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 Jun 23 eliana
S
-
 Jun 23 eliana
S
-
Constantly
chasing
a
high
that
no
longer
feels
good
 Jun 23 eliana
Liana
Can't cut
 Jun 23 eliana
Liana
I can't cut
No more
No
No
No
I promised

But the feelings are so strong
Overflowing me
I need them to pour down my arm
And out of my body

I can't
I can't be that weak
I just need to breathe
...
My lungs fail me

But no
No
No
I can't reach for it
Not allowed
Not anymore
Done with that, right?
I really just want to grab the knife
Razor
Needle
Anything
And end this misery
At least soothe it a little

But no
No
No
No
I can't
Trying to quit so so hard, haven't done anything yet
 Jun 22 eliana
lizie
i think i’m like the sun.
you bask in me,
let me warm you,
fill you.
i light you up in ways
you didn’t know you needed.

and it feels good,
until it doesn’t.
until you wake up
burnt,
red,
empty.
betrayed by the very thing
you thought was saving you.

i never meant to hurt you.
i only meant to glow.
but maybe i don’t know
how to shine
without setting fire.
 Jun 22 eliana
star
carry on
 Jun 22 eliana
star
carry on 5.7.25 (3:39 pm)
sure, maybe everything is going wrong
it’s always been ****** up
i was just too busy to notice

but we’ve always got to carry on
carry on,
carry on, hold your baggage close
hold a suitcase full of memories
wear a backpack full of grief
they might hurt your shoulders for now
but these kinds of things make you stronger

carry on,
carry the ones you love with you
carry on, always carry on

maybe you’ve lied
and maybe you’ll lie again
but we can forget and carry on

maybe you’ve betrayed me
and maybe you will again
but i can forgive
and carry on

carry on
because what else can we do?

[playing: imperfect for you by ariana grande]
i don't know if i've posted this before or not
 Jun 22 eliana
star
too sad for words 6.21.25 (5:10 pm / 17:10)
i am just so sad sometimes
too sad for words
 Jun 21 eliana
star
seasonal depression 6.20.25 (4:30 pm / 16:30)
summer makes me sad this year
i can’t remember if it’s always been this way
i feel empty without school even though that’s what made me like this

pointless without some kind of schedule and goal
it’s so peaceful now
but i’m alone with my thoughts
even this sadness is wrong
most people are more depressed in the winter
or so they say

i stopped drawing and my sketchbook is full of poems
in dying pen

summer makes me sad this year
the way i’ve changed so much i can’t even remember how i was
before

[playing: rocket ships by cavetown]
 Jun 21 eliana
Daniii
No lo sé.
Y nadie lo sabe.
Pero a veces…
cuando me duermo cansado del mundo,
siento que la muerte se parece a eso:
a rendirse con dignidad.
a soltar el cuerpo como quien suelta una mentira.

Pienso —en las madrugadas largas—
si la conciencia sobrevive al polvo.
Si lo que soy,
lo que fui,
y todo lo que callé…
viaja a algún lugar donde no hacen falta palabras.

¿Será que el alma se levanta
cuando el cuerpo se cae?

¿Será que despertar
es morir a este sueño llamado vida?

Tal vez morir
es volver a casa.
Tal vez nacimos dormidos,
y nos pasamos la existencia
recordando algo que olvidamos al llegar.

Y si al final…
todo esto —todo lo que siento—
es solo un reflejo en un charco,
una chispa breve en la oscuridad,
una pregunta que nadie responde
porque la respuesta no cabe en palabras.

Y sin embargo…
hay algo en mí
que no quiere desaparecer.

Algo que quiere mirar a los ojos
al misterio,
y decirle:
aún sin entenderte,
yo viví.

Derechos de autor ©️

~Daniii
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