I used to hate cemeteries.
I hate the way it reminds me of my memories.
It reminds me how I lost someone and never had the chance to say goodbye.
Telling me I could no longer see him again no matter how much I cry.
It makes me regret of things that should have been and what ifs.
But when I visit you today for the first time, I was relieved that at least there was a place like this.
Where it can prove to me that you were once real.
That you really happened to me.
Your name engraved on the stone makes me remember that once in my life, someone like you existed and loved me.
I realized the true purpose of cemeteries- *to remember.

We were strained,
For god knows what happened,
No longer the same,
For we both know there's something in our lanes.

And so I went to sleep,
Thinking things will never change,
That we'll be like this,
But I woke up smiling.

You were there,
Laying on the floor,
Tapping on your iPhone 9,
For what dimension we were in, I don't know.

And I decided to sit down,
And converse,
Where the guts came from,
I don't know.

As if sitting down wasn't enough,
I lied down next to you,
Still playing with your phone,
Intrigued with the apps in it.

And you moved closer to me,
Tucked your head into my neck,
Wrapped your hands around me,
And I smiled.

Patted your head,
And told you,
Someone's downstairs,
But you didn't care.

There we were,
How I always wanted things to be,
But it took a wrong turn,
And I never wanted to admit it,
But it hurts, to see that this is all a dream.

This is the place where you left me.
That night was the worst.
The sky was gray, stars are no where.
I was hurt. I was wrecked.

Never thought I would come back here.
For so long, I thought you have my heart with you when you left.
The truth is, I just left it here where our memories live.
Now I want to take it back to me.

Most of the time, holding on to something too wonderful for you cause you more harm than good. It will never stop from hurting you till you give everything up. Until you have nothing left. Letting go is always an option you never chose. For the fear of never having someone like him. For the fear of never seeing his smile again. For the fear of never having a chance to hug him. For the fear of not hearing his voice calling your name every morning. You are too afraid to be alone again.That you are more than willing to lose everything but him. Because having him is worth losing yourself.