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 Jun 29 eliana
star
it's true
 Jun 29 eliana
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it's true 6.29.25 (10:10 am / 10:10)
its true very true
you never miss someone as much as you do
when they are
gone
i don't know how to say this i don't know what to do i can't
 Jun 28 eliana
RED
The Last Day
 Jun 28 eliana
RED
It was the day you felt so awake,
Looking so weak—too tired to fake.
You spoke of dreams, but not with cheer,
You softly whispered, “I’m going, dear.”

Maybe you were shedding silent tears,
But it made my heart break, pierced by fears.
No final hug, no reason why,
Just aching silence in your eyes.

And then you disappeared…
 Jun 28 eliana
RED
I saw the moon and fell asleep,
Its light was calm, its silence deep.
But when I woke, the moon had gone—
The sun had come, and took the throne.

He said, “Wake up. Go take what’s yours,
No more dreams behind closed doors.”

The moon is loved for bringing peace,
But the sun? He burns, yet never leaves.
Tired, alone—but still he shone.
And that day,
I chose the sun.
I chose the strong one.
 Jun 28 eliana
RED
I fell for the ocean,
Knowing he loves everyone.
But every wave that touched my skin
Felt like a promise—until it was done.

I watched others play in the same tide,
And smiled, pretending I was fine inside.
It was a mistake, I won’t forget...
But one I carry
With no regret.
 Jun 28 eliana
star
no one ever told me 6.24.25 (4:21 pm / 16:21)
why is it that no one ever prepares you
no one ever thinks you might come to a place like this
that you'll stray off the path and be drawn to the darkest corners of the forest

no one ever explains to you how sadness works
how it clings to you
and you can never shake it off
how it hides and then snaps its teeth bites you
when you dare to be happy

no one ever warns you about panic attacks
how you'll suddenly be dying dying dying
breath gone

no one ever tells you about the dark
how it consumes you
and becomes you
how you become empty
gone
alone

no one every tells you how to be okay
how to stop wanting oblivion death nothing
how to stop cutting
how to be happy

or it seems at least no one ever told me

[playing: second guessing by alina]
 Jun 28 eliana
star
beautiful
 Jun 28 eliana
star
beautiful 6.24.25 (4:42 pm / 16:42)
sometimes the world is terrible
horrible and ugly and disgusting

sometimes
rarely
it's beautiful

[playing: sunshine by rainbow frog biscuits and heaven by clairo]
 Jun 28 eliana
star
alive for you 6.26.25 (9:13 pm / 21:13)
i like to think i stay alive for you
i like to believe i breathe for you
i like to imagine my heart beats for you

i might be wrong
i'm probably crazy
it's a nice thought, anyways

[playing: the lakes - bonus track by taylor swift]
 Jun 28 eliana
star
your footprints are still there 6.25.25 (12:41 pm / 12:41)
your footprints are still there
pressed into the beach
unmarred unmarked unblemished by the tide

you seem endless

i guess there are still happy things
drawing stars in damp sand
saying
i was here

i was here, you were here
i said we share this place now

your footprints are still there
but mine
too close to the water
too close to the relentless currents
they were washed away

the sand says i was never here

[playing: rises the moon by liana flores]
 Jun 28 eliana
star
second chances 6.27.25 (3:24 pm / 15:24)
i know i deserve this
i know i did this to myself

but is a second ******* chance so much to ask for
please like i actually need someone to forgive me for once it seems like once you mess up no one ever forgets. i've apologized so many times
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