The Earth was bright. As she spoke her eyes were vibrant,
And her words enthusiastic.
Her face was full of expression,
Her life was full of meaningless worries.

The moon shadowed the Earth. Her eyes became dark,
Her words became dull.
Her face is full of contempt,
Her life is full of complications.

The Earth is pitch black. Her eyes are closed,
Her words are silenced.
Her face is now full of amity,
Her life is now emptied of demur.

The Earth is slowly lighting up. Her eyes are opening,
Her words are whispers.
Her face is full of confusion,
Her life is full of memories.

The Earth is bright. Her eyes are opened,
Her words are proud.
Her face is full of comprehension,
Her life is full of contentment.

I just woke up
in the beginning of the evening

And suddenly became aware
that before this moment I was not aware.

And everything I did
and everything I said
I did without control,

And it feels as though today was lie,
this week was a sham,
this year has been false,
and my life is slipping away

Because I feel myself sinking in again
and I feel my fingers drifting away from my mind,
and it's starting again
and oh God please help me
I want to live
I want to live
I want to live


But here I go, down the muddy hole again.

The night unravelling,
caught in the moment of the earth's
dance on its tilt

when it's just as day
as it is the night; like light
appearing behind shut eyelids

who am I to trust
when the earth turns and dreams
turn into daytime reveries

will I wake up and forget
or will your elbow slide off the table
and break the spell?

This time is a perfidious lover,
so tell me,
whose side is it on

tonight?

at 18, she fell in love. the kind of love that moved mountains and swam seas. he made her write about relationships, mutual ones like the flowers and the bees

*at 21, she started writing tragedies.

Is it possible to be jealous of the future?
Of the people you will meet
that will make your dimples grow deeper?
Of the places you will see without me,
the pieces of pizza you will eat?
Of the new shoes you will pick out
and the dinner party you wear them to?
Of the girl you meet there,
who's laugh you'll like so much
that you'll forget about mine?
Of the dinners you cook
and the hikes you go on.
The adventures you'll have,
the drives, the movies,
the nights spent asleep,
the kisses?
The kisses.