i want to delete all the memories
just like i did with all our pictures
i want to forget our history
and act like we're strangers
i don't want to miss you anymore
i want to get over you and close the door
i know you're not missing me
i know this is how it's meant to be

If I seem broken on the inside,
It was him. Not you,


(C)[email protected] 23/10/2019

i’ve taught myself
to be silent when
i shouldn’t,
and now i’m not
when i should,

there i go,
obliviously, relentlessly
and uncontrollably making
my voice worthless and worth less.

The final moments we shared
Together but alone
In all of our vulnerability
There was traces of lies
The weakest you are is the strongest I am
To call me beautiful
With a curled tongue
And clenched teeth
Even when you’re gentle
Your hands have cracks
Lie to me with pursed lips
Kiss down my spine
Until my back curves like the country roads
On the way to your fathers

Curiosity arises on me whilst in my slumber-
Begging for death - bland, little, and somber.
For what wine quenches in the finis?
Life contracts death as death to the mother.

Is the ship rested upon the seabed departed?
Lost and addled the skeletoned sailors uncharted?
Oh! Their diaries fail to notion-
Of a cataclysm that waves adapted to fainthearted.

For what our mirrors surrender
Is that which our ideals birth

It makes you cry and leaves you sad
But you like the salt and you love the mad

the sadness
is back again
i don't know why
it just seems like every time
i get better
or
i move forward
the world tilts
and all of a sudden
i am no longer running away
i am running into the darkness
always running
and i'm tired
so tired