I care.
and its the one thing that causes me the most pain.
It breaks me to see and to discover that the people that I care for the most don't care at all, not necessarily for me. But not at all completely.

I have felt the deepest pain due to this "problem"
and no, I can't just stop caring.
Its not that easy.

Because I am lonely, it means hiding certain things

Because I am kind, it means putting my own problems away

Because I am caring, it means not letting go- no matter  what

Because sometimes I can be mad, it means having a laughter break

Because I can be sad, it means I search for a shoulder to cry on

Because of being in love, it may mean that that I focus on the good and not the bad

Because I may be crazy, it means having people love me for the way I am.

Because I am me

I am damaged.
I am broken.

Something I wonder if I am ever wanted.

Saved
A blank page
in the story of my life

For You.

I have that feeling,
Where all I need to do is cry.

Feelings are never what they seem.
Especially if it's "fine".

Why does it feel
Like I'm LOST...

Without you near?

Today I sat alone.
Today I sat by the trash.
Today I sat in the car with a drunk women.
Today I sat at dinner while being screamed at.
Today I sat in bed and thought about the bad things.
Today I sat in the bath with a razor to my wrist.
Today I watched the blood slowly fall from my open vein.
  Today was the day I knew I wasn't okay.

You're just thinking about it and already crying, don't you?