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Izan Almira Apr 13
I never understood the sentence
"I have my heart in my mouth."
Not until I tasted it,
not until I spit it,
not until the words got stuck in my throat
because I felt a weight on my mouth that didn’t let me breathe.

I didn’t understand the sentence
until I felt my chest empty
and its beating on my neck.
Until I cried because I couldn’t even talk.

I didn't understand what
"Having your heart in your mouth"
meant
until I found it there
and I had no one to turn to.
Hopefully 'I have my heart in my mouth' is an expression that IS actually used in english, because the original poem was about a spanish idiom ('tengo el corazón en la garganta') that IS quite common.
  Apr 13 Izan Almira
Juno
I was home,
The feeling that suddenly hit my heart-
Spreading through my body,
The sense of comfort and belonging-
Hugged my body gently,
It’s Raw and natural beauty-
“Simple”- but not to me,
It was so intricately painted-
Every tree,
every brushstroke: making the mountains
every uniquely mixed color,
Came together in harmony.
The familiar, spiractic, sharp but soft-
Trees cut through the sky,
As if they were waving,
Revealing their pattern as the sun shone through,
And in the distance-
They looked like golden bushes,
Caught in the suns light.
The beautiful white and orange houses poked through the dark green trees,
Like a used and messy paint pallet,
That was somehow still so pretty,
As if the beauty could not continue-
Yet the pink and purple clouds appeared,
Like kind giants,
Slowly drifting through the light blue sky

I always thought it was strange-
Hearing about people falling in love with countries or cities,
But now I understood.

I knew then-
And every time I was reminded,
This was my place,
The country I fell in love with
I had to come back one day,
But that time- I would never leave,

And in that moment,
All my worries were at a halt,
And only happiness remained

-JJ
08/04/25
  Apr 13 Izan Almira
Juno
The feeling
The worst one,
Oh how it feels- Never ending
When there is nothing-
-In the world-
To seize the pain your feeling,
wonder far, wonder wide
Try to grasp and reach,
To distract you from this pain,
Feeling empty, feeling numb-
left undistracted for too long

Wish to drift into endless bliss,
Mindless entertainment-
To quiet the buzzing mind,
How no one could survive it.
What a jumbling maze,
With no words to describe,
And in this moment nothing could satisfy-
-   My dear, confusing mind

-JJ
22/02/25
  Apr 13 Izan Almira
alia
I wish I could open up wide,
But most won’t see what’s kept inside.
So I stay quiet, smile instead,
While screaming words inside my head.
some might think they know the real me. well, they don't. I have a lot in my head that is hard for me to share, though is it safe?
Izan Almira Apr 12
We always talk about
strength,
about pride,
about the hurt others caused;
we are the victims of our world
we look for pity.
for understanding,
we talk about the monsters
we didn’t unleash.

I want to talk about regret,
about the demons I’ve let out;
about the ache I burned in others hearts;
about the monster I’ve been in others
fairy tales.

I want to be raw
and true to myself.
I’ve never been good
or perfect,
or even alright.

My words have been like poison
and they have pounded in others’ hearts.
I have left people
to themselves
when they were at their worst.

I have used my power to hurt;
to insult.

There are people who carry pain
because of me.

And what is worse
is that I have denied forgiveness
to people
for things
I could have done.

I tweak stories
and tell lies
to make an angel
out of me.

I have excused
my actions
to myself,
to be able to close
both my eyes
when I sleep.

Sometimes I wonder
if I’d be
better off
dead.
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