Suffocated by my own self doubt
And your disapproval,
Struggling to keep my head up
But you plunge it under

I want to believe in you
But I’m too old for lies and
I realize that it’s been this
Way all along

you make me hate me
reject me, dejected me,
a piece of you that is
sadly me, i am me and
you hate me

You think you never
Cut the ******
Umbilical cord,
That i’m one hundred
And fifty pounds of
Walking baggage
That belongs to you.

I’m just your grown-up,
Beat up barbie doll,
With the limbs loose
And skin scarred:
A breathing toy.

You invalidate me
So you can have a
Perpetual platform,
A pedestal tarnished
By the scuffs of your
Dagger heels.

Fame seemed just out of reach --
Across the bay, mere miles away
Her senses privy to the charm,
Head brimming with alarm
For she knew she’d never
Make it through
(But why stop dreaming?)

Rainy days make
your joints
And my heart
ache
Grisly greys, dampened dirt,
The scent of earth
Rich with grief and
consternation

I taste the mist and
Feel amiss, shivering in
Showers, a wilted
Flower,
Salty tears and fears
Masked by downpours
That drip and drown my
Burning humiliation

You’ve landed in my mind,
Meteor crashing into plain
Sight without any given
Warning - little did I expect
To find a crater in my heart
And a drive to fill the aching
Void

Your voice soft and dreamy,
Immortalized by memory:
The way words and truths
Roll off your tongue,
Cryptic creature, where
Are you from?

Where is your world,
What’s it like? I
Want to know,
But cannot go -
Why’s it that you
Captivate me so?