"The days following the shattering of my heart my mother came to me and asked "are you upset?"
Well dear mother if I were to tell you the truth I'd say yes, yes a thousand times because you see mom my first love just ripped my heart out of my chest. again.

A couple days later she'd ask "Honey why don't you sleep? I hear you up at night."
Well dear mother when one only has nightmares about losing the most beautiful person he's ever met and then wake up drenched in his own sweat taking deep raspy breaths that burn his own chest  to realize that he is living the same nightmare then you too would not find sleep.

A few days after that she'd ask me "Sweety why don't you eat breakfast?"
Well my dearest Mother when I wake up I find myself unbearably dizzy to the point where I can barely stand, and my stomach clenches so tight I swear to god it feels like satan himself is smashing my stomach between his hands, you find that you can barely stomach anything, it simply comes up and out of my mouth and leaves me breathless, gagging, coughing, tears in my own sunken tired eyes.

And then a few weeks after that my absolutely lovely Mother would enter my room or "cave" as she'd like to call it do to the fact I hardly leave it and my beautiful mother, she'd ask me " what's wrong, you're not the same?"

Well my dearest mother you'll find it is extremely difficult to smile and be happy and interact with other human beings when you're heart has been torn from your chest not once but twice from the same person. You'll find that every beautiful thing you see will remind you of them and weigh you down through out the day tearing your wound open just a little more. You'll find it's extremely hard to interact with people because with every person you meet you'll be looking for any sign of her in them. You'll find it's hard to smile knowing deep down in you heart that your first love has given up on the thought of you two being together, and given up on loving you the way she did before, the love you crave so deeply, the love you have such a fiery passion for it burns holes in your body.

Mother, you'll find it's hard to be the "same" when you're heart isn't the same either, you'll find it's hard to smile when you're heart is pouring tears the way the rain I adore pours down from the clouds, you'll find it's hard to be happy when you're heart is sooo terribly miserable it weeps every morning and night. You'll find it's hard to interact with people when the only presence of a human being your heart craves is the one it cannot have. Lastly mom.You'll see it's impossible to be whole, when your heart's been shattered to the point it might not ever be a whole again.