you

~

Here in my arms I hold you, soothe you
Tightly, to never let go
Warmth to comfort sorrow
Safety for I shall not let anything hurt you

“All that I am I give in hopes of your smile”

As tears fall on wrinkled sleeves
Weeping eyes dried if only temporary
Close to me, within my grasp
Rest my love, soundly between minutes passing

“As times disappears, my love for you is steadfast”

By your side I will remain
No matter the moments of fear, worry, emptiness
I will be your strength, lean on me
For nothing will challenge my stance

“Weakness will not deter this affection I have for you”

Broken hearts, shattered pieces mingle with sad memories
If I could change places with the one you lost, I would
Freely fall to dark places, leave the sun behind
So that your happiness may return

*“For my life is nothing, without your joy”

Dancing on a cloud that dreams have washed along the shore
Counting every star drop feathered bliss
Walking with a happy heart to vistas near and far
Feeling still our moon lit good night kiss

Staying up past midnight with the sunlight in my eyes
Floating off to every sound I hear
Cellophane in colors wrapped so tightly ’round the skies
Candy coated marmalades appear

Singing to a butterfly in harmonies of spring
Picking daisy petals sent by you
Falling to the rhythm of its ever moving wings
Hoping that this flower will be true

Riding on a zebra with its stripes the bluest green
Milkshake pizzas waiting by the door
Peppermints and lavenders are painted on the screen
Wanting that but this is so much more

Climbing up a ladder just to see how low I can
Wishing on a cross that finds its criss
Funny what my mind does see while knowing that I am
Feeling still our moon lit good night kiss

Softly flows the sunset colors
painted on tired skies with fire
Igniting a wafting cloud in orchid tints,
the fresh scent of pine lingering within its escape

Drowsy horizons boast their claim
along seaside waverings in salted mist
Romance swims on shorelines engulfed
with all of the pageantry a white cap stanza can bring

And I whistle as I walk along,
taking in this wonder that has followed me home
Resting on a porch swing, feet off the ground
as morning glories sleep beyond white painted balustrades

Satin fingers intertwine with mine,
milk pudding lips bring their flavor to me
Luscious frosting in a whipped frenzy
coating my mouth in sugary mass

I point to the sky, the stars they beckon,
heart shaped constellations for two
Twinkling in your twilight eyes
as I reach for my pen and pad

Only to realize that this indeed is my imagination,
lounging on a worn out sofa, tattered cushions,
empty beer cans acting like so many wishes
leaving wet rings on a table, but who cares

There was a time when poetry flowed
from these lonely fingers
in paisley emotions and violet scentings
climbing the arbor of love

But since you left,
leaving behind the shadows which claim my eyes
my ink is dry and my paper tossed, tiny ***** in random patterns
on a floor that begs carpeting, but only bares soiled footprints

As I struggle to my feet, to the front window
desperately waiting for the grass to grow and daisies…
I stab the wooden sill with my pen, I need it no more, for…
there is no poetry without you…and never will be again

~


Lying here between the folds of an uncaring sheet
A wind chime blustery morning calls me from slumber
Tracing shadows on dark walls through desperate eyes
Counting minutes on a clock’s reflective markings

Rain drips from altered eaves steadily, slowly falling
In syncopated patterns on damp grass clippings
Teasing my mind in the endless possibilities
Of what my desires, even at this hour plead

Your image finds me, still and silent
Questions come in long sentences
Breaking down dreams of distant church bells
Wondering if we truly could be, together

Will you ever find love again, could you
In the arms of one who imagines your beauty
Tastes your lips in midnight thoughts
Feels your skin on chilly twilight sighs

Of this I write, not because it is who I am
But because it is what I was meant to be
Poetically entwined, metaphorically wrapped
Draped upon your heart in phrases of collected verse

Read aloud as a smiling sun approaches
Whispering your name over the horizon’s wonder
Echoing of this affection that drains my soul
And longs to breathe you for the very first time

From my pen flows desperate ink
In lace-like frilly fonts of an italicized nature
Curling around these words penned in the dark
*Hoping you see, hoping you read, hoping…………

Paths weave unending,
zigzags, nothing straight,
bordered by questions,
curb lines of indecision...

It all seems too much,
cement sacks pile up,
mountains of concrete doubt
draining strength in poured emotions

Eyes closed to joyful horizons,
painted futures in vibrant choices
beaming a happiness just within your reach
awaiting your touch, your approval

Though weakness holds you back,
chains tighten their grip...as
perhaps they should,  
or perhaps they shouldn't

The desire to help is fruitless,
barren branches of no leaves,
twisted and crooked in the wind,
if the help is not harvested

So I watch from a distance,
gazing on the farthest star,
making a wish in a caring whisper,
sending my thoughts on a moonbeam

Falling to my knees,
feeling the tears flow down my cheeks,
now screaming to the heavens, pleading desperately...
hear me, please hear me...and

Look into your heart, for there
you will find the strength you need,
you will find your happiness,
you will find me

Crystallized Moon Beams


Crystallized moon beams
Fractured light of endless desire
Shimmer on you as our eyes meet
Beneath a canopy of gemstone brilliance
Pearl buttons glisten as fingers touch
Your smile grants permission
Leaving me breathless

Serenity of the night serenades
Our hearts beat in silent yearnings
Lips find your shoulders pure
Your neck sweet of perfumed nectar
A sultry sigh floats wispily to the heavens
As we lay entwined on feathery grass
Exploring each other amidst whispering winds

City lights twinkle, reflections on the bay
Unaware of our love, our moment
Leaves trickle to earth like tiny wings
As I gaze upon your silhouette
Mysterious against this velvet sky
Still beauty falls like summer rain
Drenching my sight with you

A full moon stares down smiling
Happily enchanted by our movements
Lifting and lowering, the dark horizon mirrors you
And still I linger upward at your charm
“I love you” I sough, feeling every pulsation of affection
Blissfully seeking, deeper inside
You peer down of hypnotic gazes

Harmonic moans sing in a sensual duet
Echoing through tree lined vistas
Increasing in tempo, you fall to my lips
Tongues dance to the melodic rapture
Fevered vibrations rhythmically sway
Clutching my arms, head arching back
Your hair like chocolate ribbons flowing

A shooting star trails your murmured gasp
Fireworks ignite within, intensely exploding
Illuminating your smile, your face
I rush to meet you, simultaneous sensations
Quivering starlit ecstasy shines
Collapsing in my loving arms  
As the evening blankets us in euphoria

Merely a word
Whispered in passing
Perhaps an old thought…a memory
Reminded you of me
And I lifted my eyes
Knowing nothing did matter
Certain that wishes and four leafed clovers
Were just a distraction
Each day the same
Hours upon hours of thinking
Asking those questions
Of only myself, no one else would care
Cautioned on how my I might react
If it happened (fat chance)
You reached out from the silence
And spoke my name…which I believed you had forgotten
~
Then on a humid Sunday
I looked down…unprepared
Dressed in weathered shorts and a faded T
Beneath all that lived above me
You were there
Still beautiful…still you
And you smiled at me and called my name
I looked away quickly
Lost on this ledge of uncertainty
How many times can a heart be broken
And still want for more
As tears well in my eyes
I want to speak, but I have no voice
Not in this direction
Hiding behind the need and the worry
I don’t know what to do
~
I long to scream at the top of my lungs
Sing and dance on roof top imagery
Write poetry again…again (I said I never would)
And I can’t, I just can’t
These walls I’ve built are strong
Simple pebbles formed of every tear drop
Strength cemented through pain
Foundations on not being good enough
And yet my trumpet blares
I can’t help myself…I won’t?
Yelling inside, muted to all listening
Crumble **** it…crumble

~

Around the world I search for you
Before the sun does rise
Creating such a wondrous view
Debuted for my eyes

Each moment that I come to share
Facing towards the east
Grabbing hold of everything
However I may see

Insisting that you take my hand
Joining in the song
Knowing you will understand
Listening all along

Many times I want to cry
Nothing seems to ease
Others tend to wander by
Pretending to appease

Quietly I search for you
Reaching for a star
Stating but my point of view
Taking it too far

Understand the way I feel
Verify the lot
When will all of this be real
X does mark the spot

You alone do take my heart
Zero hour they say
In this poem you will find
I love you starts with A

~

O’ blustered winds - of coarseness flow
Upon these lips atone
Yon murmured fields of slowly strolled
To quest as if unknown
Lest I call these visions deemed
A’ crying o’er the heart
Breadth o’ mine own eyes hath seen
Nor fancied o’ thy part

It hath been of sorrowed sleep
O’ cast of humbled dreams
That I, for one ~ hath felt the thrill
A’ wash of what it seems
For as with all ~ who’ve angels smiled
And to the long of mind
Within my heart thy taste is real
Of you that I now find

For thee, I say ~ I now must weep
Thy joy engulfs my soul
To breathe is lost from what I see
This heart o’ my control
Happiness doth shed these tears
‘Tis moisture meant to show
O’er all that I hath known this past
My heart doth love thee so

I pray that I shall not awake
Yon beauty calls my sleep
For if mine eyes should find the sun
I fear that I shan’t keep
This love angelic I hath found
So forged this slumbered dream
As is each day ~ of years to come
Your love doth come to me

Across Symphonic Seas

Echoed surf a’ whispered shores
Melodic rhythm ~ twilight’s dance
Alone my love does play for you
On mystic strings in winged romance

Neath heartbeat sails of velvet skies
Darkened shadow’s purple haze
Transparent flows a’ shimmered light
To harmonize with lonely days

For hear my love, eurhythmic dreams
Hypnotically our song takes flight
Lyrically of purest sound
Across symphonic seas this night