For days now, thoughts have softly grown,
Of one I'd call my heart, my own.
My mother's trust-she lets me choose,
Yet where to find him, I've no clues.
Tall men, I find, do catch my eye,
But deeper truths I can't deny-
The traits I seek, I won't let go,
A steady love, not just a show.
Yet lately, hope begins to wane,
Love feels like some far-off domain.
These thoughts, like vines, around me cling,
And choke my mind on silent string.
In court, the charm is rare and thin-
More intrusive looks than warmth within.
Still, I don't hold beliefs too tight,
I bend, I shift, I seek the light.
Each day begins with tarot's call,
And every reading says it all:
"Your mind must change, your view reset-
Love isn't something you regret."
The voice that says, "I don't deserve,"
They call it false, a twisted curve.
That claim, they say, won't ever stand-
It holds no ground, it slips like sand.
When others try to draw in close,
I freeze-I cannot match their prose.
Some days I glow with hope anew,
Then falter, tired before I'm through.
A friend has come, with heart so kind,
To help love's thread begin to bind.
For that, I'm grateful, soft and deep,
Though still alone, with none to keep.
So here I write, my truth made known-
The crux remains: I'm still alone.