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They Watch, yet don't know.
They See, but can't.
If Love is bliss,
Then So is ignorance.
I Feel her eyes.

**-N.C.
I love my heart,
Every contradiction.
It's warmth, it's ice,
Its truth, its lies.
My dreams, my fears,
My love and tears.
My path, my past..
I just don't. know.
I reside too deep.

**-N.C.
It's all up on the line,
Love creates a divide,
Between the right and wrong.
I write in chalk so I can change my thoughts...

**-N.C.
She's smiling, but she's hiding.
Every girl is like the moon,
Parts are almost always hidden.
I learn those parts first,
and just watch the rest.

**-N.C.
If happiness is from Heaven, and sadness from Hell,
I’m in-between worlds.
I’ve learned more from Hell,
then Heaven could ever tell.
Sadness etched on lips, and fingertips.
Creating it, that false sense,
of whatever Love is.
You’re always a victim, but never the culprit.
Funny to me, of "we,"
you found us first and kept it, Dear.
The voorpret we felt, as each drew near,
has now turned into fear.
Perhaps a love between you and I,
should have remained as mamihlapinatapai.
That, after all,
would have been, a happy end.

**-N.C.
Voorpret (n.) (as it is spelled) - pre-fun, the sense of enjoyment felt before a party or event takes place.
Language: Dutch.
Mamihlapinatapai (n.) (Mam-ee-la-pin-nata-pie) - the wordless look between two people who both desire something, yet are equally reluctant to initiate.
Language: Yaghan.
 Mar 2015 Mercury Chap
a
The crinkles at your eyes,
Not allowing tears to escape
The truest smile shows the crinkles at your eyes.
 Mar 2015 Mercury Chap
a
guilt
 Mar 2015 Mercury Chap
a
it consumes me,
biting through me, inside to out,
though the feeling doesn't belong to me
but to this other unknown
 Mar 2015 Mercury Chap
a
pressure
 Mar 2015 Mercury Chap
a
they squeeze
they press and pressure and push
until i decide to
pop
and do their bidding
and be a 'ganger
one of them
and then the others,
the true and tested,
the tried and done,
they cry and wonder
what the hell i have done
submitting to the evil
turning to stone
not knowing that the action
it's influence, invincible
unchangeable
not my fault
Shouts, pounds,
Squeaking trainers,
And once again I'm just one,
Of a team of failures.

My name is called,
I hear too late,
Whip round my head,
But take the full weight.

Glasses fly off,
I fall to the floor,
Dazed and out of breath,
And a demoralizing score.

The world becomes blurred,
And nothing is clear,
Except the laughter,
The accusatory jeers.

This is my reward,
For trying my best?
Well in that case enjoy your three man team,
Because I need a rest.
 Mar 2015 Mercury Chap
Dreamer
There was once a mentor
whom I dearly admired
I told him the darkest inner-workings of my mind
he listened gently with good intent
and last I said,
"There is no one in this world
who is going to give a **** about yourself,
There is no one in this world
who will genuinely take on the role
of make-believing your hero,
pretending to be everything,
anything
that you truly wanted.
I've come to realize,
no one gives. a. ****.
I am going to be my own savior."
I let a genuine smile reach my lips

he remained speechless
the silence and tension was palpable,
seemingly endless

Slowly, he looked up.

he stared hard into my glassy eyes
held my gaze firmly,
as I struggled to keep mines

my own savior?

"That's impossible", he replied

There was a quiver of my lower lip
a collapse in my chest

I could feel myself shattered.

With trembling hands
I reached out and asked the question I so constantly asked
and yet never dared ask,

*"Why...
Venting, yet again.
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