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 5d eliana
lizie
i drain him.
i know it.
and still,
i stay.

i say i’m trying,
but really,
i’m cracking.
i’m drowning
with his lungs
in my chest.

next i’ll bleed
through his arms,
sob
through his eyes,
wreck
what’s left
of his heart.

i was never
meant
to be held.
You Are the Texture

…………………………

~ for all of you,
you, you poet~



Impasto

is a technique used in painting,
where paint is laid on an area of
the surface thickly, usually thick
enough that the brush or  painting-
knife strokes are visible.

Paint can also be mixed right on
to the canvas. When dry, impasto
provides texture; the paint appears
as if, to be coming out of the canvas.


<1:47pm>

Cut & Paste

is a technique used in poetry writing,
we refer back to our visions,
heard words,
the eyeful, the earful, scents,
the reads read,
all in the mind’s palette blended,
thickly, but
when

the merging fused,
every word~in~coloration,
it is unique, reincarnation,
copying impossible.

The imagery, cut and pasted from thy heart and soul,
upon canvas,
your poems~pieces each appear

as you-are-texture,
you becoming out of, you,
the canvas.

<2:04pm>


Postscript*
………………

it is not lost on me that the
scars, our words, herein,
as we note all too frequently,
almost casually,
are, can be, those selfsame
words/painting-knife
employed
for our first and foremost canvas we utilize,

ourselves…
our bodies,
our
very selves
salved
Fri Jun 23
2023
What good are my words?
They're only reaching deaf ears.
I can only speak.
My biggest fear was
My loved ones, passing, dying
I guess it’s because
Being lonely is mortifying

That was such a mindful
Thing to be scared of
Like I am forgetful
But I never forget love

Yet now I am afeared
Frightened maybe
They cheered
I didn’t see

I missed out
I feel scared, but also mad
That’s what this is about
I am so afraid, it makes me sad

It’s so selfish
My biggest wish is to be happy
I want to distinguish
The world not being ******

And one of my deepest fears
Is ending up like you
My eyes filled with tears
Not knowing what to do.
Remembering pets,
that we had to have put down.
Their love knew no end.
 5d eliana
star
i wish you'd write back to me 7.19.25 5:39 pm /17:39
oh, -------,
sometimes i wish you would write a letter back to me.

sometimes i wish you would log onto your old macbook
instinctively go to hellopoetry.com
type in my ariana grande username
find me and my words
find it, these lost sentences,
these trembling letters
i've been trying to send you.

i see why you don't-
the fear that maybe,
one day,
we will wake up and realize we don't love each other
that we don't know each other like we think
we do.

i haven't sent you a letter
because i don't want you to know but i want you to know
that i love you
but what if, what if, what if
one day i don't?

the uncertainty of being not torn apart
but drifting
finding someone new and
figuring out ourselves, finally,
finding that we don't need each other anymore.

of course that's not why you love me
or why i love you

i get that
i get that fear.

but you are not afraid
because you don't even know
that this whole time

i have been screaming
your name.
Till the final hour.
I will love your precious heart.
Endings come with care.
You do not love me
You just love the idea,
of being in love.
 5d eliana
Mira
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In the darkest gloom,
A mother's love is a spark,
It illuminates and blooms,
It  gives us a dash of hope,
and guides like a loom,
It wraps around tenderly,
a gift given straight from the womb.
i wrote this for mother's day even though its july >-<
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