i've become overwhelmed and i need to put my emotions down somewhere.
i've realized my feelings for a boy who in no way deserves it. he is young and selfish and in love with another girl and i am a woman and impatient and incredibly annoyed.
we are friends. he has spent the night at my house and i his, and i've told him things very few people know, and i hope its the same with him. however he is in love with a small beautiful girl who will break his heart and i hate it. i will never be with him but he deserves someone who will treat his hardened heart and kind eyes the way they should be. he runs away from his problems and uses drugs as anesthetics and talks about the universe like it holds every answer and when he's tired he uses my shoulder as a pillow. his eyes are light brown and often red from tears or *** and he cries at movies and he wants to kiss her so much and she is silent. she loves the attention and he is willing to give it and i don't know what to do because he is incredible and this is pointless bye

You are like the sea. Men will try to conquer you, they will claim to fall in love with you, try to tame you, even bury themselves in your depths; you will swallow anything that threatens your greatness. You, like the sea, not only deserves respect but commands it.

2. When a man calls you out your name, remember that "*****" is just another word for woman who dares to speak her mind. These words are daggers aimed at your throat to cut out your voice, when they use them against you, speak louder. Scream, yell, howl, let your voice be the one sound he fear the most. You cannot be silenced.

3. Love hard. Love everything. Love yourself. Love your work. Love your heart. Love your skin. Love the rain. Love the night. Love fearlessly. Let your love be thick, but once you stop loving something...or someone, don't force it.

4. You cannot experience intimacy without a measure of vulnerability. Don't be afraid of being vulnerable. It will hurt and it will get your heart racing; the feeling in the pit of your stomach will threaten to knock you over but let it happen. Vulnerability allows you to rid yourself of the poisons you've consumed from passed hurts and heartbreaks. Let the vemon leave your bloodstream, let healing take it's place.

5. They never tell you that it's fine to be comfortable with reservation. This is probably the hardest feat. Being comfortable with the fear and the doubt you feel when you step out of your comfort zone is the bravest thing you can accomplish. Embrace it, assess it and if you feel like it's too overbearing, walk away.

I'm white.
I don't know what it's like
to have a black son
and wonder if he'll get shot
on a walk down the block
because his skin
camouflages him
into the night.

I am white.
I don't know what it is
to fear shots
from the gun barrels of the cops
hired to protect and serve
"us" from "them"
thick boots stomping the block--

cops more **** than Trayvon,
more **** than Mike,
more **** than the pre-teen
with a BB gun
robbed of his life.

I am white.
I don't know how it feels
to bleed out in the streets,
the fruit of my veins
soaking into scorched tar,
my still-open eyes seared
by the August sun.

I don't know how it feels
to lie there, dead,
an echo of ancestors
dangling from trees,
from light poles,
sunk into the Tallahatchie
with barbed wire and a cotton gin fan.

I am white.
Our history is filled with pale devils
enslaving races,
seizing lands,
killing millions--

so if someone's going to get shot,
maybe it ought to be one of us.

i’m afraid that someone will meet my lips and taste stale cereal and close the lid. i’m afraid someone will open my heart and reveal cobwebs and old books about death and that i will have to explain and decorate, apologizing under my breath and they will never feel at home. i crave human affection in every way but i’m afraid my skin feels like sandpaper and my eyes are an abyss of the razors from my past and my tongue is nothing but a loaded gun with bad aim. people want soft grass and dandelions and cotton scented bed sheets and i am a splinter in the fingertip of their love.

i'm afraid i am nothing but a vampire who ***** the life out of anything that looks my way. i'm afraid that my nightmares will become reality and i will be the villain. i'm afraid that my bed will feel like spikes under his back. i'm afraid my demons will begin to haunt him if he gets too close. i'm so afraid that my knives will dull and it will be more painful than i intended. no one wants a destructive person to hold their ******* hand.

i'm afraid that i am none of these things and that my eyes will turn red at midnight. but even more so, i am afraid he will still find me beautiful and that i will **** him.