This is a letter to brown eyed girls
I know you’ve heard the love songs and seen the movies
I know you’ve been confronted by them in your own life

I know you’ve seen the blue that reflects the depths of the ocean
I know you’ve succumbed to how easy it would be to swim in them

I know you’ve heard the rumors about how they light up when they laugh
I know you’ve seen the life they hold even when all the salt is drained out of them

But I know more than that, I know the things you could never know yourself

I know that the power of melting gold is only something you will ever have
I know that mystery is better when you look at something and can’t see what’s there

I know that the reason people are afraid of the dark is because they can’t understand it
I know the ocean isn’t warm the way a hot fudge sundae is

I know that when the sun is laid upon you, you light up uncontrollably
I know this fire that burns within you is eternal

I know that your eyes allow you to stay hidden and that although you might not stand out in a crowd, your secrets will only be deciphered by those who care enough to search for them

You are deep, you are wisdom, you are mystifying and you are power
A power so buried that even you can’t see it
A power that doesn’t have to shine to be potent
A power that only girls like you have
This is a letter to brown eyed girls

You consume me
I'm not stopping you

You're stabbing me
Because I'm asking you

I'm hurting you
By letting you hurt me

and i see it
i do
but im not stopping

this is the one with the good memories
this is the one with the awful tears
this is the one with the old beginnings
this is the one with the most fears

this is the one where I work to win
this is the one where we only lose
this is the one where I try to hate again
this is the one where my hate's a bruise

this is the one where you hurt me
this is the one where I let you
this is the one where I'm crazy
this is the one that always feels new

this is the one when my heart breaks
this is the one when things go well
this is the one when I find my voice
this is the one when I can not yell

this is the one where I'm pressured
the one where I want to scream
the one where if I express myself I'll lose you,
and everything we gained right in between

that was the one where I lost my rhyme
this is the one with you and me
this is the one where you're the real you
but that last one was the only one I see

Every time your laugh breaks,
Mine starts

Every time I open my eyes,
They get caught on yours

Every time I dream,
You break your way in

Your words fit into mine,
they own me

Your voice is high where mines low
it soothes me

Every time you smile
Something tugs at my lips

Every time I walk
It's towards you

Every time you think
I want to read you

You're perfectly molded to accept me
I'm made just to be with you
Our personalities beat only in unison

Yet, something about us will always be missing

We're two puzzle pieces and I've lost one of my edges
I'm broken, but only where you break me

There was a brown haired regional manager on my tv screen
There was an empty Reese’s blizzard cup in my left hand
There was my mother still out front of the house in her car

And

There was my college bound brother sitting on the couch watching alone

I began walking up the wooden staircase
Making my way to my room

The place where I would
Shut my door
Grab my phone
And leave my family behind like always

I’m telling you this without a sigh
And I’m telling you this with no regrets
The story of a staircase

An after ice cream staircase
On an after ice cream night

A staircase my feet didn’t touch  
As I chose to sit on a couch
And spend silently spent and silently recognized time
With my silently recognized role model

And that has made all the difference

I have curtains over my eyes
You can’t see them,
But I know that they’re there

They don’t allow my eyes to close and open,
But they allow me to decide what I should truly let into my perception

In the back of my mind, there is a shelf
It holds memories from a long time ago

These memories are how I remember
And they are how others forget who I am

In my throat, you will find a trap door
It’s locked and not even I have the key

Sometimes it opens to let in a breath of fresh air,
Yet it closes when it deems it most safe

Buried down in my heart is a stone
It weighs me down and holds many things

I can’t pick the stone up to see what’s there
But I know something that heavy must hold something important

My brain has become a home of my imagination
My body is now a place where anatomy is obsolete

I only hold objects and things that I can never see
And never touch
So that when one day when I fade away, there will be nothing left for anyone to find

I have a brightness deficiency
Forever forgetting a world without darkness

My whole life is over saturated
******* all the good parts out until they are all that you see

I have a papery polaroid heart beating inside my chest
Its colors are faded, as they should be

I turn the lights on,
Brighter and Brighter and Brighter
All I see is dusk

I rely on stars and sunlight
Trying to open my eyes wide enough so they can see like everyone else

Maybe my flash is broken
Or I'm the one draining out all the light