His dad told him he took a long time to say nothing. His own mother would insult others then say get over it. He was always supportive of them.
They didn't believe in him and only nice when they needed something. He always felt excluded for their love so he didn't bother anymore.
It was about

Going crazy over a girl
Had to move on get over it
Be strong putting yourself first
Not selfish learning to grow
Up late writing changing it up
Stayed sober cleaning up mentally
Music wanting to tell stories
Heart filled with beats and soul
Soul consuming scripture over hate

Woke up feeling great no need to debate
Going strong don't like to be late
Pursuing greatness overcome weakness gain strength
Been doing good but only getting better
Been down for too long just want to get it right
Made peace with the wrong and learned
Made my mistakes right tired of being wrong
Learned to say NO and put myself first
Focused on myself for once and it feels right
Lots of growth and progression up late nights
Rage out of the cage filled with inner peace

Always rooting for the underdog
They told them no over looked
Never given a chance took risks
Or they couldn't do it but been at it
Having more heart and caring more
Being disrespected trying harder
Never going to quit or surrender
Mocked more mouths to shut
Believing in himself no one cares
What he felt set up to fail
What he did wanting results
Win or learn ways to gain

Trying to belong fit in was hard for him. He didn't give anyone crap and took crap from no one. He hid a broken heart after being rejected all he wanted was to be himself. He felt like quitting and giving up but all his life was a fight to be heard to be understood. Hes been denied opportunity but worked harder. Overlooked because he didn't want to **** up or brown nose to move up.
He was tired one sided friendships so they called him a rebel he got use to being alone. He had been betrayed by people he considered family and his family was the worse. He loved them but he refused to compromise himself.

Tired from work but wide awake so much burden filling the void making the most of everything. The heat is picking up. Hard to relax so much on the mind.
Trying to have a life not just be stuck in a crazy routine. The days blur together. Getting older dealing with the youth learn to be more into detail over fast actions slowing down quality over quantity. Feeling the flow going slow same old thing need to make the most of everything.
In the mirror facing your worse critic no need for friends or enemies on your case. Family giving you hate you knock yourself trying to be great. Millions of things done one mistake feeling like a failure. Give yourself credit no regret for trying. Stress turning your hair white and knots in the stomach.

We met in high school and time has flown by. You are married and have kids. You came to me in a dream. You put your arms around me saying, "how long has it been?" You got close to my face this temptation not right and waking up from my slumber; my mind racing fueled, by wander. The glow in her eyes, but not meant to be. This love forbidden only in a dream it cannot be.

Use to post and was told write a blog. Never set out to make money off writing it was a way to express myself.  Tired of holding back letting go and living life is the way.
Always writing around things but been writing about them. From my eyes because that's what was seen or from these ears all heard and taken in.
Got the load off my chest just trying to be myself while others pretend to be someone else.

Sharing his pain to feel better
Making things worse feeling bad
Letting others they aren't alone
Letting go was hard had to be done
There was no going back missing it
Crumbling within tough times
Not letting others in feeling
Nothing but love full of loneliness
Giving his all with writing the words
Giving life to bottled up emotions
That are messages for others to relate
Letting go of the weight draining life
The glowing soul going dull

He showed emotions they called him a cry baby no one cared
He expressed his feelings they called him sensitive no one listened
When he showed no emotions he was called an ******* everyone noticed
He did well everyone quick to point out the mistake
He made a mistake and never heard the end of it
If he was happy negativity ruined his day
When he had a bad day everyone seemed to be in a good mood
He preferred to be alone stay distant
Reading for ideas so that he could write
Writing so that he could share his emotions and feelings so he could be heard
Called delusional for having an opinion
Judged for being different and having a heart
A hard worker one day the mule the next cut off
It gave him a voice since everyone gave his silence a false narrative

He had it all once he lost it everyone was gone disappeared. Rebuilding yourself a process to figure out what you want. Asking what does it mean how did it end up here.

Told his stories talked about scenarios
Asking and wondering
What else was going on
So much change over the years
In his story rising above toxic
Others made him out to be the villain
Written off one chapter and out
He was okay with it not fighting anymore
Why stay if you're not welcomed
Because his story wasn't over
Moved on with life found closure
The girl doesn't always love you back
Moving on she's married and has kids
The infatuation faded in the wind
The lust mistaken for love full of confusion

People always told him he was in his own little world. It was their way to explain his behavior because they didn't understand him. He was a loving person cared for most but when he stepped out of his bubbled world. He found the real world was negative who would want to live there. He noticed fake people how do you hurt or just people you love. It saddens him to see people pretending to be someone they are not but made into what others imposed on them.
He had been called names judged but it didn't bother him because it was the truth. How can he be mad. He was shattered though with his first love encounter. They went together it felt right but what broke him the most was he allowed this lovely girl to take his heart and play with it. He grew up in a tough love house hold and hated that feeling. Lowering himself and proving himself to be loved. She was on and off with her emotions they had something but it never went anywhere. He did love her but it was not meant to be but he would return to his bubble world never the same. Bad pain and memories remained he would learn to love again and love himself. His world torn down but rebuilding within.
He loved always even if he didn't agree never took anything to heart sometimes he felt like he didn't have one but when he used his hear and it came from his core all felt right. Nothing could bring him down or hold him back.
His eyes big and brown with a glossy shine that made him seem emotional. Long eyelashes that were natural most girls hated him because they had to use fake lashes. He would smile because he was happy not fake one to hide pain like most do.
So many thoughts in his head to him they felt right others made him out to be weird because he wasn't asking or looking for them to accept his way of doing things.
He would be honest while others fed him lies after a while the door to his door to the bubble world was closed because it was sentimental not for others if you got into the world he felt you are genuine and he felt he could trust you but once he got betrayed he'd stay away back to the bubble creating doing things that others seen as isolation but in his mind he was in paradise creating working on things that helped put his mind to ease see things with new or more perspective.

He walked into the shop and had a deep conversation with his barber. He was able to open up and vent talk about things while getting groomed at the same time. They exchanged words while his barber encouraged him about everything happening and coming together for the big moment. Every encounter and experience it all came together.

Sharing from the moment
Thoughts playing out
All the possibilities
What could've been said
What was said all the reaction
The vibes and tones have been set
Always some type of regret
Love is a foundation staying strong
Peace not always easy to maintain
Respect yourself others levels of pain

Dressed for the weather because it's going to be a hot day but don't want to get sunburned. Hiking is a morning or afternoon actitivity it's crazy for me to do mid day. Hiking trails are different from trails most rode a mountain bike I preferred a stunt bike. Pumping hard and hauling ***. The turns and paths so narrow and sharp.

Music spoke to the heart
The best lit up the soul
Singing fueled the heart
Able to feel sane again
Numb from the world
Love from within grew
Appreciate time alone to reflect
Taking in the silence composing
Pursuing goals to live life
A dream becomes reality

As I get older I realize it's okay to get away from certain family members. We are family but we don't see eye to eye and disagree. That's fine but when that person makes it feel unwelcoming. They bad mouth your name for having an opinion speaking your mind.
I learned to stop empowering them by not feeding into the negativity. Walk away with your head up. Go where you feel appreciated where you can grow. Don't be boxed in or be someone you're not to make others happy.  Do what you love what makes you happy grow be strong for yourself believe in yourself when no one else does.

Those feelings fade away
Always wanted to see you
But it's best I stay away
Gave my life to you
You could never be loyal and true
Moved on not going back
Walking with faith let go of hate
Walking stronger not looking back
Separate lives living for the right reasons
Not the same but overcame the pain
Those memories fade away in the light
Easier to sleep no more late nights thinking of you
Wanted to give you love but you treated me cruel
Now I'm loving myself staying loyal and true
Doing what I love and passionate about
All these positive vibes and feel alive

They left you broken
But it made you strong
Not holding a grudge goes no where
Moved on not living in the past
Embraced the present new encounters
Breaking free from toxic relationships
Negative family members severed ties
Being positive doing good things
Being the solution making a difference
Over the cycling zestpool lifestyle
Not about that life out grew the box

Always talking about growth and change
Sometimes the change doesn't happen right away
Working hard behind the scenes
Preparing towards the goals achieving success
It's about balance and maintaining success
What makes sense to you others find crazy
Results produced towards the outcome
Easy to see the ending do the work
That's between leading towards the dream
Take the steps to make moves to be happy
Even if you're alone stay sane deflect pain

She had curly hair and it was shiny with that wet look. She had a cute smile with buck teeth that reminded me of a chimpmunk. He smile was warm and very welcoming very sweet till you ****** her off. If you got on her bad side she would be heartless and emotionless. One minute she'd love you or she would act like a complete stranger never acknowledge you or your presents. Sometimes she would love you treat you like you are important part of her world other times. She would make you feel numb like you don't matter or mean anything to her.
The day these two met was in the school cafeteria. Both anxious and interested to meet one another his heart melted and the sparkle in her eyes felt right but it was a learning experience she had been in relationships it was a whole new world and experience for this young man. He wasn't cool but confident he didn't have much but worked hard for what he wanted and thankful for all he had going for him.
These two would have lots of personality but with time they would discover more about themselves.

Writing has been therapy, able to share emotions, and feel. so many try to label you for being different. Hatred for the truth, while others project assumptions full of lies. Don't have many true friends everyone wants different things.
Very rare to meet up with a person, pick up where you left off. Friends come and go like the seasons stick around treat you like family.  Music gives life a positive vibe stories to tell a life lived so many memories.

He felt angry because they lied and tried to dump it on his. He was sick of rules be this way act that way things others never did. He did it or didn't do always getting crap.
The internal conflict was taking it's toll walking the line. Feeling off balance about to topple over everyone talks about each other but never tries to better themselves. Always on the outside looking in once on the inside he wanted out.
He didn't like to disappoint others but they expected too much. Anything he did was never good enough. He did what he loved so many are miserable trying to knock him because they think they'll matter. Making a difference for all the wrong reasons later justifying them as right.

Why do you work so hard? Before my grabdpa died an older man working harder than the youngsters. Grandpa always said take take care.
Not afraid to get in there do the get it started and finish things. Months on the sidelines recovering made me want it more. Being kept out of the loop on the outside looking in. Sick or not fighting to be normal seen as an equal.
Being told your nothing but proving them wrong. Seen as special but in denial because no one steps it up came down a level which is numbing. Over the same bs different levels.

Sad how many act like you owe them
Tried to be cool just didn't fit in
To be honest you didn't accept
Or want me around back in the day
Use to care and value what you had to say
Now it's whatever your mistaken to think you're better than me
One day you will see don't mess with me
Things won't ever be like they use to be
Waking up within all negativity turning it into positivity
Trimming out all the bad
Avoiding all the toxic people
You only care for yourself
It was a thing you cut me out there is no we
Tried to say mean things
Turns out your weak
Act tough because no one care what you think
You are not to bright wasting up all the light
Moment passed waiting for the moment on a cold winter night
Trying to fight but no need for that back to the cave pen and pad write it all out.

Always keeping me from arguing
Preventing emotions from getting out
No time to process these feelings
Dealing with idiots and deep regret
People talk bad getting crazy
Once I do the same they are mad
The BS doesn't phase another craze
Lost in haze of recovery healing right
Writing to stay sane and maintain
Meditation helps cope with this pain
Hated for speaking up having an opinion
Called them out not absorbing the doubt

While the world sleeps wide awake
The days are short, nights feel endless
Heat makes the day hard to tolerate
While the cold night is soothing easy to relax
Telling my journal my goal my dream
So many fantasties meant to be a reality
The hard part is trying when being denied is common
Willing to change be no one else is willing to do the same
Wake up late the pure night sky and the stars so far yet so close
Sometimes they are the light and inspires passion to write
The night is a friend and the best part when the day ends

Not time to hate got work to do
Not taking on criticism
They aren't doing my work
Done proving myself
Just trying to better myself
Working harder working
Being smarter prefer to be alone
Working behind the scenes
Able to get it done have fun
They don't have your heart
Different mindsets brewing fueds
Trying to find a common goal
Done complaing do the work

Spoke from the heart now you avoid me. I'm honest with my thoughts but closed off with my heart. I've been hurt and hurt others. Sometimes I feel stuck can't say or doing anything you'll see through me or make me out to be someone I'm not. I think highly or you and think less of me no matter what I do. You claim I'm different but treat me like everyone else. You try to understand me and complicate things. You can't tell me how I feel or what I think. I'm open to compromise but over all the rules and games not playing anymore. If you can't accept me maybe it's best we depart our ways we live our life, deal with the consequences of our decisions.

People make mistakes learn from it and move on.
Some think because they control the narrative they are right
Trying to make you look and feel stupid
Giving their opinion no one asked matters
That's what they think and said
Too bad no one feels that way
He worried about this but realized it doesn't matter
He would never be one of them or seen as an equal
He didn't have to explain himself walked away tired of fighting and arguing
He wrote to clear his mind
Now his words are being use against him