Frizzy hair and wide-eyed stares, and glares to stay the night.

Running streams and pretty things, and dreams to spark a fright.

I'm laying back down in the grass staring at the clouds,
Watching shapes swirl and swirl,
around and round and round.

In November, I settled into the holiday spirit.
I found my joy in coffee shops and bookstores.

In December, I steadied myself for the Christmas craze.
I spent my time at the mall shopping for gift wrap and mistletoe.

In January, I failed at keeping New Years resolutions.
I surrendered my hunger to restaurants rather than eating dinner in my own home each night.

In all of these places,
I looked for tables not by the front doors,
I hid in warm corners to read my books,
and I watched the snow fall from
closed windows
on second stories
where the blizzards
could never touch me.

However happy this time is supposed to be,
I still had to isolate myself to the indoors to stay away from all the twists and turns that the season brings.

And that harsh breeze you feel when walking by an open door in winter.

You mind your steps
   after you've stumbled.
You miss your home
   after you’ve left it.
You value your health
   after you’ve been sick.

But you can’t enjoy life
   after you died.

I wish I knew
How to feel
The way I felt
Before I knew
What I know now

Like most people, I see color.
I choose one to be my favorite.
I identify all objects through shade, tint and hue.

I witness darkness and lightness at their blurriest points.

I watch transparency succumb to these two worlds and let truth get lost in between.

In between worlds is where many find themselves.

Those who paint themselves gray, surrender to going unnoticed and convince themselves everyday that their scars will disappear if they stop looking.

These people are entitled to invisibility.
They wear it like a cloak or even a mask.
They adorn themselves in an attempt to stay hidden.

I too am lost between worlds.
Yet I don’t share a cloak of invisibility.
I wear intangibility as a piece of armor.

I am a soldier demanding my right to walk right through everything.
To feel nothing.
To go untouched but still seen.

I let others play the roles of bystanders watching me almost crash into conflict before passing through like a ghost.

I embody mystery and fate and death for my life is hiding somewhere in color.
I embody intangibility so I can glide through life and maybe access that color again.