in the morning
i watch the strangers leave their warm beds
and admire them as they go out into the world
i sit in the sun when i can
and usually don't tell people the truth
because i don't think they deserve it
or it's not worth wasting a breath
so i just watch instead

during the day
i walk around and try to make things right
or at least
make them seem right
and while i'm busy trying to make hands fit
i sit there and try to figure out what to say
but usually can only come up with adjectives
not full sentences

at night
when i get home
i sleep on the floor
and i pick at the brains of the monsters
under my bed for a while

and then i always go through
the whole day again in my mind
and try to figure out what exactly i was
thinking when i left you

And till this day
I still regret the chances I didn't take.

Stop blaming yourself
When life did you wrong.

You all inspire me to write and you excite me with your creative minds
But when my excited fingers reach my keyboard
I think of nothing to write about
The feeling is nothing but depressing.

I do not fear the earth I tread
Beneath these darkened skies
My quest  is to walk in honesty
Escaping deciet and lies
Each day I am reminded
By this challenge of mine
It's like scaling the highest mountain
That man will ever climb

If this is honesty,
then I’m tired of being afraid.
If it’s not, then I’m just tired.
(of being afraid)
It’s exhausting.
It’s all exhausting.
Waking up.
Falling asleep.
And yet I do it so well.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the ocean.
It doesn’t mind change.
Maybe I shouldn’t either.
Maybe I should.
Maybe I should take up smoking.
At least I’ll taste something different
inside these lungs.
I knew you wouldn’t stay for very long.
I could tell by the way
you looked at the airplanes, the clouds,
me.
I meant it when I said you’re worth it.
I’m sorry you didn’t rea—
I’m sorry for all the apologies.
It’s taken 8 months to figure out
that this wasn’t my fault.
I’m still standing;
rotting crossbeams and chipped up paint,
I’m still standing.
Maybe I should take up smoking.