Have you ever held in pain to the point where it seemed like you didn't care?
You could've sworn you were crying,
But when you went to wipe tears away there was nothing there?
Going through life empty,
Just letting the world pass you by.
Numb to any feelings,
Just wishing you could die.
I feel like this daily.
So lost I don't know what to feel.
When in fact I do feel pain, I can't believe that it's real.
So as I lay my head down tonight,
I close my eyes and pray.
I pray that God will give me guidance and to maybe feel someday.

I come when pain
Becomes too much to take.
I come when you're sad,
Or your heart starts to break.

I might come when you panic,
I might come when you're mad.
I'll show up here and there,
When enough is what you've had.

I'm salty and warm,
I might be big or small.
Sometimes when you're strong,
I don't come up at all.

I fill your eyes with moisture,
I roll down your cheek.
Sometimes I mean joyous,
Sometimes I mean weak.

Sometimes when you're scared,
I come as a sign of fear.
You can feel when I'm coming,
Whether far or near.

I may come along
When you hear your favorite song.
Sometimes I show up
When you've been strong for too long.

I know you want to fly away.
I know inside you're a mess.
You long for a brighter day.
Tears are words the heart can't express.

i make it hard to love me.
i pull away when i need someone most.
i act like i’m fine
so no one will see how badly i’m not.
i say sorry
for things that aren’t wrong,
just so no one leaves.

i want love
but i don’t know how to hold it.
i’m scared of being too much
and not enough
at the same time.