~

Darkness now my only friend
As I sit here and dream again
That everything somehow will turn out fine

I fought the feeling all night long
My hopes and dreams would all be wrong
When come tomorrow morning I would find

My world it would come crashing down
As silence is the only sound
And loneliness does stare me in the face

Where happiness itself once stood
I find that it is gone for good
As blindness takes my visions to erase

The future once was shining bright
Albeit by a candle’s light
The flame would flicker swiftly in the air

But now that flame has gone away
To burn for someone else’s day
Its loving light another now can share

For now I look into the past
Of memories my mind does cast
And think about the good times that we had

A smile forms where it was not
of these good time I had forgot
to realize that they weren't oh so bad

I thought for sure this love was real
At least inside my heart did feel
That anything it soon would overcome

So what, the miles in between
You are the answer to my dream
In darkness you would be my rising sun

Alas my words were not enough
And when the going got too rough
The love I guess was not so very true

For true love it can conquer all
If it is real it shall not fall
This love will never end I have for you

So now I have to sit and wait
This day I can’t communicate
Through some all seeing power up above

And if this day you wake and shout
To find that you can’t live without
Forever here you’ll find my waiting love

~

Here in my arms I hold you, soothe you
Tightly, to never let go
Warmth to comfort sorrow
Safety for I shall not let anything hurt you

“All that I am I give in hopes of your smile”

As tears fall on wrinkled sleeves
Weeping eyes dried if only temporary
Close to me, within my grasp
Rest my love, soundly between minutes passing

“As times disappears, my love for you is steadfast”

By your side I will remain
No matter the moments of fear, worry, emptiness
I will be your strength, lean on me
For nothing will challenge my stance

“Weakness will not deter this affection I have for you”

Broken hearts, shattered pieces mingle with sad memories
If I could change places with the one you lost, I would
Freely fall to dark places, leave the sun behind
So that your happiness may return

*“For my life is nothing, without your joy”

you never tried to analyze me.
you never took a flashlight to the darkest parts of my mind, never checked my aching bones to make sure they were alright.
you never checked my lungs to see that they were filled with water, never saw my shoulders, the burden they were under.
you only saw my face, readied and pristine, my face constantly smiling whenever i heard your name.
you never examined the backs of my eyes to see what keeps coming back, never checked my spine to see if something makes it crack.
you never checked my muscles, you never checked my heart. if you had dusted it for fingerprints, you would've only found his marks



[this heartbreak hollowed out my bones, and weighs a thousand pounds, it pushed me underwater, but your name, i can't quite drown out. you're trapped inside my head, i hope you do get out, you're the burden i am under, i really have no doubt. if you had checked for fingerprints, you wouldn't have been invested, if you had checked my heartstrings, you wouldn't have been tested.
you failed the science test this time and i'm so sincerely sorry. but if you had checked for variables you wouldn't have had to worry]

tell me someone will love me
fully clothed
and

tell me someone will love me
with blood on my hands
and

tell me someone will love me
shaking, trembling, convulsing
and

tell me someone will love me
when they're searching for gold and i am rustic bronze
and

tell me someone will love me
with veins ripped apart
and

tell me someone will love me
with a starved stomach and empty eyes
and

tell me someone will love me
when i am dying
and

i'm asking you
//please love me//

the smell of old alcohol lingers on my sheets, less potent that of your cologne but it still brings back memories of 2. your face is all i can see in this swirling whirling darkness. 3. i swear i can still feel your hands wrapped around my waist holding me together but they are not there. the only thing you have a grip on now is my 4. heart, beating louder than a runaway train because of cloudy memories of your 5. taste overcoming me. you were so sweet, all that was left in your absence was the melancholy taste of loneliness
i never knew love could be so ironic

if he kisses you and it doesn't feel like his love is penetrating your veins through your mouth, if he kisses you and you feel like you owe him something more, if he kisses you and it feels like his tongue is searching for a "yes" in the back of your throat, if he kisses you and you don't feel like it is a direct pouring out of his love for you from his mouth to yours, if he kisses you and time doesn't stop, if he kisses you and the room doesn't spin, if he kisses you and you're not floating, if he kisses you and his lips aren't the only thing keeping you grounded, if he kisses you and he doesn't need both hands to steady himself, both hands to keep his grip on your beautiful face so he doesn't get lost in you then darling, he is not for you.
if he kisses you and it doesn't feel like he loves you, then darling, i am sorry, but he is not the one for you.