Aging adolescent, can you hear my cries
feeling the love that for years I've despised,
seeking happiness now finally it's here
ah, but how to mend a shattered heart that's no longer there

she's perfect, she's warm, funny, caring
seeing the good at the darkness she's staring
her eyes sparkle, a beauty that can't be sold
but still inside I hide, rotten, worthless and cold  

I've ascended my throne of isolation and barbed wire
for she took my hand and led me higher
blinded by the world above I gagged, I choked
an exfoliation of pure adoration, the amber hues of hope,

our passion burned deep as the crimson sands of Mars
she grabbed my dying self and raised me to the stars,
but now it kills me whenever I'm not around her
for upon that night I've simply never been happier

the past may be full of stagnant memories and regret
but hopefully I'll forge new ones that for the right reasons I won't forget
gazing upon life and for once I've found I care -
this world is an amazing one, if you have someone with you to share.

your arms are just arms
until they enveloped me in an embrace
your hands are just hands
until you touched and clasped it with mine
your laugh is just a sound
until i looked at you and my heart raced
you were just you
until i needed and wanted you
and you were just my friend
until i loved you

When I realized
That you make me happy
My heart broke
And I cried
And I became afraid
Because if you are my happiness
Then you have the power
to hurt me
And I know
That you're going to hurt me
Because that's what happens
Every time I love someone
And I'm tired of it

It ******* *****
when you've given your all to someone
and get little in return
when you thought you're special to them
or worse
they don't care at all

"I'm tired. I want to give up."
"If that's what you feel, then okay."

*****.
When I've been holding for too long because I don't want to give up on you no matter how hard it is to love you and when I told you how I feel, this is how you're going to respond?

You always say that you love me. But why are you letting me go this easy? I tried so hard for us. There are so many times that I almost tear my heart out for you. There are so many times where I cry on the cold floors of my bedroom because of you. There are so many times I almost gave up on you because I know I need to save myself from drowning because if I don't do it now, I'll die. But I didn't! Because I love you!

Did you ever really love me?
No. You don't understand. You don't understand the pain I'm going through because of you. You don't love me. You don't care.

I always ask myself, "Is this what I want? Am I just going to be okay feeling broken like this? Until when?" I can't. I can't let myself feel this pain every night anymore. I can't bear to feel this overwhelming pain in my chest because you're hurting me again and again and again and **** it.

I love you but I don't want this anymore.

You don't love me.
And now I'm going to leave.
And I know every step away from you will be so hard but I have to.
Because this is what I deserve.
Not the insecurities, longing, unanswered questions, taking for granted, tears and pain you always give to me.

I deserve to walk away from you.
And I hope that it'll tear you apart when you realize that I'm gone and you lost the one who'll give everything for you.

Because I deserve that, too.

Almost tastes a lot like you,
Drowns me in what might have been.
Your eyes tell an infinite amount of possible stories of the way our lives could have been.

"Scream"*
A motion picture film playing serenely in the background...
As we stood
It started as a simple hug
Where we breathed each other in
You and I
And I took my head from your perfect shoulder
And looked into those endearing, dark eyes
And I remember the perfection and serenity
As we slow danced
To no music at all
Swaying from side to side
My doe eyes
My pupils dilating
As you leaned into me
As your lips touched mine
Fully
For the very first time
And I breathed you in
And we kissed
My first kiss...
That you stole...


and I allowed you to steal
It
As Scream played serenely in the background...
And I uttered *'I Love You'
With the kind of Love
From 1 Corinthians 13...
I recited...
'Love is patient, Love is kind...'
And I asked you whether that was the Love that flooded from each of our hearts
And you declared that it was
That you loved me in the purest way
You rested your hands on my hips
As my arms hung loosely around your soft neck
And I rested my lips on that tender neck
And soaked you in
And the serenity of
This kiss
The darkness
And the sweet serenity of
Scream playing in the background...