Always keeping me from arguing
Preventing emotions from getting out
No time to process these feelings
Dealing with idiots and deep regret
People talk bad getting crazy
Once I do the same they are mad
The BS doesn't phase another craze
Lost in haze of recovery healing right
Writing to stay sane and maintain
Meditation helps cope with this pain
Hated for speaking up having an opinion
Called them out not absorbing the doubt

Dealing with my elder
Much love and respect for them
Once you move up feeling held back
Rather than be happy hate on all efforts
Trying to move up in survival mode
Now suppose to support the family
first job success abuse fathers ego
Tried to work with family but the expectation was too high
Gave your all it was never enough
Dealing with older people that act like children
Some know better, chose not to do so
Trying to be a child forced to be an adult
Now a adult learning to maintain
Emotional frustration enraged
Physical exhausted engulfed by pain

Easy to move because of drama
After a while you stand your ground
You did the work put in the time
Do your part and go home
Can't please everyone
Not always going to be right
Make a fee mistakes lost in the work
Learning to express emotions other than write
Deal with those unsettling feelings
The path has cleared over time
Going through the untamed brush
People come and go with the season
Some have reasons like family and health
Promotions onto better careers
Retirement years of hard work to rest
Some are a key factor and hard to let go
While others its time please go
Some are not growing while others settle

Living secrets holding on to burden
That have nothing to do with you
Cheater expects you to lie
Liar expects you to keep secrets
Pushed out not going back
Truth comes out not worried
Holding back internal screaming
Seen the front more to the fakes
Pretending to be someone else
A broken home outta the house

There are times when turning away to keep the peace goes wrong
The internal struggle
Talking and being ignored
Looking for permission
Doing the work right
Another fight in the mind
Anger and rage blinded
Everything such a blur
Keep fighting with scenarios
Keep on writing to calm down
Did wrong trying to make it wrong
Been hurt too many times
Hard to trust after so much betrayal

Dealing with my elders I
I respect their way of life
But don't **** on my way
I appreciate you looking out
I'm trying to be my own man
My own person I learned who not to be
Wish I had more positive influences
Doing something no one tried
While everyone sticks to the routine
Breaking old habits being better
Trying to not be consumed
By failed family traditions
Haters talk bad always up to no good
Trying to maintain not back in the hood
Over coming physical pain
Heal from the emotional trauma
Expressing concerns seen as issues
Trying to get answers from the wrong ppl
Trying to grow mentally develop personality
Same Haters try to cut down the process
Too much or not enough grew up to be tough

The deciet creates doubt
Questioning the judgement
On who to trust character mistaken
Not able to read the person
Thought one way acted another
Writing down these feelings
Hard to understand express
Not sure what to do with them
A clear mind Not be distracted
Blinded by detail noticing things
Trying not to obsess over the flaw
Focused on what was right