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461 · 2d
The End
eliana 2d
From lots of laughter, splashing and playing, and sharing memories
to it
coming to an end.
I just came back from my bsfs party. i had so much fun ,I feel sad now that it ended :(. Most likely wont see my whole friend group until school starts and I honestly feel like crying bc of it. (ik it sounds dumb)
271 · Jun 4
Battle Scars
eliana Jun 4
People don't realize what they're saying, they shout "wrist check!" And laugh, not understanding the feeling of unsticking their clothes from their body in the morning. They say "Let me scan your barcodes!" Not understanding the feeling of your skin breaking and knowing you did it to yourself. They'll never understand the guilt that comes with it, the feeling of failure, and the pain being the only thing you can feel. They won't understand why you did it, and neither can you. They won't understand. They will continue to shout these things not knowing what's underneath your shirt. They won't understand that you will have these reminders of your past on wedding day, they will be there forever. People don't realize what they're doing when they grab your wrists and turn them over and shout "what's that?" People don't get it. They will never.
um i wrote this a little while ago and uh its like a perspective of someone who cuts and people constantly bring them down for it. any tips please lmk <3
232 · Jun 23
Be The Spark
eliana Jun 23
Be strong and have courage
Soar among the stars
For you have a purpose
Be as bright as a wildfire

This is a message
For the damaged
For the broken
Even with your wreckage
God will help you to be outspoken

Be brave and kind
Be a light in the dark
Let your light shine
Be the spark
213 · Jun 30
If I Could
eliana Jun 30
If I could catch a rainbow,
I'd do so just for you
So you could share its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could, I'd buy an island
You could call it your very own,
A place to find serenity,
Where you could be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I'd throw them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
Are impossible for me.

'Cause I can't buy an island
Nor catch a rainbow fair,
So I'll just do what I do best:
Be someone who's always there.
i havent had any motivation or energy to write but i pulled myself together to write this one for lyle. i have read your recent poems and i wanna try to cheer you up. You have been there for me and I wanna be there for you.
199 · Jun 17
Wrist Cutter
eliana Jun 17
I slit my wrist to erase the pain.
you look at me and think I'm insane.
My eyes turn red, bleeding my tears,
and still you try to protect me from my worst fears.
Look at my scars, then you will see
why I can't seem to go around and fake happy,
yet you tell me you love me, that you'll forget,
for I'll soon be gone, and I'll be your greatest regret.
So let me die, broken and scarred,
I can't deal with life, it's getting far too hard.
Everything's gone wrong; it's not worth trying,
so leave me alone because I feel like I'm dying.
I don't want you to worry,
because my life is ending in a hurry.
I'll be fine and happy, you see,
for death is what I wished for and soon it will be.
ive been having the urge to relapse but i havent so im glad!
152 · Jun 19
someday.
eliana Jun 19
Someday you will cry for me
Like I cried for you.
Someday you'll miss me
Like I missed you.
Someday you'll need me
Like I needed you.
Someday you'll love me,
But I won't love you.
144 · Jun 27
One Look
eliana Jun 27
As I stand on that muddy grass field,
The roar of the cheering crowds
Is all I seem to hear.
No specific voices; it's all just a blur.
The only person I really notice
Is the yelling of my coach.

As I go to challenge the ball,
I think, "I want my coach to be proud of me."
The ball is at me feet, I have to be quick.
I dribble up the side of the field,
Cut in and cross, one touch,
From another player, and goal!
I know my coach is proud of me
From just one look.

Walking to the car,
Ball in hand, covered all in mud,
I receive compliments on a great game.
I say thanks, but all that matters
After the game winning goal
Is that one look from my coach.
feels like my life is over. only a a year to recover but thats a year of doing nothing. injuries ****.
141 · 7d
That Someone.
eliana 7d
Someone once told me,
"You’re shining. Even if it doesn’t always feel that way."
I in fact, have been feeling that way.

I sit and think about all the pain and problems I've gone through.
Thinking before, "I'm so done. What am I gonna do.??"
I now say to myself "I am so strong for keeping up and fighting my hardest. "

"I'm
so
proud
of
you."
To that person, you know who you are. Thank you for your kind and meaningful words. They have helped me more than you know.
137 · Jun 21
Eye Of Fire
eliana Jun 21
Your eyes are fire.
Their image burnt into my soul,
Scarred by beauty.
136 · 5d
battle scars 2
eliana 5d
Be brave.
You already are.
Look at what you've made it through.
The wounds of your past have healed.
The seemingly endless chapter has ended,
And those bruises have faded.
The battle, you survived,
And you are still here.
Be brave.
this poem  is about my battle scars. I hope it gives the people who have cut or are still cutting inspiration
134 · Jun 16
my world
eliana Jun 16
Roses are red, Violets are dying
Outside im smiling and inside im fighting
With all of my fears that keep telling me to stop trying
And all night long i have been crying because im scared of hanging and dying.
Cutting my wrists like its nothing but i just wanted to feel something
My family doesnt care but i think i just found someone who might dare.
Dare to tell me to stop all this sadness and finally feel some real happiness.
123 · Jun 21
Silent Healing
eliana Jun 21
How hard it is to heal a broken heart.
Everything seems so dark,
And it seems like the stars even lost their spark.
Loneliness just pulled me apart.
It even killed the dreams I have in my heart.
Now I see the light because I learned to write,
Giving the silent healing I need to free the sadness I was hiding inside.
everything that i cant voice is written and expressed through writing.
120 · Jun 24
Care And Happiness
eliana Jun 24
You came as a ray of light,
Made my life cheerful and bright,
Showering your affection over me
So that my face was full of glee.
Taking away my complete loneliness
And giving me back all the happiness
With a Midas touch of your care
To keep me away from despair.
I'll never leave you midway,
And tales of our bond people will say.
I wrote this poem to tell my best friend that her support and care during a period of loneliness and despair has helped me to regain happiness. though we are apart this summer, i look forward to seeing her soon and hanging out more.
116 · Jun 5
Misunderstood
eliana Jun 5
You say you understand.
Oh do you now?
Do you know what its like to feel abandoned or betrayed?
Do you know what its like to be the one out of billions as a  mistake?
You don't understand, you just don't.  You don't know what its like to sit at the dinner table eating steak, acting like I am not about to just break. I try so hard to act like i'm this happy jolly kid who has an incredible life and family. But deep inside, Im this teenager who is falling apart day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. Do you not realize what you've done to me? What you are doing to me? You keep me away locked up like im a cage without a key. Why cant you just let me be? So many questions i have that you can't answer, so many things that i can't fathom.  
Oh if only I wasn't a mistake.
i wrote this right now. i had some feelings i had to get out but ik  its not my best.
116 · Jun 27
I Love You
eliana Jun 27
I love you.
I truly do.
For all I've put you through and made you ask "Do you even love me? Do you??"
I'm sorry.
I love you so much.
So much to the point where I'd rather not tell you how I feel because I know that it would break you.
I can't show you the things that I go through.
The demons I face.
The never ending race.
The situations that make my heart beat race.
Because I truly love you.
i cant let her see the real me. because there shouldnt be a reason that im feeling this way. i love you nena.
110 · Jun 18
If You Must Go
eliana Jun 18
If you must go, then go for a while
Remember that first step is a hard traveled mile.

To learn what lessons life has in store,
You must be willing to open each door.

Don't be afraid to experience something new
For each experience will be a benefit to you.

Never live your life in the past
Enjoy every day as if it were your last

Mistakes you will make along the way
Learn from them, and you'll be okay

Set your goals high and strive for them
As long as you try, you'll never be condemned

Be kind and respect the people you meet
For they may be the ones to make life complete

Be sincere in everything you do
And treat others as you wish they would you

Whatever you do, make sure you're content
For the last thing you want is something to resent

So if you must go, then go for a while
And when you return, return with a smile.
I have had a  rough life of lot of negativity... but I am trying not to circle myself around people or things that bring me down anymore. With each new day that passes, I'm slowly learning how to let go and let God handle it.
107 · 3d
A Day Away
eliana 3d
Some feelings are shallow, some feelings are deep.
Some make us smile, some make us weep.

Some we love, some we don't.
Some we'll savor, some we won't.

Some grounding, some uplifting,
Some long-lasting, some constantly shifting.

No matter what feelings I'm feeling today,
I know tomorrow is only a day away.
A great tragedy occurs when the bad days numb us to the good ones. Try to enjoy the good days, because they don't last that long. Try not to fear the bad days, because they won't last that long. Whether time is currently your friend or foe, however it can help you today, remember today won't last that long.
96 · Jun 21
Every Day
eliana Jun 21
We've all been through thick.
We've all been through thin.
We've all been to the light
And back to the dark again.

Every day is a struggle.
Every day may be a new fight.
Every day may be a game,
And every day may leave a new scar.

But never forget that every day is new.
Every day is an adventure waiting for you
eliana Jun 17
Awaiting the news, we feared the worst and hoped for the best.
Life was about to put my family through an unforgettable test
Mom came in, evidence on her face, that granny wasn't okay
"Wita has cancer" mom cried.

I didn't sleep that night, that night was one of the worst
I have been to a funeral before, but I feared wita's would be the worst.
I cried myself to sleep, and little did I get
I wasn't ready to lose my  grandma yet

After the countless treatments and medicines,nothing seemed to work. I visited Wita in her bed, and I don't mean to be rude
But seeing her like this scared me, she looked like a skeleton decorated in tube.
It was exceptionally difficult not to cry, but I tried oh so hard.
I walked over, hugged Wita tight, and held her hand hard. I didn't want to leave her side.

I said in my head: Wita I hope you get well soon, I know you'll be okay
It's okay to be scared, we'll visit you everyday.
And when you get home, things will change, we won't ever fight, it's true.
Wita never give up, keep on fighting...
I don't want to lose you.

As her eyes closed, and she took her last breath
That was the moment my heart dropped, and I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't.
I hugged her for what felt like forever, cried on her, and quickly did time pass.
I never wanted to stop saying "I love you" for fear it would be the last.

Suddenly I was being pulled away, being told it was gonna be okay.
That was the worst day.
I miss you wita, may you rest peacefully ❤️🕊️ . Cancer *****!!
94 · Jun 30
Just One More Day
eliana Jun 30
If I had just one more day...
I'd tell you I loved you.
I'd tell you I need you.
I'd tell you that you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

If I had just one more day...
I'd give you that one last hug.
I'd give you a kiss goodbye.
I'd give you my world.

If I had just one more day...
I'd show you how much I really loved you.
I'd show you why I loved you.
I'd show you why I NEED you.

If I had just one more day,
it would be okay for you to go away.

My life is so lost without you here.
Please come back, for just one more day...
just one.  (another draft)
92 · 4d
whats next?
eliana 4d
I lie awake tonight,
Wishing of things I can change.
I try to convince myself,
But it's all so strange.

Is it me,
Or is it you?
Do I try,
Or are we through?

So long we've shared
Just to walk away.
But so much hurt
To want to stay.

Why do we do this,
Try to hurt the other more,
Only to watch one
Walk right out the door?

I love you so much,
Yet I push you to the point of breaking,
But why do you play with my heart
And never stop taking?

Is this the end
Or a new beginning?
Only one can guide me
When my head is spinning.

Don't push,
Don't try,
Don't stress,
Don't cry.

That is what plays
Over in my head
As I try to close my eyes
And just go to bed.
draft
90 · Jun 27
loneliness
eliana Jun 27
Aching heart and mind
Needs touch of a caring soul
Yearning company.
this summer is not the best ive had out of all the years. just want time to go by fast.
eliana Jun 21
There will be dark days,
when you feel alone
with your aching heart
but that doesn’t mean
you will always be.
The sun will always
peer through the clouds.
Let its light show you
the love you have forgotten.
to lyle, ive seen that you seem down by ur poems so may this help and to anybody else who needs it! 💗
87 · Jun 20
if i thought
eliana Jun 20
If I thought for just one moment that this would be my last breath,
I'd tell you I'll love you forever, even beyond death.
If I thought for just one moment that your face would be the last I'd see,
I'd take a million pictures and save them just for me.
If I thought for just one moment that your voice would be the last I'd hear,
I'd listen attentively and promise not to shed a tear.
If I thought for just one moment that your touch would be the last I'd feel,
I'd embrace you and know that this has all been real.
If I thought for just one moment that my heart would beat its last beat,
I'd thank the Lord for allowing us to meet.
to my bestfriend. i wish i could show her this but im just to scared lol none of my friends know i do poetry.
87 · Jun 17
Not What I Seem
eliana Jun 17
We live in a generation
Where the lack of verbal conversation
has made all of us blind.
We all hide behind
our shiny, protective screens
where what words truly mean
is blanketed by lighthearted connotations
followed by a lack of punctuation.

But those lighthearted phrases
Cause others to go through phases
Where the light is stolen from their hearts.
They see what others call jokes
as simply a hoax
to disguise with lies
the darkness hiding behind their eyes.
It is intended to hurt,
to prove their worth
and to unearth all your insecurities.
While some go through phases
others get caught in mazes
that drag them ever deeper
into the fiery flame pit of self hate.

This self hate, they do not appreciate.
They let themselves bite the bait
instead of getting the story straight.

We live in a time where the muscles of our thumbs
are stronger than the muscles of our minds.
Enough so that our eyes are blind
to the downfalls and issues of mankind.
“If I can’t see it, it isn’t there.”
Oh, but our satellites, those things up there?
And the tectonic plates below us where
some of the greatest destruction brews without a care.
...Those exist, right?
You can’t see those.
So you shove those away,
like a box of old clothes
and make way for your own
delightful fantasy you call your own.

“Life is hard.”
You don’t know hard,
until you see the scars
someone gouged into themselves
to escape the iron bars
weighing them down to life.

You don’t know hard
until you see someone’s mutation
from normalization
to one of pure starvation of love,
and devastation,
because they were a victim of miscreation.

You say you’re not bullies,
but you destroy someone’s life with relative ease,
tearing down their fragile shield of protection
and steering them in the wrong direction.

Just a simple word, directed towards someone,
“Stupid.” “Fat.” “Ugly.”
Can remove a person’s life completely of glee,
make the light vanish from their soul,
and make their life seem like the Dust Bowl.
There is no “making amends.”
So the next time you open your lips
and put your hands on your hips,
before the words roll off the tip
of your tongue,
Look into their eyes
and be willing to compromise
because you don’t know how they feel inside.
Sometimes it is better to be silent than to be heard
because the tragedies caused by the spoken word
are better left unheard.

Everyone has dreams,
and everything is not what it seems,
and before you see the streams
of tears running down their face
as they scream in frustration
that their life is a state of desolation
you’re better off being silent,
than violent.

And just as everything is not what it seems,
I…
am not what I seem...
eliana Jul 2
As the fireworks
Burst around in
Circles and all the
Different designs, the
Evening gets longer. So cheers
For all the
Good times we've
Had.
I wouldn't trade them for anything. It's
Just so bitter sweet.
Kids having the time of their lives,
Lost in time.
Memories in the making.
Noises of the summer.
Overwhelming excitement in the air.
Patriotism, the red, white, and blue.
Quick little moments fly by.
Relatives and friends having a blast.
Smells of good ole homemade cooking. Just some
Toasting and traditions along the way.
Unbelievable love and sacrifice.
Visioning every night like this one.
Water balloons flying in the air.
eXpectations of the night, blown away.
Yelling and singing every word to every song.
Zoned in on honor and enjoying life on the 4th of July.
i will not be able to write as i am going on vacation so happy 4th of july ! (early)
85 · Jun 21
Inside Out
eliana Jun 21
Outside lives a girl with a smile that will brighten up the room,
yet inside hides a girl with a frown full of despair.

Outside lives a girl with eyes of joy that bring you to ease,
yet inside hides a girl shedding tears of sadness.

Outside lives a girl with a beautiful laugh that's contagious,
yet inside hides a girl screaming her lungs out in unwanted anger.

Outside lives a girl with the personality everyone envies,
yet inside hides a girl full of insecurities and shame.

Outside lives a girl who is fearless and tough,
yet inside hides a weak girl who lives in fear.

Outside lives a girl full of life,
yet inside hides a girl full of pain, wanting to die.

Outside lives a girl with a perfect image,
yet inside hides a girl with regrets and mistakes.

Outside lives a girl of innocence,
yet inside hides a girl with tremendous guilt.

Outside lives a girl with goals and aspirations,
yet inside lives a girl lost in confusion.

What you see on the outside is my personal disguise.
What hides underneath, you can't even begin to imagine.
you never know what someone is going through. people only see what you let them see.
81 · Jun 27
Through Thick And Thin
eliana Jun 27
I could skip a heartbeat, and I would survive.
I could be in a car crash and still be alive.
The clouds could fall out of the sky.
The oceans could disappear and all turn dry.

These things in life are all bad, I know,
but there's far worse things, just thought you should know.

Life would not be the same without someone like you.
You're there when I need you to help me through.
Through the good times and through the bad,
Be them happy or be them sad.

I don't have to be with you to know you're there.
We don't have to see each other to know that we care.
We could be apart for years upon end
and still remain the best of friends.

Life goes on, and people change,
And through it all, our friendship shall remain the same.
That's such as life and how things come to be.
Just thought you should know how much you mean to me!
wish she knew she saved me from such awful things. i hope to be there for her in the way she is there for me ❤️
eliana Jun 25
People say it is a field,
A lovely field of happiness.
With flowers spread,
Throughout this field.
Skies,
So clear and blue.
The sun,
Shining ever so brightly.
Birds chirping as if it were
The first of spring.
Rabbits hopping around
As if they could go on
For forever and eternity.
As the creatures enjoy,
Enjoy this wonderful place,
For it makes everything
Joyful, exciting, and happy.
A dark cloud has come,
Taken up the rays of sunlight.
With one cloud,
Brings many clouds.
The flowers,
Have now died,
And weeds
Have taken their place.
The skies
Are no longer clear and blue.
The sun
No longer shines with the rays,
The rays from the heavens above,
Instead it rains,
Rains as if it were meant to do so.
Birds no longer chirp as if it were
The first of spring.
Rabbits don't feel the need to hop,
For they won't go on,
For forever and eternity.
People say it's like a field,
A lovely field of happiness.
They don't understand,
For every field of flowers,
There is a single ****,
That one **** eventually spreads,
And takes over the flowers
Replacing them as if
They have never existed.
For every time,
It is sunny and blue,
There will always be
That one small, dark cloud,
Hovering right near by.
There is no such
Thing as a lovely field of happiness,
Every field has its flaw.
It is a field everyone lives in
Some point in life.
Once you are in this field,
There is no way of escaping,
There is no way in making it perfect,
For there will always be that one,
That one **** or cloud,
Standing in your way,
Of perfection and happiness
Everyone wonders what life really does have to offer and wonders what the meaning of "The Perfect Life" is. The truth is there isn't one.
81 · Jul 2
Untitled
eliana Jul 2
I beg to you.
I cry to you.
I wait for you.
Do you even care?
Are you even listening?
I mean i've been getting closer to you more than ever.
I've been doing better for you. For me. For my family.
But hey,

Not ever your best is enough.
seems like ive been waiting the longest, waiting so **** patiently for God to give me a miracle, a blessing. Instead my whole world is falling down and i cant save it. im not sure i wanna write poetry rn im struggling to be alive and i have no motivation. sorry , im not sure when ill come back.
80 · Jun 20
Everyone Is Searching
eliana Jun 20
Everyone is searching
for the missing piece in life.
The key to unlock the door
and steal back all lost time.
Searching, looking, restless,
scanning every crack and crevice,
lying awake at night,
dreamless, empty presence.
Your broken heart
from years and years
lets laughter fall onto
your deaf ears.
No happiness is enough.
No joy can be felt.
Everyone is searching
for something to heal themselves,
yet no medicine is strong enough,
no key can ever be turned
to give us what we want the most,
to give us what we yearn.
The thing we want is an illusion.
Our perceptions are distorted.
The Snow Queen's looking glass
when it dropped and shattered.
All is worth what we rate it,
all ranked by how we place it.
Chasing what cannot be found
instead of choosing to be content.
Wanting what we do not have,
a dream that cannot be,
a masterpiece of mirages,
all too soon we believe.
When will we begin
to accept what is here?
The present day in which we live,
not the past or future.
When will we stop searching
and decide we don't need more?
Only then we will find
what we've been looking for.
The good you have is here,
yet you keep looking on,
never realizing what you had
until it is gone.
80 · Jun 30
False Identity
eliana Jun 30
Sometimes
I wish that you could see
This scared girl inside of me.
I'm not really as I seem.
I'm not tough, strong, or mean.
That isn't me.

This isn't the real me.
I fight by day,
Yet cry at night.
No one can see through
My false identity.

I've been hurt,
As you can see,
So I created
A fake me.

No one ever tries
To get through my shield.
All I want to be is me.

How do I show
What I've kept hidden for years?
How do I show
All the silent fears?

What would you think
If I showed you me?
What would you say
Without my false identity?
i couldve sworn i thought i posted this but maybe it was a glitch so heres this..
78 · Jun 21
Life Of A Poet
eliana Jun 21
pen and "P"aper
poems and qu"O"tes
     writing's th"E" refuge
                  tha"T" gives me hope
         it release"S" the hurt

  and feelings o"F" pain.
           It clears "O"ut  the worries
               that d"R"ive us insane.

                       I'l"L" forever be grateful.
                  Noth"I"ng compares.
      For all that I "F"ace,
        poetry is th"E"re.
glad i discovered poetry.
78 · Jun 21
Tapestry
eliana Jun 21
If I could take a brush and paint the mountains and the moors,
I would splash the hillsides yellow and cover them in gorse.
I'd take the finest needle and the darkest thread of green
And sew a line of bracken along the landscape. In-between

I'd lay a purple carpet of wild heather in the dells
And fringe the edge of all the woods with their pretty lilac bells.
I'd merge the bracken with the heather, mix their colours like the sea,
A green and purple ocean on my own rich tapestry.

Then I'd take a ball of soft, white wool and stitch a mass of daisy chains
Around the lush green meadows and up the sides of winding lanes.
I would stencil on the marshes, just like pure white china cups,
Some fragile water lilies and by the ponds, sweet buttercups.

I'd mix orange, reds and yellows planting poppies wild and free
Onto nature's coloured canvas, my own rich tapestry.
78 · Jun 27
Untitled
eliana Jun 27
You and me alone
Madness of world locked away
Peace and quiet reigns
another haiku. i was thinking of my grandma. ❤️🕊️
76 · Jun 21
Love
eliana Jun 21
I am over you.
Then my eyes meet yours once more,
and I fall in love.
cant keep my eyes off of him
75 · Jun 21
Tell Me It's Okay.
eliana Jun 21
Tell me it's okay
To just want to cry.
Tell me it's okay
To never say goodbye.

Tell me it's okay
To be afraid to be strong.
Tell me it's okay
And that you're comin' along.

Tell me it's okay
And that you're staying by me.
Tell me it's okay,
And that this life is meant to be.

Tell me it's okay
To feel how I'm feeling.
Tell me it's okay -
The way that I am dealing.

Tell me it's okay -
That there is a reason for it all.
Tell me it's okay,
Even if I fall.

Tell me it's okay
To lose control today.
Tell me it's okay.
Just tell me it's okay.
75 · Jun 19
A Simple Plan
eliana Jun 19
Simple Sam was a simple man.
He lived each day by a simple plan.
Enjoy your life and live while you can.
Make each day count and take a stand.

Stand on the left or stand on the right,
Whichever one you think is right.
Live each day as if your last.
Life's too short and gone too fast.
but life isn't always that simple. or is it?
eliana Jun 23
Ice cold
frozen home
psychotic tone
I'm in a coma with Osmosis Jones
I should have known
That if I got to blown
I'd be stuck here all alone

Lesson learned now it burns blue
Like a dry ice brain freeze mentally abused
Split paths loyalty or love so much to lose
Better choose young blood before the devil comes to you

Click clack. Click clack. Click clack.
a reminder of the past
The golden apple god forbid me to grasp
Temptation took its toll and consumed me. . .
And cast the Devil's curse ~ he had me at last
My soul changed
Hell's chorus sang
His reaper came
And unleashed his chain
I strip you of all you love
Walk the earth alone in the dirt and the mud . . .

I put the blood in the jug
Now solitude is the only friend that has my back
It creeps on me as I lay ~ a ghost in a box
Tic Toc. Tic Toc. Tic Toc.

I hear laughter as I lay purple and blue
My eyes see red
Swollen half dead
Stabbed in my bed
By the spear of destiny . . .

Two maidens rise
The sun and the moon
They see right through my disguise
The black thorns embedded in my heart by my own devices
One too many vices
Forsaken by reality
The black thorns consumed me
Set me me free
I pleaded
Put an end to this monstrosity by ending me...
I should have known they would pity me
Instead they cleansed the beast in me

The sun shined her rays and warmed my home
I cannot bring them back, but your loved ones gave me light so you'd never feel alone
The moon gave me a voice to battle my insanity
I cannot take your pain, but speak and your words will grant you serenity.
I thanked the sun
And fell in love with the moon
But she lived in the sky and left too soon

So now I speak to her with poetry
Standing here hoping she'll notice me
But till then I'll keep using this gift
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
I will turn pain into strength
66 · Jun 23
Contemplation
eliana Jun 23
Be careful with that.
Well, it's running in my vein.
The devil on my shoulder
Is nestled in my brain.
Every time i think about it,
Im boxed in underground
Eluding all the answers
As I buy another round
Walking past the mirrors
Im not looking at myself
Im staring at the noose
Thats hanging from my shelf.
There could be a comfort there.
A certain kind of peace.
While I'm stuck inside this chapter,
I am lost within the crease.
pt 1.
66 · Jun 18
I'm Fine
eliana Jun 18
When she smiles and laughs,
It no longer sounds hollow,
For she has learned
To mask her sorrow.
She's so uncertain
Of why she is sad.
Her life is fine now.
Why does it hurt so bad?
Tears won't fall.
She forgot how to cry.
Most of the time
She just wants to die.
She's obsessed with this concept
That skinny is perfect.
She pukes if she eats
Just trying to feel worth it.
She looks in the mirror
And hates what she sees.
She slices her skin
Screaming, "I don't wanna be me!"
But by tomorrow
No one will know
She'll smile and laugh.
The scars won't show.
They think she is better.
They couldn't be more wrong.
She plays the part well.
They think she is strong.
Now and again
Someone sees past her mask.
They study her face
And quietly ask.
She looks back smiling
And she says, "I'm fine,"
But the sad truth is
She always lies.
eliana 7d
Time is slow, time is fast.
It never stops, but it always lasts.
It's time for bed, it's time for school.
To waste your time is to be a fool.

If the time is right, the timing will be perfect.
Having the time of your life will always be worth it.
Some spend their time mad,
Some spend their time sad.
For some people time is all they ever had.

Some spend their time and some people save it.
Some love wasting time and some people hate it.
People waste time being in jail
People waste time being mad when they fail.

Some people have lots of time to spare.
Others spend their time not having a care.
It's time to stop, it's time to go.
Time can move fast or it can move slow.

You can lose yourself or lose your mind,
But as life goes on you will never lose time.
been thinking about time and passing. (draft)
65 · Jun 21
The Darkness
eliana Jun 21
You would never know it,
The constant pain I feel,
Because in the light of day
It almost isn't real.

Sure, I'll play, I'll laugh,
I'll sing some songs,
But that pain is always lurking
Because it's been here all along.

And when the darkness comes
With its all-consuming power,
It slowly takes my soul
Hour by dreadful hour.

But they tell me that I'm strong enough.
They swear that it gets better.
They say, "If you can just hold out
and bear this stormy weather."

They tell me, "You will be happy one day.
All you need do is fight."
But what they seem to forget
Is after each day comes the night.

And so I act along.
I play my part
While this crushing darkness
Slowly breaks my heart.
soon.
eliana Jun 26
To me, you're like an angel, sent by God above,
To cleanse my soul of sadness and fill it with love.
You are my inspiration, and I want to thank you,
For without you, I don't know what I would do.
You've changed my life around
And turned my frown upside down.
You have shown me the way
So that I will never stray.
For this I want to thank you again,
For staying close by and being a friend.
And to end this off, I just wanted to say
That if you need a friend,
I'll be there till the very end.
its only been a year since we became friends but i hope we are best friends forever. i hope we all stick together.
63 · Jun 21
drafts
eliana Jun 21
im gonna be posting all my drafts i currently have so yea poem dump i guess..
62 · Jun 21
In Spite Of You
eliana Jun 21
Angry
Mad
Livid
Furious
******
At you

Sad
Depressed
Heartbroken
Morose
Melancholy
Because of you

Unbreakable
Strong
Resilient
Flexible
Tough
In spite of you.
i am who i am in spite of you.
eliana Jun 27
The plates will still shift
and the clouds will still spew.
The sun will slowly rise
and the moon will follow too.

Life’s beauty will continue
to flourish all around,
but now you are gone,
these birds have no sound.

And my heart does not beat.
It is still inside my chest.
My tears keep on falling
and my head will not rest.

But I have no choice only
to move through this life.
Endlessly attempting
to fill this longing that is rife.
draft
60 · Jun 17
Forever Grateful
eliana Jun 17
I don't think you will
Ever fully understand
How you've touched my life
And made me who I am.

I don't think you could ever know
Just how truly special you are,
That even on the darkest nights
You are my brightest star.

You've allowed me to experience
Something very hard to find,
Unconditional love that exists
In my body, soul, and mind.

I don't think you could ever feel
All the love I have to give,
And I'm sure you'll never realize
You've been my will to live.

You are an amazing person,
And without you I don't know where I'd be.
Having you in my life
Completes and fulfills every part of me.
i love you bestfriend and im so glad i met yu 💗.
60 · Jun 19
if.
eliana Jun 19
if.
but if i was that person you told me not to worry about
would you have fought harder?

if i was the girl you wanted and not the one you "settled for"
would you have stayed?
would you?
eliana Jun 24
When resentment and offense
Invade the very crevices of your heart
It burns fierce like sulfur
As it forces love to depart.

Causing only the mention of a name
To consume you with hate
As its poison reeks havoc
on the next generation's fate

This grudge festers on
Keeping you imprisoned in pain
Causing every life force around you
To bear the effects of your strain

For hate and love
Cannot reside in one heart
Just as hate takes a family
And tears it all apart

Without forgiveness the heart dies
As it mourns the loss of love
Never understanding its very being
Is created in the heavens above

So then, how can we be reconciled
To God, who is LOVE, the creator of life
If the heart still remains
Unforgiving and full of strife?

I believe mankind's greatest lesson
What we are sent here to learn
Is how to love God and our neighbor
Before we return

So what's more valuable to you
Is it love or is it pride?
Because a heart without love
Has already died!

And understand that if pride
Is what you choose
There are many generations to follow
Who have everything to lose!

Ask love to return again
And invade every crevice of your heart
Seek the courage to make amends
Let love give you a new start!
draft after a broken family tree
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