beauty is what she craves to find
when she searches the mirror for an answer.
and an empty answer always requires
a need for one

she tells me now that those happy pictures were empty smiles of self hatred and pain.
she says how this is how it has been.
i think of all the nights where i cried over my troubles.
i think of all the nights she was probably suffering along with me.
if i could see what she was thinking when i asked if her day was okay,
there would be essays of
no
no
no.

- a.g.

"goodbye for now."

goodbye is a funny word
for it has no time limit
of permanent
or temporary.

i knew i could handle this.
three weeks isn't that long
and i've been through worse.
but it's the little moments that make me miss you even more.

i miss you when we finish playing and i am left waiting for the page to turn.
i miss you when i instinctively turn around to see if i'm ahead of you in spanish.
i miss you when sammy complains about not being able to see the board and i don't hear someone else going "same" and throwing up sarcastic peace signs.
i miss you when your name goes on the board for missing another quiz.
i miss you whenever someone mentions how cute their dog is.
i miss you when i accidentally open your locker instead of vio's, and i am left staring at the ghost of an empty shell of a person.

it's the little things that make your heart ache a little more.

- a.g.

Are you okay?
Are you alright, are you fine, are you good?
Are you adequate, are you decent?
Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to?
Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up?
Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no?
Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay?

You will be okay.
You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good.
You will be adequate, you will be decent.
You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you.
You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily
You
are going to be okay.
So please smile sunshine
It’s a fine new day
To be okay :)

- a.g.

I can't sleep
Everytime I remember your words
They snap and recoil
And hurt me awake
Next time when someone
Promises me forever
I'll just smile
Look them in the eyes and ask
How long is forever to you.

I cannot compose brilliant poems, sonnets, or verses,

and I cannot speak to you in Latin or Greek;

I cannot move you with any language made up by man.

Love is the only only language I could touch you with

If you only knew how much I could love you.

If you knew I love you;

If I were brave enough to tell you at all.

We're almost touching.
we were walking side by side,
you're talking about cabs in your hometown.
I can feel the gravity of your hand, calling my fingers
whispering "it's alright."

We're touching but not quite.
you held my shoulder to protect me from the passing cars.
and for the first time in a long while, I felt so fragile.
In this world where I find it hard even to breathe,
you believed me.

I almost said it.
All I need is one ounce of strength to tell you every single thing that I have ever felt about you.

I want to find home in your collarbones.
Would you be kind enough to let a stranger in?
I want to seep in your being because I'm cold.
The world is harsh and my cracks are aching.

Almost.

Ill always smile
when I think
about you.
Your soft touch,
your sweet smile,
your gentle laughter.
You give me hope;
hope about people
and about society.
Our paths crossed
for only a short while
but you made my
heart flutter,
you caught me
in a way I’ll always
remember.
-JRM

You asked me why I like you
But I didn’t want to tell
Some of my reasons are cheesy...
But here is why I fell

I love the way your lips curve
When I make you smile
It makes me want to pull you close
And kiss you for awhile

I love the way your eyes twinkle
When you talk about things you love
I truely believe
You are a gift from above

I love that you are compassionate
You have such a big heart
That was the first thing I noticed
Right from the start

I love the way it feels
When you hold me tight
I finally feel safe
Like I could sleep through the night

I love that you don’t judge me
For my less than perfect self
That is more attractive
Than any amount of wealth

There are so many more reasons
But I’ll start with just this few
Maybe someday
I’ll give this poem to you

:)

And if you are to love,
Love as the moon loves.
It doesn't steal the night,
It only unveils the beauty of the dark.

And if you are to love,
Love as the rain loves.
It doesn't wet the bodies,
It only washes the sad dirt of the souls.

And if you are to love,
Love as the wind loves.
It doesn't drift away,
It only cleanse you to the core by invading through each pore.

And if you are to love,
Love as the sun loves.
It doesn't radiates heat,
It only pours its warmth on you to enlighten your way.

And if you are to love,
Love as the star loves.
It doesn't delightfully twinkles,
It only reminds you that not even death can separate two hearts.

And so forth,
if you are to love
Love as the whole universe
& not just a part of it.