why is it so
******* hard
for you to realise
that i’ll always be your
child, your blood
and that’s never going to change
just because the gender
i was assigned at birth
is different
than my real one
doesn’t mean
i’ll stop loving you
because you’re my dad
and i love you more than anything
i hate myself
so ******* much
i don’t think you
really know
that i wish i wasn’t like this
it’s not because i think it’s cool
or cute or a joke
i hate this body
i was born in
i want it to change
i know that
i’ll never really escape this
that you’ll always
see me as the little girl they told you i was
but i really
really
really
hate who i am
i would rather die
than stay trapped inside this body
i love you so much
i hope you know that
because you are everything to me
and i don’t want to lose you, too.

my poetry
is just a bunch
of pretty, nonsensical
ways to tell you
all of you
that i want to die
the rest of my poetry
is about him
or you, if you’re reading it
(you know who you are)

I keep saying goodbye
After goodbye
Who knew
It would be this hard?
I don’t want to leave you
You’ve all helped me grow.
You mean more to me
Than you realise
You are so **** important to me
You are my family
And I’m leaving you forever.
I love you
And I hope I’ll see you again.