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  Mar 2019 abigail l
Empire
I have never
Ever loved anyone
In any kind of a
Romantic way

It makes my heart ache and burn
Restless and eager
For someone to decide
That maybe I'm worth pursuit

Here I am
19 years into life
And I have never
Even come close to romance

I don't need a man
But I want to know what
Butterflies in my stomach
Feel like before a date

I am capable and bright
Strong and passionate
But I long to be known
So deeply and
To be loved

But love eludes me
The other kind of lovesick.
abigail l Mar 2019
no girl just wants a boy friend,
                                       they want a best friend
abigail l Mar 2019
feel
I want to feel warm arms wrapping me up
shielding me from the reality of reality
the arms of a best-friend and a lover

feel
I want to feel love so intense I might explode
a love so sweet it makes cake taste bitter
a love that just pure enough to last forever

feel
I feel nothing but the loneliness that swarms me
the the self-hate that forced me to grow-up too young
the weight of all the people who left me

feel
I feel like a young girl who knows too much too young
a girl who's heart yearns for a love that isn't real
a girl who needs a hug
All I want to be hugged so tight all my broken pieces come together
abigail l Mar 2019
With every breath I fall a little
further down the rabbit hole
abigail l Mar 2019
Underwater is where the fish swim with glee, it’s where life is free
   Where colors bloom, where there is no doom
But what if there is, what if Underwater is where
the secrets are buried under The sand,        

Underwater is where the light fades into pitch black
Where life is trapped by the kraken's attack
Underwater is where hope is lost
Where nothing good is crossed,

But not all bad is evil maybe the pitch black is just a place for
More life to be born, where there are secrets there
Is truth, where there is doom there is peace
Where nothing good is crossed, something
great is never lost .
abigail l Mar 2019
Black spots and blurred lines , cold hands and lonely eyes
These lovely bones grow so alone inside
The demons come , but there is no place to hide
Except inside these lonely eyes

But these lonely eyes are no place to hide
For all the tears kept inside
Behind the smile no one notices
For the while

But the coldness creeps
While she sleeps
Destroying its victim
With the coldness
That seeps

Through the holes that were left after she wept
And in her dreams she would scream
Begging on her knees
For the demons to
Leave

But when she wakes her smile oh so fake
Hides the truth of her
Lonely eyes
As she slowly
Dies inside
abigail l Mar 2019
We adore life more than death because life is a beautiful lie,
and death is the painful truth
  
I admire life because it's like a dream, but it's also a pain, a fear, and a
           vapor that will somehow always seem to vanish…

   I adore death because it's the true goal of our existence, it's the  key
             that unlocks the door to true eternal happiness

Death eats up all the things that we used to be and leaves us with all the things we are meant to be... it destroys time only leaving us with
                            peace to enjoy the everlasting feast

Life is a shadow a fiction but it's also a luminous halo of light that surrounds us from the beginning to the end of consciousnesses
             an adventure that holds secrets and pain,
                                 love and hate

But life is only a dream and a lie that binds us into seeing its beauty,
      but death is only an enemy that shows us a forbidden truth

— The End —